圣诞节英语幽默笑话

What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime? 绵羊在圣诞节会对其它同伴说什么？ Merry Christmas to ewe（发音同you）! 母羊圣诞节快乐。（祝你圣诞节快乐） What's the best thing to put into Christmas dinner? 把什么

英文幽默笑话：两名士兵

Two Soldiers Two soldiers were in camp. The first one's name was George, and the second one's name was Bill. George said, have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill? Bill said, Yes, I have, and he gave them to him. Then George said, Now I ha

英文幽默笑话：忠告

The portly sales manager was getting ready to leave his doctor's office after a routine examination. Here, said the doctor, follow this diet, and I want to see three-fourths of you back here for a check-up in three months. 臃肿的销售经理做过常

英文幽默笑话：无礼的问题

Impudent Questions A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders. The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming

英文幽默笑话：霍恩·图克

George Ⅲ asked the once wellknown wit， Horne Tooke，whether he could play cards． Your Majesty， replied Tooke， I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned． I cannot even tell a King from aKnave. 乔治三世问一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩

英文幽默笑话：怕老婆的丈夫

The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives．He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severe

英文幽默笑话：帕蒂

Paddy There was a small boy who had been given a little terrier for his very own，on which he bestowed the name of Paddy，and loved mightily．He was very saddened by the fact that he could not take his pet away with him on his holidays，which he

英文幽默笑话：埋在花园里的枪

Guns Buried in the Garden An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden. He wrote to his son about it, a

英文幽默笑话：The First Day as a Taxi Driver

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. 乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀

英文幽默笑话：老虎来了

When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of Nikes from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look

英文幽默笑话：斯威夫特博士与小厮

A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr．Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant．Dr．Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble．One day as Swift was busy with his writing， the boy rushed into his

英文幽默笑话：借公牛一用

Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words. One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man. After the servant gave the note to the rich man

英文幽默笑话：我懂他的话

While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . Mump umn Kmpfhm, was all I heard. Drew, I scolded, no one can understand a word you're saying. He says he wants some ketchup, my husband said calmly A

英文幽默笑话：我是司机

I am the Driver The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard. It's too crowded, they shouted. What do you think you are? I'm the driver, he said. 我是司机 一辆公共汽车已经相当拥挤，还

英文幽默笑话：好客

Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visito

英文幽默笑话：浣熊

Raccoons Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He

英文幽默笑话：What a big deal

A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He thr

英文幽默笑话：歌德的容忍

Tolerance Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, I'll never make way for a fool. But I wil

英文幽默笑话：父亲在哪儿？

Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are! Yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?

英文幽默笑话：诗人的名字

The Name of a Poet Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today． It works like this， she said．Suppose you wanted tore member the name of a poetRobert Burns，for instance．She told us to thi