英文幽默笑话：三个乞丐

 King Guaire walked amid his court 

　　The palaceyard and riverside 
　　And there to three old beggars said， 
　　You that have wandered far and wide 
　　Can ravel out what's in my head． 
　　Do men who least desire get most， 
　　Or get the most who most desire？ 
　　A beggar said，They get the most 
　　Whom man or devil cannot tire， 
　　And what could make their muscles taut 
　　Unless desire had made them so？ 
　　But Guaire laughed with secret thought， 
　　If that be true as it seems true， 
　　One of you three is a rich man， 
　　For he shall have a thousand pounds 
　　Who is first asleep， if but he can 
　　Sleep before the third noon sounds． 
　　And thereon， merry as a bird 
　　With his old thoughts，King Guaire went 
　　From riverside and palaceyard 
　　And left them to their argument． 
　　And if I win，one beggar said， 
　　Though I am old I shall persuade 
　　A pretty girl to share my bed； 
　　The second：I shall learn a trade； 
　　The third：I'll hurry to the course 
　　Among the other gentlemen， 
　　And lay it all upon a horse； 
　　The second：I have thought again： 
　　A farmer has more dignity． 
　　One to another sighed and cried： 
　　The exorbitant 1 dreams of beggary， 
　　That idleness had borne to pride， 
　　Sang through their teeth from noon to noon； 
　　And when the second twilight 2 brought 
　　The frenzy 3 of the beggars'moon 
　　None closed his bloodshot eyes but sought 
　　To keep his fellows from their sleep； 
　　All shouted till their anger grew 
　　And they were whirling in a heap． 
　　They mauled and bit the whole night through； 
　　They mauled and bit till the day shone； 
　　They mauled and bit through all that day 
　　And till another night had gone， 
　　Or if they made a moment's stay 
　　They sat upon their heels to rail, 
　　And when old Guaire came and stood 
　　Before the three to end this tale， 
　　They were commingling 4 lice and blood． 
　　Time's up，he cried，and all the three 
　　With bloodshot eyes upon him stared． 
　　Time's up， he cried， and all the three 
　　Fell down upon the dust and snored． 
　　癸尔王漫步在他的宫廷里， 
　　宫殿庭院和御水河边， 
　　在那里对三个老乞丐说： 
　　你们曾流浪得广阔遥远， 
　　定能解开我头脑中的疑团。 
　　人们是欲求愈少所得愈多， 
　　还是欲求愈多所得愈多？ 
　　一个乞丐说：人或恶魔 
　　都无法使疲倦者所得最多， 
　　除非欲望使他们肌肉绷紧 
　　什么又能使他们如此？ 
　　可是癸尔心思诡秘地大笑： 
　　假如这像看起来一样真实， 
　　你们三人中就有一个是富翁， 
　　因为第一个睡着者将 
　　得到一千镑，只要他能 
　　在第三天正午前入睡。 
　　于是，癸尔王像雀儿一样喜欢， 
　　带着他老年的思想， 
　　离开了御水河边和宫殿庭院， 
　　撇下他们争论个不休。 
　　如果我赢了，一个乞丐说， 
　　尽管我老了我仍将说服 
　　一个漂亮姑娘与我同床共卧； 
　　第二个：我将学一门手艺； 
　　第三个：我将赶到赛马场， 
　　挤在别的绅士先生们中间， 
　　把钱全押在一匹马身上； 
　　第二个：我又想了一下： 
　　当个农场主才更体面。 
　　彼此相对又是叹息又是喊叫： 
　　妄自尊大与游手好闲 
　　生出的乞丐的非分幻想 
　　透过他们的唇齿从正午唱到正午； 
　　当第二个黄昏带来了 
　　乞丐们的月亮的狂乱的时候， 
　　谁也不曾合上他充血的眼睛， 
　　只是试图使他的同伴不能入睡； 
　　全都在大叫大嚷直到怒气冲冲， 
　　他们相互撕打扭作一堆。 
　　他们又捶又咬过了一整夜； 
　　他们又捶又吱直到天光大亮； 
　　他们又捶又咬过了那一整日， 
　　直到过了又一个晚上， 
　　或者假如说他们稍事休息， 
　　他们就蹲坐下来咒骂指斥， 
　　当年迈的癸尔前来站立在 
　　这三人面前来结束这童话时， 
　　他们浑身是血混合着虱子。 
　　时间到了，他喊，三个人 
　　全都盯着他，瞪着充血的双眼。 
　　时间到了，他喊，三个人 
　　跌倒在尘埃，打起了鼾