标签:英文幽默 相关文章
Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you? Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window. Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise? Husband: I.
When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine. Years later, when i felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named
A guy spots his doctor in the mall. He stops him and says, Six weeks ago when I was in your office, you told me to go home, get into bed and stay there until you called. But you never called. I didn't? the doctor says. Then what are you doing out of
What's your name? A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and
THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word Sex had been spelled with an o. One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to Sox: Usually brown. 某学校发给学生的健康调查表里
Clarinet When I played with a symphony orchestra, our union reached an agreement with a major airline about which instruments we could carry on board, and which had to be shipped as luggage. A cellist was dismayed to find that his delicate, expensive
Creative Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job. I
The Same Duties A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the arm
Clean Glass Joe and Fred were helping to build a house in a village. The weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. They found the nearest smal
CD Player While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?
Two Pieces of Cake Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please? Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two! 两块蛋糕 汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗? 妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
Class and Ass Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door:Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today. A student,after reading the notice,rubbed out thec. Later Professor Laurie came along,and entering into the spirit of
Too Smart for Dad Young man, said the angry father from the head of stairs, didn't I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter in? You did, admitted the boyfriend, it was going to strike eleven , but I grabbed it and held the gong so it
As a new father, I quickly learned the true meaning of maternal instinct. Late one night, I was summoned to the hospital to attend to one of my patients. I quietly got up in the dark but tripped over a toy and crashed to the floor. As I lay there rub
Not Knowing Her Well Wife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too? Husband: Well, I don't know her very well yet. 我