乔布斯传 第46期:探寻(3)

 To Jobs, this seemed preferable to talk therapy because it involved intuitive feeling and emotional action rather than just rational analyzing 1.

在乔布斯看来，这一疗法比谈话疗法要好，因为这其中包含了直观的感受和情感上的活动，而不仅仅只是理性的分析。
"This was not something to think about," he later said.
“这种疗法不需要你去思考，”他后来说，
"This was something to do: to close your eyes, hold your breath, jump in, and come out the other end more insightful."
“而需要你去行闭上眼睛，屏住呼吸，全身心投入其中，这之后你就会获得更深刻的见解。”
A group of Janov's adherents 2 ran a program called the Oregon Feeling Center in an old hotel in Eugene
一群亚诺夫的信徒在尤金市的一座老旧酒店里经营着一家名为“俄勒閃感觉中心”的机构，
that was managed by Jobs's Reed College guru Robert Friedland, whose All One Farm commune was nearby.
而负责管理的正是乔布斯在里德学院的精神导师罗伯特·弗里德兰，他的团结农场就在附近。
In late 1974, Jobs signed up for a twelve-week course of therapy there costing $1,000.
1974年底，乔布斯报名参加了那里一个为期12周的治疗，花费了1000美元。
"Steve and I were both into personal growth, so I wanted to go with him," Kottke recounted,
“史蒂夫和我都在追求个人成长，所以我想和他一起参加，”科特基说，
"but I couldn't afford it."
“但是我没有那么多钱。”
Jobs confided 3 to close friends that he was driven by the pain he was feeling about being put up for adoption 4 and not knowing about his birth parents.
乔布斯曾经向自己的密友透露过，他参加治疗是因为饱受童年痛苦：被领养并且对亲生父母毫无所知。
"Steve had a very profound desire to know his physical parents so he could better know himself," Friedland later said.
“史蒂夫非常渴望了解自己的亲生父母，这样他就可以更好地认识自己。”弗里德兰后来说。
He had learned from Paul and Clara Jobs that his birth parents had both been graduate students at a university and that his father might be Syrian.
乔布斯曾经从养父母那里听说过，自己的亲生父母都是大学毕业生，父亲可能是叙利亚人。
He had even thought about hiring a private investigator 5, but he decided 6 not to do so for the time being.
他甚至曾经想要雇用一名私家侦探，但还是决定暂时不那么做。
"I didn't want to hurt my parents," he recalled, referring to Paul and Clara.
“我不想伤害我的父母。”他回忆说，这里指的是他的养父母。
"He was struggling with the fact that he had been adopted," according to Elizabeth Holmes.
“自己被领养这一事实让他很挣扎，”伊丽莎白·霍姆斯说，
"He felt that it was an issue that he needed to get hold of emotionally." Jobs admitted as much to her.
“他觉得这是自己在情感上需要控制的一个问题。”乔布斯承认了这些，他说：
"This is something that is bothering me, and I need to focus on it," he said.
“这件事一直困扰着我，我要把精力集中在这上面。”
He was even more open with Greg Calhoun.
他对格雷格·卡尔霍恩更加坦诚。
"He was doing a lot of soul-searching about being adopted, and he talked about it with me a lot," Calhoun recalled.
“对于被领养一事，.他作了很多自我剖析，也跟我说了很多，”卡尔霍恩说道，
"The primal 7 scream and the mucusless diets, he was trying to cleanse 8 himself and get deeper into his frustration 9 about his birth.
“原始尖叫疗法和非黏液饮食，都是他用来净化自己的方法，并希望借此来洞彻其身世带给他的沮丧。
He told me he was deeply angry about the fact that he had been given up."
他告诉我，他的父母握弃了他，他感到非常愤怒。”
John Lennon had undergone the same primal scream therapy in 1970,
约翰·列侬（John Lernioii)在1970年也接受了同样的原始尖叫疗法，
and in December of that year he released the song "Mother" with the Plastic Ono Band.
那年的12月，他和塑胶洋子乐队（Plastic Ono Band)发布了歌曲《妈妈》。
It dealt with Lennon's own feelings about a father who had abandoned him and a mother who had been killed when he was a teenager.
这首歌描述的是列侬对于一个抛弃了自己的父亲以及一个在他少年时期就死去的母亲的感情。
The refrain includes the haunting chant "Mama don't go, Daddy come home."
副歌部分有一段让人无法忘怀的旋律：“妈妈不要走，爸爸快回家……”
Jobs used to play the song often.
霍姆斯记得乔布斯经常放这首歌。
重点讲解：
1.rather than
而不是；宁愿；与其
例句：He said he would be poor rather than get money in such a way.
他说他宁愿穷也不愿用这种方式获得钱财。
2.held one's breath
屏住呼吸；憋住气；屏住气
例句：The audience held their breaths at the thrilling story.
观众听着惊险故事都屏住了呼吸。
3.sign up
注册；报名；签约
例句：Her parents urged her to sign up for a computer course.
父母督促她报名参加计算机课程。
4.driven by the pain
饱受痛苦
例句：He was driven crazy by the extremity 10 of pain.
极度的痛苦使他发狂。
5.desire to do
渴望做某事
例句：You cannot think for long once you enter here and there is no need or desire to do so.
一旦你进入这里，你就无法长时间思考，也没有必要和欲望这么做。
6.get hold of
掌握；得到；拿到
例句：They do not need especially clever technology: governments go increasingly after dominant 11 online firms because they are easy to get hold of.
它们不需特别先进的技术：各政府日益关注占主导地位的网络公司，因为这些网络公司容易控制。