月亮和六便士 第十五章(4)

 　　As long as I thought he'd run away with some woman I thought there was a chance.  “只要他是同一个女人跑掉的，我总认为他还有回来的可能。

　　I don't believe that sort of thing ever answers.  我不相信这类事能闹出什么名堂来的。
　　He'd have got sick to death of her in three months.  不出三个月他对她就会讨厌死了。
　　But if he hasn't gone because he's in love, then it's finished. 但是如果他不是因为恋爱跑掉的，一切就都完了。”
　　Oh, I think that's awfully 1 subtle, said the Colonel, putting into the word all the contempt he felt for a quality so alien to the traditions of his calling.  “哎，我认为你说的这些太玄虚了，”上校说，这种人性是他的职业传统所不能理解的，他把自己对这种特性的全部蔑视都用“玄虚”这个词表现出来，
　　"Don't you believe it. He'll come back, and, as Dorothy says, I dare say he'll be none the worse for having had a bit of a fling."  “别相信这一套。他会回来的，而且像陶乐赛说的，让他在外头胡闹一阵子我想也不会有什么坏处的。”
　　But I don't want him back, she said. Amy! “但是我不要他回来了。”她说。“阿美！”
　　It was anger that had seized Mrs. Strickland, and her pallor was the pallor of a cold and sudden rage.  一阵狂怒这时突然把思特里克兰德太太攫住，她的一张脸气得煞白，一点血色也没有。
　　She spoke 2 quickly now, with little gasps 3. 下面的话她说得很快，每说几个字就喘一口气。
　　I could have forgiven it if he'd fallen desperately 4 in love with someone and gone off with her.  “他要是发疯地爱上一个人，同她逃跑，我是能够原谅他的。
　　I should have thought that natural. I shouldn't really have blamed him.  我会认为这种事是很自然的。我不会太责备他。
　　I should have thought he was led away. Men are so weak, and women are so unscrupulous.  我会想他是被拐骗走的。男人心肠很软，女人又什么手段都使得出来。
　　But this is different. I hate him. I'll never forgive him now. 但是现在却不是这么回事。我恨他。我现在永远也不会原谅他了。”
　　Colonel MacAndrew and his wife began to talk to her together.  麦克安德鲁上校和他的妻子一起劝解她。
　　They were astonished. They told her she was mad. They could not understand. Mrs. Strickland turned desperately to me. 他们感到很吃惊。他们说她发疯了。他们不理解她。思特里克兰德太太在一阵绝望中向我求援。
　　Don't you see? she cried. “你明白我的意思吗？”她喊道。
　　I'm not sure.  “我不敢说。
　　Do you mean that you could have forgiven him if he'd left you for a woman, but not if he's left you for an idea?  你的意思是：如果他为了一个女人离开你，你是可以宽恕他的；如果他为了一个理想离开你，你就不能了，对不对？
　　You-you think you're a match for the one, but against the other you're helpless? 你认为你是前者的对手，可是同后者较量起来，就无能为力了，是不是这样？”
　　Mrs. Strickland gave me a look in which I read no great friendliness 5, but did not answer.  思特里克兰德太太狠狠地盯了我一眼，没有说什么。
　　Perhaps I had struck home. She went on in a low and trembling voice: 也许我的话说中了她的要害。她继续用低沉的、颤抖的声音说：
　　I never knew it was possible to hate anyone as much as I hate him.  “我还从来没有像恨他这样恨过一个人呢。
　　Do you know, I've been comforting myself by thinking that however long it lasted he'd want me at the end?  你知道，我一直宽慰自己说，不管这件事继续多久，最终他还是要我的。
　　I knew when he was dying he'd send for me, and I was ready to go;  我想在他临终的时候他会叫我去，我也准备去。
　　I'd have nursed him like a mother, and at the last I'd have told him that it didn't matter, I'd loved him always, and I forgave him everything. 我会像一个母亲那样看护他，最后我还会告诉他，过去的事我不记在心里，我一直爱他，他做的任何事我都原谅他。”