标签:幽默 相关文章
Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you? Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window. Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise? Husband: I.
When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine. Years later, when i felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named
A guy spots his doctor in the mall. He stops him and says, Six weeks ago when I was in your office, you told me to go home, get into bed and stay there until you called. But you never called. I didn't? the doctor says. Then what are you doing out of
What's your name? A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and
The World's Greatest Swordsman At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly i
THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word Sex had been spelled with an o. One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to Sox: Usually brown. 某学校发给学生的健康调查表里
Clarinet When I played with a symphony orchestra, our union reached an agreement with a major airline about which instruments we could carry on board, and which had to be shipped as luggage. A cellist was dismayed to find that his delicate, expensive
Creative Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job. I
Not too Bad Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show? No, but I am encouraged, he replied. Somebody stole one. 不算太坏 你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗? 没有,但我还是受到了鼓励,他回答说,有人偷走了一幅
Rope or Ox? The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it u
The Same Duties A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the arm
1. I'm an office worker. 我是上班族。 2. I work for the government. 我在政府机关做事。 3. I'm happy to meet you. 很高兴见到你。 4. I like your sense of humor. 我喜欢你的幽默感。 5. I'm glad to see you again. 很高兴再次
Two Pieces of Cake Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please? Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two! 两块蛋糕 汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗? 妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
Class and Ass Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door:Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today. A student,after reading the notice,rubbed out thec. Later Professor Laurie came along,and entering into the spirit of
Too Smart for Dad Young man, said the angry father from the head of stairs, didn't I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter in? You did, admitted the boyfriend, it was going to strike eleven , but I grabbed it and held the gong so it
Not Knowing Her Well Wife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too? Husband: Well, I don't know her very well yet. 我