【荆棘鸟】第五章 14

I've sent Frank away, and Fee will never forgive me."
"You can't tell her, Paddy. No, you mustn't tell her, ever. Just tell her Frank ran away with the boxers 1 and leave it at that. She knows how restless Frank's been; she'll believe you."
"I couldn't do that, Father!" Paddy was aghast. "You've got to, Paddy. Hasn't she known enough pain and misery 2? Don't heap more on her head." And to himself he thought: Who knows? Maybe she'll learn to give the love she has for Frank to you at last, to you and the little thing upstairs.
"You really think that, Father?"
"I do. What happened tonight must go no further."
"But what about Meggie? She heard it all."
"Don't worry about Meggie, I'll take care of her. I don't think she understood more of what went on than that you and Frank quarreled. I'll make her see that with Frank gone, to tell her mother of the quarrel would only be an additional grief. Besides, I have a feeling Meggie doesn't tell her mother much to begin with." He got up. "Go to bed, Paddy. You've got to seem normal and dance attendance on Mary tomorrow, remember?" Meggie was not asleep; she was lying with eyes wide in the dim light of the little lamp beside her bed. The priest sat down beside her and noticed her hair still in its braids. Carefully he untied 3 the navy ribbons and pulled gently until the hair lay in a rippling 4, molten sheet across the pillow. "Frank has gone away, Meggie," he said.
"I know, Father."
"Do you know why, darting 5?"
"He had a fight with Daddy."
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to go with Frank. He needs me."
"You can't, my Meggie."
"Yes, I can. I was going to find him tonight, but my legs wouldn't hold me up, and I don't like the dark. But in the morning I'll look for him." "No, Meggie, you mustn't. You see, Frank's got his own life to lead, and it's time he went away. I know you don't want him to go away, but he's been wanting to go for a long time. You mustn't be selfish; you've got to let him live his own life." The monotony of repetition, he thought, keep on drumming it in. "When we grow up it's natural and right for us to want a life away from the home we grew up in, and Frank is a grown man. He ought to have his own home now, his own wife and family. 
 

我把弗兰克赶走了，菲永远不会宽恕我的。"
　　"你不能跟她说，帕迪。不，你千万别告诉她。就跟她说弗兰克跟拳击手们跑了，就这样说。她清楚弗兰克一直不安分；她会相信你的。"
　　"我不能那样做，神父！"帕迪惊呆了。
　　"你必须这样做，帕迪。她经历的辛酸苦难还少吗？别再给她加码了。"他心里却在想：谁知道呢？也许她终将学会把对弗兰克的爱给予你，给予你和楼上的那个小东西。
　　"你真这么想吗，神父？"
　　"是的。已经发生的事不能再继续下去了。"
　　"可梅吉怎么办？她全听见了。"
　　"别担心梅吉，我会照料她的。我想，她除了明白你和弗兰克吵了架，别的什么都不会明白的。我会让她明白，既然弗兰克跑了，再把吵架的事告诉她母亲，只能往增悲伤。此外，我有个感觉：梅吉不会先对她母亲多说什么的。"他站起身来。"去睡吧，帕迪。你明天参加玛丽的舞会时。得显得若无其事，记住了吗？"
　　梅吉没有睡着；床边的小灯闪着昏暗的光，她睁着眼睛躺在那里。教士坐在她的身边。注视着她发辫上一动不动的毛发。他仔细地解开蓝缎带。轻轻地拉着，直到头发散落地枕头和床单上。
　　"弗兰克走了，梅吉。"他说。
　　"我知道，神父。"
　　"你知道为什么吗，亲爱的？"
　　"他和爸干了一架。"
　　"你打算怎么力？"
　　"我要和弗兰克一起走。他需要我。"
　　"你不能走，我的梅吉。"
　　"不，我能走。我本打算今晚就去找他的，可我的腿发软，我也不喜欢黑夜。但一大早我会去找他的。"
　　"不，你千万别这样做。你知道，弗兰克得有自己的生活，他到了该走的时候了。我知道你不希望他走，但他很久以来就想走了。你千万别自私；你得让他过自己的生活。"千篇一律的重复，他想，要继续把这种观点灌输给她。"我们一旦长大成人，自然就有权利希望离开自己生长的家，到外面谋生活；弗兰克是个成年人了、现在他应该有他自己的家、自己的妻子和家庭。