伍迪单口相声精选 第10期:艾格斯·本尼迪克特Eggs Benedict

I had once a pain in the chestal area. 有一次我胸口部位很疼。 Now, I was sure it was heartburn, y'know, 'cause at that time I was married and my wife cooking with her nazi recipies, y'know, chicken Himmler. 我想那一定是胃灼热，因为

伍迪单口相声精选 第17期:我的爷爷My Grandfather

Wanted to flash this watch, I flash it all the time. 一直想炫耀一下这块表，我总是拿它来炫耀。 It's my antique pocket watch, and it makes me look British, and I need that for my analysis. 这是我的古董怀表，它让我带有英

伍迪单口相声精选 第12期:欧洲之旅European Trip

I have been in Europe for the last six months making a film called What's New Pussycat, starring Peter O'Toole and Peter Sellers and myself, in that order. 过去六个月里，我一直在欧洲拍一部叫《怎么了猫咪》【1】的电影，由彼

伍迪单口相声精选 第13期:迷惘的一代The Lost Generation

I mentioned before that I was in Europe. It's not the first time that I was in Europe, I was in Europe many years ago with Ernest Hemingway. 我前面提到我去过欧洲，那不是我第一次去欧洲，许多年以前，我在欧洲跟厄内斯特

伍迪单口相声精选 第14期:布鲁克林Brooklyn

I never used to go to the beach, 'cause I come from Brooklyn, we only had Coney Island, which was an awful beach, though there was rumours during the war, that enemy submarines, German subs came into the bathing area at Coney Island, and they were de

伍迪单口相声精选 第15期:军队The Army

And I was not in the army, in case you were wondering. I was in the canine corps. 不知道你们是不是想知道，我没当过兵，但我加入过狗兵团。 Strange story, when I was young, I wanted a dog, and we had no money, we were very...m

伍迪单口相声精选 第16期:宠物Pets

When I was little boy, I wanted a dog desperately, and we had no money. I was a tiny kid, and my parents couldn't get me a dog, 'cause we just didn't have the money, so they got me, instead of a dog - they told me it was a dog - they got me an ant. 在

伍迪单口相声精选 第20期:纽约大学N.Y.U.

I used to go to New York University a long time ago, which is in Greenwich Village, that's where I started, and I was, ah, in love in my freshman year. 很久以前我曾就读于纽约大学，它位于格林尼治村，在那里当我大一的时候我

伍迪单口相声精选 第1期:伏特加广告The Vodka Ad

Mr. Woody Allen. 请伍迪艾伦先生。 Thank you. Let me start at the very beginning. I did a vodka ad, that's the first important thing. 谢谢。我还是从头说起，我做的第一件大事与做伏特加酒广告有关。 A big vodka compan

伍迪单口相声精选 第5期:机械物体Mechanical Objects

Someone asked me if I would tell this story. A long time ago...It's a wierd story. 有人问我会不会说下面这个故事。那是很久以前的事了，一个很诡异的故事。 It was out in Los Angeles and I was at a party with a very big H

伍迪单口相声精选 第7期:绑架Kidnapped

I was kidnapped once. I was standing in front of my schoolyard, and a black sedan pulls up. 我曾经遭到过绑架。当时我正站在校园前面，有一辆黑色的轿车驶过来停到我身旁。 And two guys get out, and they say to me, do I

伍迪单口相声精选 第9期:科幻电影The Science Fiction Film

I wrote a science fiction film which I'll tell you about. 我来给你们讲讲我写的一部科幻电影吧。 It's ten after four in the afternoon, and everybody in the world mysteriously falls asleep. 在某日下午的四点十分，地球上的每

伍迪单口相声精选 第2期:拉斯维加斯Vegas

In addition to my vodka ad, I also played Las Vegas for the first time. 除了我的伏特加广告，我还第一次去了拉斯维加斯玩。 You see I'm not a gambler, you should know that about me. I went to the racetrack once in my life and I b

伍迪单口相声精选 第3期:第二次婚姻Second Marriage

Which I think brings me to my main...conclusion here, that is that I got married, that's the biggest thing that's happened to me over the last...I got married for the second time, incidentally. 我想现在到了来告一重要段落的时候了，那就

伍迪单口相声精选 第19期:胸袋里的子弹Bullet In My Breast Pocket

Years ago, my mother gave me a bullet...a bullet, and I put it in my breast pocket. 几年前，我妈妈给我一颗子弹一颗子弹，我把它放在我的胸袋里。 Two years after that, I was walking down the street, when a berserk evangelist

伍迪单口相声精选 第6期:驼鹿The Moose

I shot a moose, once. I was hunting up -state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car. 曾打到过一头驼鹿。我到纽约的西北边狩猎，我打到了一头驼鹿。我把他捆在我车子的前杠上。 And

伍迪单口相声精选 第11期:口头避孕Oral Contraception

I must pause for one fast second and say a fast word about oral contraception. 我必须打断一下，很快地说一句关于口头避孕的事。 I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. 两星期前，我碰到

伍迪单口相声精选 第8期:不幸福的童年Unhappy Childhood

I was talking about this on TV last week. I escape always into a rich fantasy life, that comes from an unhappy childhood. 上周我就在电视里谈论过这个。我总是逃离现实生活而沉浸于绚丽多姿的幻界，这是由于我不幸福的

伍迪单口相声精选 第4期:大师雷纳尔多The Great Renaldo

Listen to this. I was watching one night the Ed Sullivan Show, and Sullivan had on a hypnotist called The Great Renaldo. 听听这则故事。有天晚上我正在看爱德沙利文秀，沙利文请来个催眠师，人称雷纳尔多大师。 And R