英文幽默笑话：谁是骗子？

Who Are Crooks? A newspaper once carried an editorial which stated bluntly that half the city council were crooks. Under penalty of arrest, the editor issued following retraction: HALF THE CITY COUNCIL AREN'T CROOKS. 谁是骗子？ 一次，一份报纸

英文幽默笑话：丘吉尔和肖伯纳

Churchill and Bernard Shaw Winston Churchill was Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II. He was a fat and short man. George Bernard Shaw was a famous writer. He was tall and lean. Both of them were humorists. When they met at a reception

英文幽默笑话：超速的理由

Excuse for Speeding Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over. Why on earth were you driving so fast? the policeman yelled. Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident! 超速的理由 哈

英文幽默笑话：一睡醒，你就被炒鱿鱼了

Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. As long as you're asleep, it read, you have a job. But as

英文幽默笑话：霍迦斯

The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced，a hitch arose over the fee，and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half

英文幽默笑话：要否结婚

Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but never boiled over-just simmered. On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends. Upon his return

英文幽默笑话：问问你自己的吧

Ask Your Own It was a cold，raw day at Washington．Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor．The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius．Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask a

英文幽默笑话：手锯的用处

At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse. Let's try it. my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside. Sca

英文幽默笑话：我可以干得慢一些

I Could Do It Slower Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth? Dentist: Fifty dollars. Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work? Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like. 我可以干得慢一些 病人：拔一颗牙收费多

英文幽默笑话：CD唱机打油诗

Limerick There was a young lady of Niger， Who smiled as she rode on a tiger． They returned from the ride With the lady inside And the smile on the face of the tiger 打油诗 有个尼日尔小姑娘， 笑咪咪骑在虎背上。 他们兜风回返

英文幽默笑话：一个有心的乘客

Mr．Green went to Germany，because he had some work there．He came back last Monday，and his young wife met him at the airport．They walked to their car and passed a tall，pretty air hostess．Mr．Green said to her，Goodbye，Miss Harris， a

英文幽默笑话：接着走吧

Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon.

英文幽默笑话：一个好一点儿的男人

What a world of pathos in this: A barren room, illkempt children, a worn out patient wife, a dissolute husband, and weak. Mary, you ought to have married a better man. John, I did. 一个何等沮丧的情景：空荡荡的屋子，脏兮兮的孩子，

英文幽默笑话：关于水的笑话

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: Anyone knows the formula for water? Sure. That's easy, said one man. What is it? H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. What, what? reasked the instructor. H to O, explained the chemistry expert. 生化战

英文幽默笑话：傻爸爸

A Silly Father Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face. Hearing that, Mr. White became very angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said

英文幽默笑话：浣熊

Raccoons Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He

英文幽默笑话：班级、情人和蠢驴

Class, Lass and Ass Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow. A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor a

英文幽默笑话：What a big deal

A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He thr

英文幽默笑话：歌德的容忍

Tolerance Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, I'll never make way for a fool. But I wil

英文幽默笑话：父亲在哪儿？

Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are! Yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?