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Ben: Looking sharp dad. Jason: Well I have no choice. See your mother, a women in the high maintenance category, requires a top drawer evening. Ben: F.Y.I. dad, its popcorn-shrimp night at the sizzler. Jason: Well thanks but unfortunately three month
Mike: Dad, look, I need a favour, I'm late for my night class and the car won't start. Jason: Ok, here. Take mine. Mike: Great! Jason: And I'm running low on gas. Here's a twenty. Mike: Oh, gee whiz dad. Thanks. Maggie: Jason that was Mike. Jason: I
Ed: And my thanks to you my good man. Taxi Driver: That's thirty four even. Ed: I'll be right back. Taxi Driver: Hey, if I knew I was going to have to wait, I wouldn't have turned off the meter. Ed: I know. (In his head) Oh god give me strength. (Al
Jason: I hate psychiatric conventions, Maggie. Bad food, boring speeches, three days of hell. Come with me; we'll have a blast. Maggie: As madcap as you make it sound, I can't. Jason: Mmmmm Maggie: Oh, honey, you're just upset because the program com
Public Announcement: Attention people; those interested in testifying at Nurse Downer's parole hearing should report to the office. Have a nice day. Luke: All right, there she is. The time to strike is now. Ben: Nothing weird hanging out of my nose?
TV He drives for the basket, two seconds, he's up, it's good! Mike Jason and Ben: (cheering) TV And the Knicks tie it up! We go into overtime! Jason: Alright here we go! Maggie: Jason! Chrissy and I are getting tired of waiting out in the car. You s
Ben: I can't believe it! I just can't believe it; Laura-Lynn standing me up, me! And on Valentine's Day. Carol: Ben, why do you keep going with Laura-Lynn if she makes you so miserable? I mean, I don't mean to sound judgmental but it makes you look
Ben: Great Stinky, I'll meet you at the mall in twenty minutes. I'll be in women's underwear. No, I didn't get permission yet, but don't worry, it's no sweat. Mike: Benny, excuse me! Women's underwear! Ben: What's that for? I'm not gonna be wearing
Ben: Tell me that's not Gorbachev. OK, it's resources. Iron; I can get one of those. Pottash. Mom, where do we keep the Pottash? Carol: She's in the bathroom. What is all this? Ben: You can't tell! Carol: A map of Russia, drawn by keeping a pen betw
Mike: I got something I'd like to say. Grandma: Go ahead Mike. Mike: First I'd like to thank Mom and Dad and...and Grandma Erma and Grandpa Wally, for showing us all how great love and marriage really can be. And, I've also got kind of a surprise fo
Mike: Wow you guys must find this civil ore stuff pretty interesting to stay 5mins late. Mr. Tenneco: I believe I just did an involuntary fandangle. Mike: Yea Mr. Tenneco how can I help you. Mr. Tenneco: Actually I wanted to speak to your father. Mik
Mike: Oh, this is a nightmare. It all started when I sold my parents a trip to Europe and I got one for free. That's when my troubles began. And that's when I met Amy. Amy: Do you realize that according to the itinerary, we're missing the grave of V
Previously on Growing Pains. Maggie: So what happened to your State Teachers College? Mike: I'm not going. Jason: Exactly what's going on mike? Mike: I lied. Jason: You want that same rent. You want the Sever meal deal, then you've got to study some
Jason: No paper again this morning! Maggie: That's five days in a row. Jason: And more importantly that's two Dollars I'm deducting from next months bill. Maggie: What, no interest? Jason: Two Dollars and fourteen Cents. Maggie: Who are you calling?
Jason: Mike! Mike! Mike! If you're in there, things'll go easier on you, if you come out now! But not much! You know, I stupidly assumed that it would be impossible for you to get in trouble, with your high school principle two years after you gradu
Maggie: Oh Jason, don't you have a tissue? For me. Mike: I thought you guys said that Julie and I were rushing into this. Julie: Where'd you get an idea like that? Priest: Dearly beloved... Mike: I do. Priest: ...we are gathered together today, to w
Carol: Is that the mail man? Was that the mail man leaving? Mike: What! Not even a hello, for your dear sweet brother? Carol: Hello! Was that the mail man leaving? Mike: Carol, your lack in sincerity wounds me. Carol: Mike, where's the stinking mail
Patient: All I'm saying is, that if my wife, the woman that I cherish, thinks getting a job is more important than our marriage, let her die. Jason: Mr. Lapepki, think for just a moment, isn't this woman the same person you married ten years ago. Pa
Jason: Alright, well, that's our session for today. I'll be remodeling this office, so next week we'll be at another address, OK? Patient: A real office, huh? Jason: This is a real office Mr. Lapepki, I do real work here. Jason: Now, I'm not saying
Jason: Maggie, if we don't leave now we are going to miss the start of that movie. Maggie: I don't care. I'm just going to see Mel Gibson. Jason: Remember Mike, Chrissy's bedtime is... Maggie: Right now. Mike: Hey! you told me it was in an hour. Chr