英语笑话听力+文本：Chicken soup 鸡汤

Joe was in the hospital and it was time for lunch. He looks at his lunch and says, I don't like chicken soup, bring something else. The hospital worker said, It's good for you, the doctor said you should have it. Regardless, the patient refused to ea

英语笑话听力+文本：Free advice? 免费的建议?

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, What do yo

英语笑话听力+文本：Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸

A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He cl

英语笑话：Michael Jackson 迈克尔杰克逊

Michael Jackson How do you distinguish between the king of pop Michael Jackson and a shopping bag? One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with... the other is used to carry things you buy. Notes: 1.How do you distinguish between

英语笑话：divorce 离婚

divorce I asked my friend why she wanted to divorce her husband. She answered, Every time I sit on his lap, he starts dictating letters. Notes: 1.I asked my friend why she wanted to divorce her husband. 我问我朋友为什么她要和丈夫离婚。

英语笑话：burglar 小偷

burglar A man went to the police station to speak to a burglar. He asked, How did you get into my house without waking my wife? Tell me your secret because I've been trying to do that for years. Notes: 1. A man went to the police station to speak to

英语笑话：relative 亲戚

relative A husband and wife were driving down the road arguing with each other. They passed a pig farm and the husband said, Are they relatives of yours? Yes， she replied, I married into the family. Notes: 1. A husband and wife were driving down th

英语笑话：wedding 婚礼

wedding At a wedding, a little boy asked his mother, Mommy， why does the girl wear white? She answered, The bride wears white because this is the happiest day of her life. The boy thought about this and said，Why is the groom wearing black? Notes:

英语笑话：Breast enhancement 丰胸

Breast enhancement A woman tells her husband she wants to have surgery to enlarge her breasts. He tells her, Honey，you don't need surgery for that. She asks,Then how do I do it? Just mb toilet paper between them, he says. She replies, How does that

英语笑话：a tooth pulled 拔牙

a tooth pulled A man and his wife entered the dentist's office. The man said, I want a tooth pulled. We're in a big hurry, so forget about any pain killers. The dentist said，You're very brave. Which tooth is it? The man said to his wife, Show him y

英语笑话：Mozart 莫扎特

a tooth pulled A man and his wife entered the dentist's office. The man said, I want a tooth pulled. We're in a big hurry, so forget about any pain killers. The dentist said，You're very brave. Which tooth is it? The man said to his wife, Show him y

英语笑话：Bill Clinton 比尔克林顿

Bill Clinton Why did Bill Clinton get fired from his job at K.F.C.? Because he couldn't keep his lips off the breasts and thighs. Notes: 1.Why did Bill Clinton get fired from his job at K.F.C.? 为什么比尔克林顿被肯德基炒了鱿鱼？ 2.Be

英语笑话：Chelsea Clinton 切尔西克林顿

Chelsea Clinton A very corrupt lawyer and an immoral politician got married and had a baby. Can you guess what they called the baby? Chelsea Clinton. Notes: 1.A very corrupt lawyer and an immoral politician got married and had a baby. 一个很爱贪污

英语笑话：Woody Allen 伍迪艾论

Woody Allen Can you guess what the title of Woody Allen's latest movie is? It's called Honey, I Married the Kids. Notes: 1. Can you guess what the title of Woody Allen's latest movie is? 你能猜得出伍迪?艾论最靳电影的名称吗？ 伍迪艾

英语笑话：President George W. Bush 布什总统

President George W. Bush 布什总统 Do you know what President George W. Bush got on his college SATs? He got drool on it. Notes: 1.Do you know what President George W. Bush got on his college SATs? 你知道布什总统在大学学术能力测验中

英语笑话：Three American Presidents 3个美国总统

Three American Presidents Three American Presidents are on the Titanic. It hits a huge iceberg. It starts sinking very quickly. Jimmy Carter yells, Quick, save the women and children! Richard Nixon says, Screw the women and children.Bill Clinton says

英语笑话：The politician 政客

The politician A gangster wanted to corrupt a politician. He offered a fancy diamond watch in return for a favor. The politician said, It's bribery. I can't accept it. The gangster said, I'll sell you the watch for $20 dollars instead. The politician

英语笑话：fairy tales 童话

fairy tales A little girl asked her dad, Pop, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? He replied, No，honey, some fairy tales begin with ' If elected I promise to improve everything'. Notes: 1. A little girl asked her dad, Pop, do all fair

英语笑话：A drunk man 醉酒的男人

A drunk man A man went to a bar, got really drunk and then walked home. The man fell down after every two steps he took. He continued walking and falling all the way to his house. The next morning his wife said, I know you were drinking last night. H

英语笑话：the thirteenth floor 13楼

the thirteenth floor There were two very stupid robbers. They were robbing an office building. They heard police sirens and got nervous. The first one said, Let's jump down to the street. The second one said,But we're on the thirteenth floor! The fir