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Jason: Good morning. Maggie: Morning, Jason. I just got my first fan letter from my column. Jason: Good. That's wonderful. What's it say? Maggie: Dear Miss Malone, I've never really given much thought to kitty litter, but your recent article opened m
Jason: You ok? Maggie: Oh I'm fine, it's just a house. Jason: Yea, it's just a house that you lived in for the first 18 years of your life, house that you haven' even seen since your dad died. Maggie: Like I said, it's just a house. Oh my God its dad
Maggie: The senator offered me a job! Jason: What? Maggie: Executive director of Media Relations. Maggie: We are thinking about moving to a wonderful place called Washington DC. Chrissy: The murder capital of the USA? Ben: You guys can go on ahead to
Maggie: OK Ben, we'll be back from the theatre by eleven, unless your father springs an after show supper...we'll be back by eleven. Now, you know Chrissy's diapers are and I laid out her pajamas, and I don't think it's a very good idea for you to h
Mike: Due to the continuing flu epidemic, the following teachers will be out today, and their classes cancelled. Oh, Kate you read 'em, I'm too nervous. Kate: Professor Forrest, Chem. and Bio labs. Mike: Oh, I knew I should have taken Chemistry. Kat
Vito: OK Seaver, the next chick who walks through that door is yours. Ben: Mmmm, not too shabby. Vito: Now that's a woman. Stinky: Marone. Ben: Hey, is Mary Migliana wearing falsies? False alarm, training bra. Stinky: What's she training to do, anyw
Mike: Alright, the king is mean. The king is lean. He's shooting. Here he goes. Hes up to three... Boner: Mikey. Its four am. Any time to get some studying done? Mike: relax. You are acting like this is finals week. Boner: It is. Mike: Yes! One hund
Maggie: Good morning everybody. It's the second Saturday of the month and you know what that means. Ben: You're gonna be cranky? Maggie: No. It's chore day. Freeze! Ben: Oh, come on. Carol: But I always have to clean the bathrooms, it's not fair. Ma
Mike: Ha! That's what they make you wear at Captain Sub? Luke: No, I just like to dress like Popeye. Mike: Look, when you get a new job, you do have to deal with difficult people. Luke: You mean like the customers? Mike: No, like your family. Maggie:
Ben: Oh no, mount, Vesuvius is erupting! Honey you grab the kids, I'll start the chariot and... Glug, glug, glug, this is great, I gotta get an A. Carol: No you won't. Ben: Are you kidding? I got this baby rigged to blow at the push of a button. I m
Radio: It's two twenty five am and this is for all you lovers who still believe she's stuck in traffic. Mike: Yeah, that's probably it, Kate's probably just stuck in traffic, I mean, the theatre is all the way across campus. OK, I'll give her five m
Loudspeaker: Ben Seaver get your hollow head in here! Mr. Dewitt: M-i-s-t-e-r Seaver? Do you think that I'm a fool? Ben: Sir, I was just repeating what everyone else was saying. Mr. Dewitt: Oh, don't smart-mouth me. You have requested an application
Maggie: Hi honey. Jason: Oh you're backhave you seen my credit cards? Maggie: Oh yesDid you know that you could double a spending limit with just one call? Jason: You're kidding! You didn't. Maggie: Relax; we only shopped at the back to school sales.
Previously on growing pains: Mike: Hello, Mrs. Seaver Wouldn't you like to put the thrill back into your marriage by touring Europe for just pennies a day? Maggie: Mike, the day your dad springs for a trip to Europe, is the day pigs fly. Seats in fi
Luke: Ok, now hold this down and be careful, it those to wires touch you can get a nasty shock. Mike: Ben. Ben: Yow. Mike: Hold this down for me. Ben: Sure, aww. Luke: Got it yeah. Mike: Alright, alright, look at that this one cable, three sets diffe
In the game of life, if it often seems like youre on the losing end of things, youre not alone. Life can be one giant conundrum filled with ups and downs. When you feel like youre experiencing more downs than ups, sometimes it helps to get a little t
Matt Lauer: A new book explains why girls feel the pressure more than boys, it is called
Coach: and reach and stretch and grab those grapes, and punch that guy right in the face. Carol: Grade A students shouldnt have to take gym. Debbie: Oh yeah Carol. Guys really go for a curvy brain. Shelly: If it werent for my shapely thighs, where w
Jason: Make breakfast, make coffee, wake up! Better wake up first. Oh. I made breakfast? Did I make coffee? I did. Wonder what else I've done this morning? Mike: Hey! Good morning, Dad. Jason: Hey, Mike, you're up. Mike: Yeah. Jason: I've over-slept
TV: And coming up late tonight Steven Botchcoes cop Rock. Maggie: Ok Chrissy, its time for us top leave. Chrissy: Mum. Are you going to be home late, or am I going to have to miss Cop rock? Maggie: Honey it's passed your bedtime. Chrissy: But its bre