英文笑话：The key to sucess 成功的关键

我是最近订婚的。我问我的姨妈简（她跟姨夫鲍勃结婚已三十四年了），她认为他们长久结合的成功关键是什么。她说：我们尽量不吵架，我们相互尊重对方的隐私。。。 这时姨夫鲍勃打断她说：她白天上班，我晚上上班。

英文笑话：Prize 奖品

Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arm. It's a prize, mother, he explained. A prize? What for, dear? For natural history. Teacher asked me how many legs an ostrich has, and I said three. But an ostrich has only two legs. I

英文笑话：I don't know her 我还不认识她

一对夫妇在公园里散步，发现一对年轻的男女坐在一条长凳上，动情地接吻。 你为什么不那么做呢？妻子说。 亲爱的，丈夫回答说，我还不认识那个女子呢!

英文笑话：bedtime prayer 睡前祷告词

Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. Please God, she said, Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy. Her mother interrupted and said, Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy? And Juli

英文笑话：No Problem 没问题

A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.

英文笑话：patience 你干嘛不自己亲自钓呢

垂钓者：你已经盯着看了三个小时了，你干嘛不自己亲自钓呢？ 旁观者：我没那耐性。

英文笑话：I'll Carry You Down 我会把您背下去

My 15-year-old son came bounding in from school and found me in bed. Don't you feel well, Mom? he asked with concern. No, I don't， I said. Well, don't you worry about dinner, he reassured me. I'll carry you down to the stove. 我十五岁的儿子连跑带颠

英文笑话：A Thank-you Letter 感谢信

Are you writing a thank-you letter to Grandpa like I told you? Yes, Mum. Your handwriting seems very large. Well, Grandpa's deaf, so I'm writing very loud. 你是在按照我说的给爷爷写信感谢他吗？ 是的，妈妈。 你的字好象写得太大了。 嗯，爷爷的耳朵不好，

英文笑话：Settle Down and Settle Up 一字之差

When my brother, a notorious spender, came home for a visit, he told my father he was going to get married and settle down. Dad said, Why don't you stay single and settle up. 我的哥哥是个有名的挥霍者。他回家来时，告诉父亲说他要结婚了，要安定下来。父

英文笑话：I'll Change My Name 我会改一个名字

At the age of 16, Edely decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father was appalled, A son of mine on the stage? It's a disgrace! he wailed. What if the neighbors find out? I'll change my name, the comic-to-be volunteered. Change your

英文笑话：You Will Save Much More 你会省得更多

You will be pleased with me today, mother, said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it. Well, said his mother laughing, Next time you should run after a taxi, you will

英文笑话:Who's Afraid Now? 是谁害怕？

A neighbor told us about a trip he took with his two-and-a-half -year-old son. It was the first time the father and the boy had been away by themselves. The first night they spent in a hotel, the father moved his bed close to the boy's and when they

英文笑话:I Hope So 我希望如此

Neighbor: Do you think your son will forget all he learned at college? Father: I hope so. He certainly can't make a living by kissing girls! 邻居：您认为您的儿子会把在大学里学的东西全忘光吗？ 父亲：我希望这样--他当然

英文笑话：Is Ink So Expensive? 墨水很贵吗？

Son: Is ink so very expensive, father? Father: Why, son, what makes you think so? Son: W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet. 儿子：爸爸，墨水很贵吗？ 父亲：不贵呀，你为什么这么想？ 儿子：哦，我把墨水洒了一点在

英文笑话：drunk “醉”字是什么意思？

一天，父亲和小儿子一道回家，这孩子正处于那种对什么事都感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：爸爸，醉字是什么意思？ 唔，孩子，父亲回答说，你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成四个，那么我就算醉了。 可是，爸爸，孩子说，那儿只有一个警察呀

英文笑话：It's Not My Fault 这不是我的过错

Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Victor? You're the worst pupil in your class. Said the father. What's that got to do with me? Is it my fault that the worst one was yesterday transferred to another school? was the answer. 维克多，你是班里最差的学生。