英语笑话听力+文本：该来的账单还是会来的

【生词预览】 rotten腐朽的，sit on位于，extract拔出 【笑话原文】 Bills Still Keep Coming I tried to replace the rotten post that the mailbox sat on, but saved the beloved old box. I managed to extract all but one of the rusty nail

英语笑话听力+文本：我不会伤害你的

【生词预览】 parrot鹦鹉，beak（鸟类的）嘴，trim修剪，apt易于 【笑话原文】 I Wont Hurt You One day, a man brought in an African Grey Parrot to have its beak and wings trimmed. The owner warned that the bird disliked these pr

英语笑话听力+文本：A boy with a big head 大头娃娃

一个小男孩向他母亲哭诉道：他们都取笑我，说我脑袋大。 别听他们的，他母亲安慰道，你有一个很漂亮的脑袋。好啦，别哭了，去商店买二十磅土豆来。 购物袋在哪儿？ 没购物袋了----就用

英语笑话听力+文本：looking for a companion 找个伴侣

一个单身汉要电脑为他找个完美的伴侣： 我要找一个娇小可爱的，喜爱水上运动又喜欢群体活动的伴侣。 电脑回复是： 娶一只企鹅。

英语笑话听力+文本：Talking clock 会说话的钟

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. What is the big brass gong and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work? Watch, the man said an

英语笑话听力+文本：Parking Expenses 停车费

A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business

英语笑话听力+文本：Honest？诚实吗?

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. My name is Billy. What's yours? asked the first boy. Tommy, replied the second. My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living? asked Billy

英语笑话听力+文本：一睡醒你就被炒鱿鱼了

Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. As long as you're asleep, it read, you have a job. But as

英语笑话听力+文本：How could anyone stoop so low?

Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily

英语笑话听力+文本：Five Hundred Times 五百遍

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of

英语笑话：救人 Saving Lives

At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics. One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask Why do we have to learn this stuff? To save lives. The pro

英语笑话听力+文本：不想错过

【生词预览】 sit-down坐着由服务员送来吃的，across对面，stare盯着 【笑话原文】 Dont Want to Miss It A guy hosted a dinner party for people from work, including his boss. All during the sit-down dinner, the host's three-year

英语笑话听力+文本：三个醉汉

【生词预览】 drunk醉汉／喝醉了的，argue争论，settle解决 【笑话原文】 Drunks Two drunks were walking along. One drunk said to the other, What a stunning night, look at the moon. The other drunk stopped and looked at his drunk

英语笑话听力+文本：能信任吗

【生词预览】 delight使愉快，spot发现，honor system诚信制度 【笑话原文】 Can Be Trusting? Everything about country customs delighted my neighbors who had moved to our small town from the city. Then one day they spotted a sign, F

英语笑话听力+文本：梦寐以求的工作

【生词预览】 test测试，list列出，sternly严厉地 【笑话原文】 My Dream Job I found a dream jobtesting computer games. My first day at work I was listing testing plans in an Excel program when my manager walked by. He looked at my s

英语笑话听力+文本：有想象力的人

【生词预览】 hire雇用， personnel主管人事的，discover发现，imagination想象力 【笑话原文】 Somebody with Imagination Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. What is

英语笑话听力+文本：我可不能让他跑了

【生词预览】 male雄性的，female雌性的，crab 螃蟹，sideways从一侧，immediately马上 【笑话原文】 I Cant Let Him Get Away A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight ins

英语笑话听力+文本：我能杀了小乌龟吗？

【生词预览】 turtle 乌龟，sorrowfully悲伤地，tissue paper卫生纸、面巾纸，burial ceremony葬礼 【笑话原文】 Can I kill it？ Mommy, my turtle is dead, little Jack sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her i

英语笑话听力+文本：我们不卖给金发女人

【生词预览】 appliance store 家用电器商店，blonde 金发碧眼女人，dye 染色， disguise 化妆／假扮，frustrated 沮丧的，exclaim （由于痛苦、愤怒）呼喊 【笑话原文】 We Don't Sell to Blondes A blonde went to

英语笑话听力+文本：我量了一下

【生词预览】 carpenter木匠，evidence证据，witness目击，idiot白痴，measure测量 【笑话原文】 I Measured It A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The judge asked him how far away he was from the ac