老友记精校版第1季 第1期:莫妮卡的新室友(1)

 　　Monica: There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with.

　　没什么可说的。只不过是我的同事而已。
　　Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy. There's gotta be something wrong with him!
　　少来了，你和那个人出去约会，他一定是有什么问题！
　　Chandler: All right, Joey. Be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump behind a hairpiece?
　　好啦，乔伊，嘴下留德。他驼背吗？假发后面的肿块？
　　Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? 'cause I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl oh!
　　慢着，他吃粉笔吗？我只是不想她重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。喔！
　　Monica: Okay, everybody relax. Relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
　　好吧，大家淡定。淡定。这甚至都不算是约会，我们只不过是出去吃晚餐，也不做爱。
　　Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
　　听起来好像是说我的约会。
　　Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing 1 in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
　　好啦，回到中学那个时候，我站在自助餐厅中央，突然发现自己全身赤裸。
　　All: Oh, yeah. I've had that dream.
　　哦，耶，做过那样的梦。
　　Chandler: Then I look down and I realize there is a phone...there.
　　然后我低头一看，发现有一支电话在那儿。
　　Joey: Instead of. Chandler: That's right!
　　而不是？ 没错！
　　Joey: Never had that dream.Good night!
　　从没做过那样的梦。
　　Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
　　突然，那个电话响起来了。
　　Chandler: Now I don't know what to do? Everybody starts looking at me.
　　然后我不知道该怎么办，大家都开始看着我。
　　Monica: They weren't looking at you before?
　　之前他们就没看着你？
　　Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it.
　　最后，我觉得应该接这个电话。
　　Chandler: And it turns out it's my mother. Which is very, very weird 2 because she never calls me.
　　结果是我妈妈（打来的）。这十分十分的奇怪，因为她从来不给我打电话。
　　Ross: Hi.
　　嗨。
　　Joey: This guy says, "Hello, " I wanna kill myself.
　　这家伙说句"你好"，我都想自杀。
　　Monica: You okay? sweetie!
　　亲爱的你还好吧？
　　Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine 3 pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck.
　　我就感觉好像有人将手伸进我的喉咙，抓住我的小肠，从我的嘴里拉出来再缠在我的脖子上。
　　Chandler: Cookie?
　　要饼干吗？
　　Monica: Carol moved her stuff out today.
　　卡箩今天搬走了她的东西。
　　Monica: Let me get you some coffee. Thanks.
　　我给你弄杯咖啡。 谢谢
　　Ross: No, Oh! No don't! Stop cleansing 4 my aura. Just leave my aura alone, okay? Fine, be murky 5.
　　不，喔！不，不要！不要清理我的气息！离我的气息远点，好吗？好吧！继续抑郁吧！
　　Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be happy.
　　我会没事的，好不好？真的，各位，我希望她会幸福。
　　Monica: No, you don't.
　　不，你并不希望。
　　Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
　　不，我不会的，让她见鬼去吧，是她抛弃了我！
　　Joey: You never knew she was a lesbian?
　　你从来都不知道她是女同性恋？
　　Ross: No! Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
　　不知道！行了吧？为什么每个人总是揪着这点不放？
　　Ross: She didn't know. How should I know?
　　她都不知道，我又怎么会知道？
　　Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud?
　　有时候我希望我是女同性恋。我大声说出来啦？
　　Ross: I told Mom and Dad last night. They seemed to take it pretty well.
　　我昨晚告诉爸爸妈妈了，他们似乎很好地接受了。
　　Monica: Oh, really? So that hysterical 6 phone call I got from a woman sobbing 7 at 3:00 A.M. , "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
　　噢，真的吗？那我凌晨三点接到一个歇斯底里的女人打来的电话，她在电话中抽泣说"我不会有孙子了，我不会有孙子了 " 那是怎么回事？打错电话啦？
　　Ross: Sorry.
　　对不起。
　　Joey: Alright Ross, Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting.
　　没事的，罗斯。听着，你现在感到很痛苦，你很生气，你感到很受伤。
　　Joey: Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joints 8!
　　我能告诉你答案是什么吗？脱衣舞俱乐部！
　　Joey: C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones 9.
　　拜托，你单身了，找点乐子吧！
　　Ross:Single, I don't want to be single, okay?
　　可我不想单身，好不好？
　　Ross: I just...I justI just want to be married again.
　　我只是我只是，我只是想再婚。