英语小达人 331 Differences Between Men and Women

 　　Differences Between Men and Women

　　男女间的差异
　　Bathrooms
　　盥洗室里
　　A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from a Holiday Inn.
　　一个男人通常只在盥洗室里放6件东西：牙刷、牙膏、剃须乳液、刮胡刀、香皂和一条从假日饭店拿回来的毛巾。
　　The average number of items in a typical American women's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
　　一个美国女人放在盥洗室里的东西的件数平均为437件，其中大多数的东西男人们都不知道是用来做什么的。
　　Going out
　　出门时
　　When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out.
　　一个男人说他已经准备好要出去时，这就意味着他确实是准备好要出去了。
　　When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready, as soon as she finds her other earring 1, makes one phone call and finishes putting on her makeup 2.
　　一个女人说她准备好要出去时，意味着她将要准备好。她还要找另一只耳环带上，还要打一个电话，还要化好妆。
　　Cats
　　对待猫的态度
　　Women loves cats.
　　女人爱猫。
　　Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men abuse cats.
　　男人声称他们爱猫，但是女人不注意时，他们会虐待猫。
　　Shoes
　　关于穿鞋这件事
　　When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip in Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Sacks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.
　　去上班时，女人会穿上名牌毛料套装，然后踩双锐步的运动鞋。她们把正装鞋放在塑料袋里。到了单位，女人换上正装鞋。5分钟以后，她们又会把鞋子踢掉，因为脚在桌子下面，没人看到。
　　A man will wear one pair of shoes for the entire day.
　　男人一整天都穿着同一双鞋子。
　　Nicknames
　　绰号的使用
　　If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.
　　格洛里亚、苏珊娜、黛布拉和米歇尔一块儿出去吃饭时，她们会称呼各自的名字。
　　But if Mike, Phil and Jack 3 go out for a brew 4, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Peanut-Head and Useless.
　　迈克、菲尔和杰克一块儿出去喝一杯时，他们会无比亲热地叫各自的绰号：胖小子、木瓜脑袋和笨蛋。
　　Eating out
　　吃饭付账时
　　And when the check comes, Mike, Phil and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
　　侍者送来账单时，虽然饭钱只要22块5毛，迈克、菲尔和杰克却会每个人掏出20块钱来。他们谁都没有零钱，而且每个人都不要找钱。
　　When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.
　　而姑娘们拿到账单时，会同时拿出小计算器。
　　Groceries
　　去采购时
　　A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things.
　　女人们出去采购前会列出一张所需购买物品的清单，然后去商店把它们买回来。
　　A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda 5. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout 6 counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-of-less lane.
　　男人们要等到冰箱里只剩下半只酸橙和一瓶苏打水时，才会想起去商店。他们会把看起来不错的东西都买下。到收款台时，他的购物车上已经堆得满满当当了，当然，这也并不妨碍他去10件以下商品的快速通道交款。
　　Mirrors
　　镜子的使用
　　Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror.
　　男人是爱美的，他们会在镜子前检视自己。
　　Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface, mirrors, spoons, store window and toasters.
　　女人们是荒唐的，她们会从一切发亮的物体表面，镜子、勺子、商店橱窗甚至烤箱表面，检视自己。
　　The Telephone
　　关于电话
　　Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
　　男人们认为电话就是联系工具，他们利用电话给他人传递简短的信息。
　　A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
　　而一个女人却有可能在和女朋友一起待了两个星期后的回家路上打电话给这个女朋友，再聊上3个小时。
　　Directions
　　找不到方向时
　　If a woman is out driving, and she finds herself in unfamiliar 7 surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions.
　　一个女人开车外出时，当她来到一处不熟悉的地方时，她会找一个加油站问路。
　　Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there." and, "I know I'm in the general neighborhood. I recognize that store."
　　男人们认为这是软弱无能的表现。他们决不会停下来问路，而是长时间地在附近兜圈子，并且不断地对自己说：“看来我找到了一条新路。”或是“我知道我就在附近了，我认得那家商店。”
　　Dressing 8 up
　　盛装的场合
　　A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
　　女人会精心打扮了去：逛街、浇花、倒垃圾、接电话、读书、收邮件。
　　A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
　　男人会盛装出席：婚礼和葬礼。
　　Trips
　　关于旅行
　　If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice.
　　一个男人出去旅行七天，他会带五身衣服，然后把其中几件穿两次。
　　If a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits 9 because she doesn't know what she'll feellike wearing each day.
　　一个女人出去旅行七天，她会带上二十一套衣服，因为她不知道自己第二天会想穿什么。
　　Toys
　　对待玩具的态度
　　Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.
　　小女孩们喜欢玩儿玩具。等她们长到十一二岁时，就会对玩具失去兴趣。
　　Men never grow out of their obsession 10 with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and impractical 11.
　　男人们永远钟情于玩具，只是随着年龄的增长，他们的玩具变得越来越贵且无用。
　　Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, small robots that serve cocktails 12 on command, video games, anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 batteries to operate.
　　男人们的玩具如下：掌上电视、车载电话、复杂的榨汁机和搅拌器、能按指令送上鸡尾酒的小机器人、电视游戏。总之一切会发光的、发声的或是至少需要六节电池才能用的东西都会成为男人们的玩具。
　　Women never understand why men love toys.
　　女人永远不会理解男人为什么喜欢玩具。
　　Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.
　　男人们明白如果女人身上也有开关键的话，他们也就不需要那些东西了。
　　Offspring
　　对待孩子
　　Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
　　噢，孩子们。女人了解孩子们的方方面面，包括牙医的预约时间、足球赛、恋爱经过、最好的朋友、最爱吃的东西、内心的恐惧、希望和梦想等等等等。
　　A man is vaguely 13 aware of some short people living in the house.
　　男人只是模模糊糊地知道家里有个小人。
　　Plants
　　植物的命运
　　A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants.
　　女人在出去度假时要男人帮忙给植物浇水。男人照做了。
　　The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.
　　五六天后，女人回来发现满屋子的植物都死了。没人知道是怎么回事。
　　Mustaches
　　关于胡子
　　Some men look good with mustaches.
　　有些男人留起胡子来会很好看。
　　There are no women who look good with mustaches.
　　没有女人留胡子会好看。
　　Cameras
　　相机的使用
　　Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $8000 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes.
　　男人对待摄影的态度是非常严肃认真的。他们会花上八千块钱买高档的设备、建专门的暗室，还报班学习摄影技术。
　　Women purchase Kodak Instamatics.
　　女人买柯达的傻瓜机。
　　Of course women always end up taking better pictures.
　　当然最终是女人照出来的相片比较好。
　　Locker 14 Rooms
　　衣帽间里的谈话
　　In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate storeis about women.
　　男人们聚在一起谈三件事：钱、足球和女人。说起钱来，他们夸大其实；说起足球，他们自以为是，其实不懂；他们编造关于女人的故事。
　　Women talk about one thing in the locker room-sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic 15 and techinical, and they never lie.
　　女人们聚在一起只谈一件事：性。她们还不是泛泛而谈，而是绝对的生动形象，且决不说瞎话。
　　Laundry
　　关于洗衣服这件事
　　Women do the laundry every couple of days.
　　女人每隔几天就洗一次衣服
　　A man will wear every articles of clothing he owns before he will do the laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweat suit inside out and take his mountain of dirty clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat, but this is only a myth perpetuated 16 by old reruns of Love American Style.
　　男人要把所有的衣服都穿遍了才会想到要洗衣服。到他没有衣服穿时，他会把一件脏兮兮满是汗臭的T恤翻过来套在身上，然后把他堆积如山的脏衣服送去洗衣店。男人们总是想在洗衣店碰到漂亮女人，然而这只是长久不衰的美国浪漫故事而已。
　　Politics
　　关于政治
　　Men love to talk politics, but often they forget to do political things such as voting.
　　男人们热衷于谈论政治，可他们经常忘记去参与政治事件，比如选举投票。
　　Women are very happy that another generation of Kennedy's is growing up and getting into politics because they will be able to campaign for them and cry on election night.
　　女人们很高兴肯尼迪家族的新一代已经成长起来，又可以为他们欢呼呐喊、摇旗助威了。
　　Weddings
　　关于结婚
　　When reminiscing about weddings women talk about "the ceremony."
　　回忆起结婚的那段日子，女人说起的是婚礼。
　　Men talk about "the bachelor party."
　　男人说起的是单身聚会。
　　Speeding Tickets
　　超速罚单
　　Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting 17.
　　女人撅撅嘴就可以逃掉超速罚单。
　　This will get men arrested.
　　男人这样做就会给抓起来。