英文小幽默（3）

蜗牛买跑车 snail and car There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a w

英文小幽默（6）

懂得一门外语的重要性 A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away. Turning to her kittens, the cat

英文幽默笑话：巧合

Coincidence A woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the singer. What a terrible voice! he said. Do you know who she is? Yes, was the answer. She is my wife. Oh, I beg your pardon. The man said, Of course her

英文幽默笑话：可能更糟

Be Much Worse Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse. 可能更糟 警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么

英文幽默笑话：一个发怒妻子的祈祷

A man is so addicted to gambling that he often comes home late. His wife never stops railing at him. Once he is detained at his office and comes home late. His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. I pray to

英文幽默笑话：没问题

No Problem A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. How can I help you? asked the stylist. I went for a hair transplant, the guy explained, but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll

英文幽默笑话：Cheap price for a horse

After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for $50. 一个人衷爱的马死了，他打算在报上登则广告如下：50元卖马鞍和马缰绳。 Inadvertently the paper added a

英文幽默笑话：节食族

Mom was very proud that she'd lost ten pounds. On the way to the store with my husband and me she talked of little else. We dropped her off in the lingerie department, but when we returned, we couldn't find her. Thinking she might be in the fitting r

英文幽默笑话：日复一日

A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up. He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn

英文幽默笑话：是哪两个词？

What Are The Two Words？ A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter．My dear， said the old lady，I wish you would do something for me．I wish you would promise me never to use two words．One islousyand the other isswell．

英文幽默笑话：新员工

A New Employee Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we disco

英文幽默笑话：下雨

A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard. They did not have their umbrella with them， and there was nowhere to hide from the rain, so they were soon very wet, and the small boy did not fe

英文幽默笑话：让座

To Give Up the Seat Little Johnny says Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Well, you've done the right thing, says Mommy But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap. 让座 小约翰告诉妈妈：早

英文幽默笑话：她要买什么？

A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer．No，maam， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon． Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，Of course， we'll have somesoon， W

英文幽默笑话：不是我的错

It's Not My Fault Mother (reprimanding her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail. Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling. 不是我的错 妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。 女儿：妈，

英文幽默笑话：他曾发誓要死

He Swore to Die If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die. She refused him. Sixty years later, he died. 他曾发誓要死 如果你不答应嫁给我，他发誓，我就要去死。 六十年后，他死了。

英文幽默笑话：这也是我第一次动手术

Patient:I'm so frightened, this is my first operation. Surgeon:I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too. 病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。 外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术

英文幽默笑话：大五个月

Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John's brothe

英文幽默笑话：三个乞丐

King Guaire walked amid his court The palaceyard and riverside And there to three old beggars said， You that have wandered far and wide Can ravel out what's in my head． Do men who least desire get most， Or get the most who most desire？ A begg

英文幽默笑话：新生儿

The New Baby Mr．and Mrs．Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat．Now Mrs．Taylor was expecting another child． Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there