英文幽默笑话：谁是骗子？

Who Are Crooks? A newspaper once carried an editorial which stated bluntly that half the city council were crooks. Under penalty of arrest, the editor issued following retraction: HALF THE CITY COUNCIL AREN'T CROOKS. 谁是骗子？ 一次，一份报纸

英文幽默笑话：丘吉尔和肖伯纳

Churchill and Bernard Shaw Winston Churchill was Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II. He was a fat and short man. George Bernard Shaw was a famous writer. He was tall and lean. Both of them were humorists. When they met at a reception

英文幽默笑话：超速的理由

Excuse for Speeding Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over. Why on earth were you driving so fast? the policeman yelled. Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident! 超速的理由 哈

英文幽默笑话：一睡醒，你就被炒鱿鱼了

Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. As long as you're asleep, it read, you have a job. But as

英文幽默笑话：霍迦斯

The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced，a hitch arose over the fee，and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half

英文幽默笑话：要否结婚

Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but never boiled over-just simmered. On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends. Upon his return

英文幽默笑话：问问你自己的吧

Ask Your Own It was a cold，raw day at Washington．Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor．The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius．Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask a

英文幽默笑话：手锯的用处

At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse. Let's try it. my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside. Sca

英文幽默笑话：两个比目鱼问题

Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of the one that got away. But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how bes

英文幽默笑话：我可以干得慢一些

I Could Do It Slower Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth? Dentist: Fifty dollars. Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work? Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like. 我可以干得慢一些 病人：拔一颗牙收费多

英文幽默笑话：CD唱机打油诗

Limerick There was a young lady of Niger， Who smiled as she rode on a tiger． They returned from the ride With the lady inside And the smile on the face of the tiger 打油诗 有个尼日尔小姑娘， 笑咪咪骑在虎背上。 他们兜风回返

英文幽默笑话：诵读课

I had a schoolmate who had come into school at an age later than usual，and could hardly read．There was a book used by the leaners in reading calledDialogues between a Missionary and an Indian．It was a poor performance，full of inconclusive arg

英文幽默笑话：一个有心的乘客

Mr．Green went to Germany，because he had some work there．He came back last Monday，and his young wife met him at the airport．They walked to their car and passed a tall，pretty air hostess．Mr．Green said to her，Goodbye，Miss Harris， a

英文幽默笑话：三十年前发生的事

Uncle Silas had lighted his pipe for a comfortable smoke, when Aunt Rebecca looked up from her knitting and said: Silas, do you know that Sunday next will be the thirtieth anniversary of our wedding? I swan，said Silas，is that so，and what about

英文幽默笑话：接着走吧

Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon.

英文幽默笑话：吃醋的妻子

A Jealous Wife There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldnt find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, Great, so now you re cheating on me with a bald woman! The next night, when she didnt smell any per

英文幽默笑话：一个好一点儿的男人

What a world of pathos in this: A barren room, illkempt children, a worn out patient wife, a dissolute husband, and weak. Mary, you ought to have married a better man. John, I did. 一个何等沮丧的情景：空荡荡的屋子，脏兮兮的孩子，

英文幽默笑话：傻爸爸

A Silly Father Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face. Hearing that, Mr. White became very angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said

英文幽默笑话：班级、情人和蠢驴

Class, Lass and Ass Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow. A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor a

用美国人的一天学英语 Unit 2 Go to school 去学校 03

cut class/cut school 逃学 Jane was punished because she cut school in order to join the party. 简因为要去派对逃学而被处罚了。 from the old school 老派的 Aunt Helen is from the old school. She loves to wear a colorful long skirt. 海