英语笑话：mailed photo 邮寄照片

mailed photo A motorist received a picture of his car speeding and a $100 speeding ticket. He sent the police station a picture of $100. The police responded with another mailed photo: handcuffs. Notes: 1. A motorist received a picture of his car spe

英语笑话：scorecard 记分卡

scorecard I used to play golf with a guy that cheated all the time. I remember once he had a hole-in-one and wrote down zero on his scorecard! Notes: 1. I used to play golf with a guy that cheated all the time. 我以前经常和一个老是作弊的家

英语笑话：Mozart 莫扎特

a tooth pulled A man and his wife entered the dentist's office. The man said, I want a tooth pulled. We're in a big hurry, so forget about any pain killers. The dentist said，You're very brave. Which tooth is it? The man said to his wife, Show him y

英文笑话：Whose Fault谁的错

Teacher: Betty, you made so many mistakes in your exercises, surely your mother will blame you! Betty: Blame me? Oh, no. On the contrary, I'll blame her, because it was she that did my homework instead. 老师：贝蒂，你作业中出了这么多错，你妈妈一定会

英文笑话：When Was Rome Built? 罗马是什么时候建成的?

Teacher: When was Rome built? Tom: At night. Teacher : Who told you that? Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day. 教师：罗马是什么时候建成的？ 汤姆：夜里。 教师：谁跟你这么说的？ 汤姆：是您。您说过罗马不是在一个白天建成的.

英文笑话：4-4=? 四减四等于几?

One day, the teacher inquired Peter: How much is four minus four? Peter was tongue-tied. The teacher got angry and said: What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what

英文笑话：Ear Short 耳聋

I thought my wife, Barbara, was losing her hearing, so one day I decided to test it. I quietly walked in the front door and stood 30 feet behind her, Barbara, I said, can you hear me? There was no response, so I moved to 20 feet behind her behind he

英文笑话：A Pledge 誓约

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday, and everyone was complimenting him on how well he looked. I'll tell you the secret, he said. My wife and I were married seventy-five years ago. On our wedding night we made a pledge that whenever we had a

英文笑话：Nouns 名词

Teacher: A noun is the name of a person or thing. Now, who can give me a noun? First boy: A cow. Teacher: Very good. Another noun? Second boy: Another cow. 教师：名词就是一个人或一种物的名称。现在谁能给我举出一个名词？ 第一个男孩：一头奶牛。 教师：

英文笑话：The Swimmer 游泳者

The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast. Johnny laughed. Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that? asked the teacher. No, sir, answered Johnny, but I wonder why he did not swim it four times

英语笑话之《吝啬鬼请客》《精神病患者》

The mean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot. Why use my elbow and f

经典双语笑话 第10期:古老的中国智慧

Ancient Chinese Wisdom 古老的中国智慧 Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. 很久很久以前在古老的中国，皇帝病重。 None of his esteemed physicians could find a cure, until an ancient sage revealed t

经典双语笑话 第15期:我没有把药吃下去

I didn't take that in 我没有把药吃下去 A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories. 有位理解能力相当迟缓的老兄一直为便秘所苦，因此医

经典双语笑话 第12期:用脸去敲钟

Face it 用脸去敲钟 Quasimodo had just died, so the rector was looking for a new hunchback to ring the great bell of Notre Dame cathedral. 钟楼怪人刚去世，因此教区的神父正在找一位驼背的人来敲巴黎圣母院的大钟。 B

英语笑话听力+文本：该来的账单还是会来的

【生词预览】 rotten腐朽的，sit on位于，extract拔出 【笑话原文】 Bills Still Keep Coming I tried to replace the rotten post that the mailbox sat on, but saved the beloved old box. I managed to extract all but one of the rusty nail

英语笑话听力+文本：我不会伤害你的

【生词预览】 parrot鹦鹉，beak（鸟类的）嘴，trim修剪，apt易于 【笑话原文】 I Wont Hurt You One day, a man brought in an African Grey Parrot to have its beak and wings trimmed. The owner warned that the bird disliked these pr

英语笑话听力+文本：A boy with a big head 大头娃娃

一个小男孩向他母亲哭诉道：他们都取笑我，说我脑袋大。 别听他们的，他母亲安慰道，你有一个很漂亮的脑袋。好啦，别哭了，去商店买二十磅土豆来。 购物袋在哪儿？ 没购物袋了----就用

英语笑话听力+文本：looking for a companion 找个伴侣

一个单身汉要电脑为他找个完美的伴侣： 我要找一个娇小可爱的，喜爱水上运动又喜欢群体活动的伴侣。 电脑回复是： 娶一只企鹅。

英语笑话听力+文本：Talking clock 会说话的钟

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. What is the big brass gong and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work? Watch, the man said an

英语笑话听力+文本：Parking Expenses 停车费

A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business