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Ive been getting a lot of headaches the past few weeks and my co-worker suggested I go see an optometrist. Dr. Olho: Okay, lets take a look. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Virginia: I used to, but I had laser eye surgery three years ago and I dont
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Britney: I was thinking of hitting up Jane for a little loan. You know her better than I do. What are the chances shell spot me a couple hundred dollars until next month? Salvador: I think thats a pipe dream . I wouldnt exactly call her a cheapskate
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Olivia: Dad, can I ask you a question? Dad: You just did. Olivia: I mean, can I ask you another question? Dad: Ask away . Olivia: Where do babies come from? Dad: What? Where did you come up with that one? Olivia: I don't know. Dad: Let me tell you .
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Diane: Im so exasperated! Im really tired of the homeowners association in my condo building. Ricardo: Whats the matter with it? Diane: The people who sit on the condo association board are a bunch of do-nothings. Ive filed complaint after complaint
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I was happy to finally get a job, but I wasnt ready for a first day of work like this one. ... Boss: This is your first day and my job is to give you the rundown on how we do things around here. This is a well-oiled machine . Everybody has to pull hi
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Benny: Mom says were supposed to share. Julia: I know. Im divvying up the candy right now. Just hold your horses. Benny: I want to do it. I want to make sure I get my fair share. Julia: I called dibs on dividing up the candy, remember? You snooze you
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Karen: My company offers a 401(k) plan. Do you think I should have one? Jimmy: Yes, definitely. I had a 401(k) account when I worked for McQ Corp, and when I started working on my own I converted it to an IRA. Karen: I really dont understand any of t
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Amina: Have you heard the latest news? Shane: No, what is it? Amina: Charlie was fired last Friday after the company found out that he had been cooking the books for over six months and had embezzled more than $50,000. Shane: Charlie? I dont believe
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I admit it. Im a player. I work in an office where there are a lot of attractive women. Take Debra, for example. I heard that she just broke up with her boyfriend last week so I decided to ask her out. Liam: Hi, Debra. Hows it going? Debra: Okay, I g
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I was waiting patiently for the furniture store to deliver my new bed. I was given a window of 1:00 to 4:00. At 4:50, the delivery truck pulled up in front of my house. ... Zuly: Hello. Danny: Hi! Were from Reliable Furniture. Were here to deliver yo
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Ray: I have a great idea for your next vacation. You should go on a singles cruise . Samantha: Im not going on a singles cruise. Everybody will be on the make . Ray: Thats the point, isnt it? You can take your pick of single guys. What could be bette
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Liza: Isnt Jesse wonderful? Im so glad you got to meet him last night. Sinobu: Uh, hes a little young for you, dont you think? I know youve had boy toys in the past, but he takes the cake . Liza: Hes no boy toy! Its true that theres a 30-year age dif
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I was working in the lab , as usual, when my colleague brought his three-year-old son into work. ... Tony: Hi, Gale. This is my son, Philippe. There was a problem with his daycare today, so hell be spending the day here with me. Ill teach him all abo
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Erin: So I told Joey that I had no intention of letting him use my car again. Can you believe the nerve of that guy, after what he did? Curran: Thats terrible, but Im going to have to let you go . I have an appointment... Erin: But I didnt tell you w
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Jasinda: Was that your friend Mitch? Thomas: Yeah, he and I had lunch today to talk about some business opportunities. Jasinda: What line of work is he in? Thomas: Well, I guess you could say hes in the import/export business. Jasinda: HmmWhy are you
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Mina: Id better be going. See you later. Oliver: It might be awhile before we run into each other again. Mina: Why is that? Oliver: Im going to Puerto Rico for three months starting next Tuesday. I got a job there for the summer. Mina: I didnt know t
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Alice: Ooh, look at these! Dont I look great? Ive always wanted sunglasses like these. Pierre: Youre supposed to be here helping me pick out frames for my new bifocals . Alice: I dont know why you wont get progressives . Thats what everybody is getti
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Lyla: Okay, here's a hypothetical . You ask a girl for her number , but wait two weeks to call her. What gives ? George: Well, that depends . Why? Lyla: Well, I met this guy two weeks ago at a party. We spent the entire evening talking and I thought
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Steve: Im finally home and Im hungry . Whats for dinner? Brandy: Im making a new dish . I think youre really going to like it. Steve: Oh, good. Bring it on . Brandy: Well, I miscalculated the cooking time a little and its going to take longer than I
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Chiu: Come on, slowpoke , hurry up ! Well never get to the top of the hill if you dont get a move on . Sarah: Theres no way youre going to get me to move at breakneck speed. Ive gone up at least 500 steps already, and my legs are about to fall off. T
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