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Jason: Oh sa-weet heart. You know, i was just thinking, with Carol working late and Chrissy asleep, Bens out doing god knows what, you and I have this whole house to ourselves. Maggie: Jason, its not even dark out. Jason: I know. Maggie: Honey, cant
Stinky: Is it A, Gastropods, B, Marsupials or C, Planaria? Ben: Um...don't help me, here. Stinky: I can't. Ben: Um... It's A, that thing with gas. Stinky: No, it's D, none of the above. Ben: But you didn't even say that! Stinky: I didn't think it wa
Jason: I'm just saying that I wouldnt be going in to work tomorrow if I were two weeks over due. Maggie: Well thats because you are a better mother than I am. Mike: Heee Ben: Mike. Singing is for kids. Besides you promised no singing. Remember. Mike
Ben: Pass it jenny, pass it! Into the basket. Veto: Hey, Im open! I'm open! Ben: Slam it Jenny. Ben: Hey, foul. Veto: Hey you're foul. Jenny: Watch it you pig, dog, wart hog. Ah, got to go. Ballet class. Good game Ben. Ben: Nice going Jenny. We're s
Maggie: This is Maggie Malone, with this live exclusive. The end of the three week old Long Island garbage strike may be at hand. We have learned exclusively that the head of the sanitation workers local, Harry Spreckles, is meeting in secret sessio
TV: And that's why for our part of the investigation, New York's finest: Pizzerias that is. Kate: Do you believe the garbage they have on local news? Mike: Oh yeah, I know. Who was number two, was it Jessetti or Antonio? TV: Still ahead, Record snows
Ben: Oh no, mount, Vesuvius is erupting! Honey you grab the kids, I'll start the chariot and... Glug, glug, glug, this is great, I gotta get an A. Carol: No you won't. Ben: Are you kidding? I got this baby rigged to blow at the push of a button. I m
Radio: It's two twenty five am and this is for all you lovers who still believe she's stuck in traffic. Mike: Yeah, that's probably it, Kate's probably just stuck in traffic, I mean, the theatre is all the way across campus. OK, I'll give her five m
Kate: So, you're saying I'm wrong. Mike: No, no, I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying that you know absolutely nothing about women. Kate: Mike, there's not a woman in the world who's gonna let you kiss her after you got her name wrong. Mike:
Loudspeaker: Ben Seaver get your hollow head in here! Mr. Dewitt: M-i-s-t-e-r Seaver? Do you think that I'm a fool? Ben: Sir, I was just repeating what everyone else was saying. Mr. Dewitt: Oh, don't smart-mouth me. You have requested an application
Maggie: Hi honey. Jason: Oh you're backhave you seen my credit cards? Maggie: Oh yesDid you know that you could double a spending limit with just one call? Jason: You're kidding! You didn't. Maggie: Relax; we only shopped at the back to school sales.
Ben: See you later dad, I'm going to the movies with Kenny. Jason: Ben what did I tell you to do the last time you and I had a serious talk Ben: Hmm wait till I'm married. Jason: No!! Rake the leaves. Ben: Oh come on dad, Handy man Bob is guaranteed
Previously on growing pains: Mike: Hello, Mrs. Seaver Wouldn't you like to put the thrill back into your marriage by touring Europe for just pennies a day? Maggie: Mike, the day your dad springs for a trip to Europe, is the day pigs fly. Seats in fi
Luke: Ok, now hold this down and be careful, it those to wires touch you can get a nasty shock. Mike: Ben. Ben: Yow. Mike: Hold this down for me. Ben: Sure, aww. Luke: Got it yeah. Mike: Alright, alright, look at that this one cable, three sets diffe
Carol: Mom, Dad, it's a very generous offer, but, I don't I don't need to look over the dorms of Boston College to...to convince me. I've already made my decision, and I know where I want to go next year...Columbia University, in near by and conveni
In the game of life, if it often seems like youre on the losing end of things, youre not alone. Life can be one giant conundrum filled with ups and downs. When you feel like youre experiencing more downs than ups, sometimes it helps to get a little t
Matt Lauer: A new book explains why girls feel the pressure more than boys, it is called
Coach: and reach and stretch and grab those grapes, and punch that guy right in the face. Carol: Grade A students shouldnt have to take gym. Debbie: Oh yeah Carol. Guys really go for a curvy brain. Shelly: If it werent for my shapely thighs, where w
Jason: Make breakfast, make coffee, wake up! Better wake up first. Oh. I made breakfast? Did I make coffee? I did. Wonder what else I've done this morning? Mike: Hey! Good morning, Dad. Jason: Hey, Mike, you're up. Mike: Yeah. Jason: I've over-slept
TV: And coming up late tonight Steven Botchcoes cop Rock. Maggie: Ok Chrissy, its time for us top leave. Chrissy: Mum. Are you going to be home late, or am I going to have to miss Cop rock? Maggie: Honey it's passed your bedtime. Chrissy: But its bre