Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Victor? You're the worst pupil in your class. Said the father. What's that got to do with me? Is it my fault that the worst one was yesterday transferred to another school? was the answer. 维克多,你是班里最差的学生。

发表于:2018-12-07 / 阅读(56) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

Son: Is ink so very expensive, father? Father: Why, son, what makes you think so? Son: W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet. 儿子:爸爸,墨水很贵吗? 父亲:不贵呀,你为什么这么想? 儿子:哦,我把墨水洒了一点在

发表于:2018-12-07 / 阅读(76) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

When my brother, a notorious spender, came home for a visit, he told my father he was going to get married and settle down. Dad said, Why don't you stay single and settle up. 我的哥哥是个有名的挥霍者。他回家来时,告诉父亲说他要结婚了,要安定下来。父

发表于:2018-12-07 / 阅读(39) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arm. It's a prize, mother, he explained. A prize? What for, dear? For natural history. Teacher asked me how many legs an ostrich has, and I said three. But an ostrich has only two legs. I

发表于:2018-12-07 / 阅读(58) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read, English, poor; French, weak; mathematics, fair; and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad. Well, Dad. said the

发表于:2018-12-07 / 阅读(51) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. The last time she came, he objected, I didn't catch a single fish. I'll talk to her, his mother said, and I promise this time she won't make any no

发表于:2018-12-07 / 阅读(52) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

ARaise Anempolyeesaidtohisboss,I'vebeenhereforsixyearsdoingtwomen'sworkforoneman'spay.NowIwantaraise. Theemployerreplied,Well,Ican'tgiveyouaraise,butifyou'lltellmewhotheothermanis,I'llfirehim. Notes: 1.Anempolyeesaidtohisboss,I'vebeenhereforsixyearsd

发表于:2018-12-26 / 阅读(67) / 评论(0) 分类 英语笑话(MP3+文本)

eating grass A man and a woman start to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes, the man gets up and says, Damn, I wish I had a flashlight! The woman says, Me,too. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes! Notes: 1. After

发表于:2018-12-26 / 阅读(51) / 评论(0) 分类 英语笑话(MP3+文本)

biology class This happened in a university biology class. The professor was explaining that sperm has a high concentration of dextrose. One freshman girl who looked puzzled asked, Then why doesn't it taste sweet? Notes: 1. This happened in a univers

发表于:2018-12-26 / 阅读(61) / 评论(0) 分类 英语笑话(MP3+文本)

bill A White House assistant asked the President this question. She said, What are we gonna do about the new abortion bill, sir? He replied, Shhhhh, keep it down. Justpay it! Notes: 1. A White House assistant asked the President this question. 一个白

发表于:2018-12-26 / 阅读(47) / 评论(0) 分类 英语笑话(MP3+文本)

Little Mary: I find in my history book there is always such number (1451-1560) after the name Christopher Columbus. Would you please explain why, sir? Little Rose: I can tell her, sir. It was Columbus' telephone number! 小玛丽:我在历史书中发现,克

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(50) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out, but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(53) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

Teacher: Boys, I have a riddle to ask you. There's something wearing beautiful feather, and it can wake you up every morning. What is it, Tom? Tom: A feather duster, with which father wakes me up every morning. 老师:孩子们,我有个谜语要你们猜:有一

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(47) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

Teacher: Your typing is improving, Mary. There are only seventeen mistakes here. Mary: That's great! Teacher: And now I'll look at the second sentence. 老师:玛丽,你的打字有进步。这儿只有十七个错。 玛丽:那太棒了! 老师:现在我再来看看第二句

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(54) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning. Walter: What was it? Teacher: Eggs. Walter: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday. 教师:沃尔特,你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。 沃尔特:我吃

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(66) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. I feel terrible, she said. I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers. Forget it, consoled her husband. Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for t

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(85) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

At the age of 16, Edely decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father was appalled, A son of mine on the stage? It's a disgrace! he wailed. What if the neighbors find out? I'll change my name, the comic-to-be volunteered. Change your

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(67) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

The students in the composition class were assigned the task of writing an essay on the most beautiful thing I ever saw. The student who, of all the members of the class seemed the least sensitive to beauty, handed in his paper first with astonishin

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(67) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

The Professor rapped on his desk and shouted: Gentlemen, order! The entire class yelled: Beer! 教授敲打着桌子喊道:诸位,请安静! 全班大声喊:啤酒! [注]order 一词可作安静解,也可作点菜,点饮料解。

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(75) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话

Teacher: What's an abstract noun, Jane? Jane: I don't know, madam. Teacher: What , you don't know! Well. It's the name of a thing which you can think of but cannot touch. Now, give me an example. Jane: A red-hot poker, madam. 老师:珍妮,什么叫抽象

发表于:2019-01-02 / 阅读(71) / 评论(0) 分类 英文笑话