英文小幽默（6）
懂得一门外语的重要性
A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered 1, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.
Turning to her kittens, the cat said, "You see how important it is to know a second language."
一只大猫带着四只小猫，突然路遇一只大狗，小猫吓的往后退缩，这时大猫对着狗一阵大吠，把狗吓跑。
大猫扭头对小猫说：“看到没有，知道懂得一门外语的重要性了吧。”
英语幽默：男人和女人
Smart(精明的) man + smart woman = romance 2
Smart man + dumb 3(愚蠢的) woman = pregnancy(怀孕)
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion 4
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime 5
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
Married men lived longer than single man, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
我只把扣眼儿给缝上了 Just Sew the Buttonhole
Husband: Did you sew the button on my shirt, darling?
Wife: No, dear. I couldn't find the button, so I just sewed up the buttonhole.
丈夫：你给我把扣子缝好了吗，亲爱的？
妻子：没有，亲爱的。我找不到扣子，所以我只把扣眼儿给缝上了。
That's what I want to find out
-- We have got a new dog, would you like to come around and play with him?
-- Well, I don't know. Does he bite?
-- That's what I want to find out.
-- 我们又得到了一只新狗，你要过来和他玩玩吗？
-- 哦， 我不知道。他咬人吗？
-- 这正是我想要知道的。
- A gun went off and people cowered behind walls and under tables. 一声枪响，人们缩到墙后或桌子底下躲起来。
- He cowered in the corner, gibbering with terror. 他蜷缩在角落里，吓得语无伦次。
- She wrote a romance about an artist's life in Tokyo.她写了一个关于一位艺术家在东京生活的浪漫故事。
- They tried to rekindle the flames of romance.他们试图重燃爱火。
- She is very kind to the dumb children.她对哑童非常好。
- It was dumb of you to say that.你说这种话太愚蠢了。