英语笑话：English Joke - Tenses

The teacher says: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say I am beautiful, which tense is it? The student says: Obviously it's the past tense. NOTES: Present Tense: I am beautiful. Past Tense: I was beautiful. This is funny because

英文笑话：biology class 生物课

biology class This happened in a university biology class. The professor was explaining that sperm has a high concentration of dextrose. One freshman girl who looked puzzled asked, Then why doesn't it taste sweet? Notes: 1. This happened in a univers

英语笑话：eating grass 吃草

eating grass A man and a woman start to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes, the man gets up and says, Damn, I wish I had a flashlight! The woman says, Me，too. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes! Notes: 1. After

英语笑话：God's joke 上帝的玩笑

God's joke Do you know what the cruel joke that God has played on all men is? He gave them a brain and a dick, but only enough blood to run one at a time. Notes: 1. Do you know what the cruel joke that God has played on all men is? 你知道上帝对所

英语笑话：rubber 安全套

rubber Guess what the penis said to the rubber. The answer is Cover me. I'm going in. Notes: 1. Guess what the penis said to the rubber. 猜猜小弟弟会跟安全套说什么。 penis的口语别称有dick, peter, tool,所以在美国的年轻一辈

英语笑话：the last doughnut 最后一个甜圈

the last doughnut Do you know which two people at a nudist colony are the most popular? The first one is the guy who can carry a glass of cola in each hand and a dozen doughnuts. The second one is the girl who can eat the last doughnut. Notes: 1. Do

英语笑话：a female pharmacist 一个女药剂师

a female pharmacist A man asked a female pharmacist，Do you have Viagra? Yes， she answered. Does it work? he asked. Yes, she answered. Can I get it over the counter? he asked. You can if you take two at a time， she answered. Notes: 1. A man aske

英语笑话：the nearest land 最近的陆地

the nearest land There was an Olympic swimming champion on the Titanic. He was very confident he could survive. He asked the captain, How far away is the nearest land? The captain replied,About one mile. The man got excited and asked, In which direct

英语笑话：English Joke - The Frog & The Engineer

An engineer was taking a walk when a frog spoke to him and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke again and said, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful prin

英语笑话：English Joke - 3 Mice

Three mice were being chased by a cat. The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, You see, it pa

英语笑话：English Jokes - Love & Marriage

People often enjoy joking about love and marriage. Here is a joke about the first three years of marriage. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens. In t

英语笑话：English Joke - Doctor, it hurts!

A man goes to the doctor and says, Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts. The doctor asks, What do you mean? The man says, When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts. The doct

英语笑话：English Joke - John Says I'm Pretty

A: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter? B: I think you are pretty ugly. Insulting someone is often considered funny, especially when that person is fishing for a complement. NOTE: pretty ugly = very ugly

英语笑话：English Joke - 3 Restaurants

There were three restauraunts on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said The Best Restaurant in the City. The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said The Best Restaurant in the World. On the

英语笑话：English Joke - A Good Dancer

English Joke - A Good Dancer A girl and a boy are talking. The girl says, You would be a good dancer except for two things. The boy asks, What are those two things? The girl answers, Your feet.

英语笑话：English Joke - Will I Be Able to Play the Piano?

English Joke - Will I Be Able to Play the Piano? A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation. B: Yes, of course. A: Great. I never could before.

英语笑话：English Joke - A Cute Dog

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, Does your dog bite? The shopkeeper says, No, my dog does not bite. The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. Ouch, he says, I thought you said your dog does not bit

英语笑话：English Jokes - 4 English Riddles

Q: What are two things people never eat before breakfast? A: Lunch and supper. Q: What do tigers have that no other animals have? A: Baby tigers. Q: Why is the number six afraid? A: Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine) Q: How many legs does an a

英语笑话：English Joke - School Teacher's Note

An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school. If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.

英语笑话：Alphabet Riddles

Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect? A: B. (bee) Q: What letter is a part of the head? A: I. (eye) Q: What letter is a drink? A: T. (tea) Q: What letter is a body of water? A: C. (sea) Q: What letter is a vegetable? A: P. (pea)