成长的烦恼第二季:The Long Goodbye

Ben: Tick tick tick tick. Hi this is sixty minutes. But it won't take that long.
Hi, I’m Ben seaver, and welcome to my class project. A day in the life of the Seavers. And
what a day it is. It’s chore day and everybody has a job to do. Mrs. Seaver and Carol are
going to clean the drapes, and Doctor seaver's using carols computor to write some article for
some mental magazine. Oh yeah, he's a psychiatrist 1. And Mike's gotta paint his room, or dads
gonna know the reason why. I don't even care what grade I get on this. I just want to do A
good job for you Mrs. Cutter.
Jenny: Ben, you were supposed to mention me.
Ben: Ok, ok. Jenny Foster, another one of your fine students, is helping 2 me by running the
video camera.
Jenny: Hi Mrs. Cutter.
Ben: Well, one thing you're...one thing you are going to notice about the Seavers, is how well
we get along.
Maggie: Come on Jason:.
Jason: Maggie, threes a difference between frugal 3 and cheap.
Maggie: Ok, I take it back. You're a frugal-skate.
Jason: Well, I don't see what’s wrong with going with the old, reliable, inexpensive handy man
we've always used for years.
Maggie: Honey, a furnace is not a broken screen door. It's a complicated piece of machinery 4.
Jason: Well, I think jimmy can handle it. And did I mention he works cheap?
Maggie: Would you hire him to perform open heart surgery?
Jason: Well I’d let him give me an estimate.
Maggie: Ben, Jenny, not now, please.
Ben: Keep rolling, this could be good.
Maggie: Honey, you know I love dear sweet jimmy as much as you and the kids do.
Jason: of course. So why not destroy the man's dignity?
Maggie: Ha!
Ben: It may look like they're arguing, but they are not. They call this discussing.
Maggie: Ben, I told you to turn that off.
Jason: No, keep rolling Ben. This could be great stuff.
Maggie: Ben I am not going to ask you again.
Ben: Uh oh! It looks like I have been invited to participate in this discussion.
(door bell)
Ben: Start rolling. Come on.
Mike: I got it, I got it, I got it! Boner I told you not to ring..Yo Jimmy!
jimmy: Yo Mike!
Mike: Ehh.
Jimmy: Alright, let em see it.
Mike: Oh right.
Jimmy: Not bad. Now give me your best punch, right here.
Mike: No, no I can't.
Jimmy: Come on.
Mike: No really. I can't.
Jimmy: Wimp 5!
Mike: Hey come on Jimmy.
Jimmy: Weenie! Come on. (mike punches him) Ohh!
Mike: Jimmy I’m sorry. Are you ok? Look, I’m sorry.
Jimmy: It's alright. I'm perfectly 6 alright. Never been better.
Maggie: Jimmy!
Jimmy: Mrs. Weaver 7. Pretty as ever.
Maggie: Are you alright?
Jimmy: Yes, I’m I’m great. Oh! Just a minute. That pretty young there couldn’t be..
Carol: Yep, it's me.
Jimmy: Karen.
Carol: Carol.
Jason: Jimmy you son of a gun.
Jimmy: Oh, how’s my favourite medicine man?
Jason: How’s my favourite handy man?
Jimmy: Oh, I’ve been missing you folks. I'm glad you called me.
Jason: Well it was Maggie’s idea. She insisted.
Jimmy: Well, I understand you have a sick furnace?
Jason: Well it goes on but it won’t stay on.
Jimmy: Oh oh oh, well, let me take a look.
Maggie: Jimmy, the furnace is in the basement. That way.
Jimmy: Yes, but me tools is in me truck. That way.
Maggie: Oh, right.
Ben: It looks like the furnace could be the big story today at the Seavers. And of course Mrs.
Cutter, you can count on me to be there.
Maggie: Did you see how shaky he was?
Jason: No.
Maggie: When I walked in the room he was wheezing 8, he couldn't catch his breath.
Mike: Oh that’s cos I punched him in the stomach.
Maggie: Oh fine! You men just stick together.
Jason: I believe you have a bedroom to paint.
Mike: Hey, I’m well ahead of you dad.
Jason: Ok, you know the rules. Nobody comes over until it’s done.
Mike: Hey, you know me.
Jason: Yes I sure do. And in spite of that, I still expect that room painted buy tonight.
Mike: No problem. You got it.
Boner: Mikey!
Mike: Hey boner.
Boner: So what’s the big surprise?
Mike: I'll tell you upstairs. ok.
Boner: Something great aint it?
Mike: Bone, you have no idea.
Boner: I never do.
Jason: Don't worry. He'll be down in a second. Oh, you think he's too old, don't you?
Come on, just say it.
Maggie: Honey, some people just don't know when to hang it up. Like Mohammed Ali.
Jason: Pardon me.
Maggie: Well for years he was the greatest, and now he's killing 9 roaches on TV.
I overheard some sports reporters in the cafeteria.
Jason: Oh!
Maggie: Honey, there was a day when Jimmy could handle something as complicated as a
furnace, but now I’m afraid he's lost his fast ball.
Jason: How much time do you spend with these sports guys?
Jimmy: Ok, let’s get this show on the road. Time is money. My time, your money. Oh, sounds
like there is not a moment to lose.
Jason: You know what it is?
Jimmy: Sure. You've been trying to heat the house with the washing machine. It’s a joke. A
little handy man humour. Hello, Ah ah, yeah! Sticky solenoids. A little lubrication and she'll be
fine.
Jason: Perfect. Right Maggie.
Maggie: Yeah. Thank you jimmy.
Jimmy: I'll send you a bill.
Jason: Jimmy, what about the furnace?
Jimmy: Oh, we having trouble with that too are you?
Mike: And you know, the beauty of it is Bone, there’s nothing better than painting for building
up your chest. Which frankly 10 you could use.
Boner: You really think so?
Mike: Yeah sure. And did you know that Arnold Schwarzenegger started out as a painter?
Boner: Yeah!
Mike: You did? Well I’m having the time of my life over here Bone.
Boner: It looks like fun.
Mike: And if you think I’m going to let you do any part of it, you might as well just split right
now.OK?
Boner: Really?
Mike: Yeah, not even if you got down on your knees and begged me to.
Boner: Is that a way to treat you buddy 11?
Mike: Oh, you know. You're right buddy. Here, you give it a shot.
Boner: Great. No, I can't. I can't do it.
Mike: What?
Boner: I can't do it knowing how much it means to you mike.
Mike: Boner, get out , just go. Alright! Leave, I’ve got stuff to do here.
Boner: Mike, do you want me to paint your room for you?
Mike: Yes I do.
Boner: Then why didn't you just ask in the first place?
Mike: Because, Boner, I didn't think anyone was that gullible 12.
Boner: Well next time, give me some credit. Hu.
Jason: But, Claustrophobia can be a symptom of another disorder 13 that ..needs..you don't have
to say a thing, I can read your mind.
Alright, so what if he forgot why he was in the basement. He did fix the washer. Alright, so he
forgot a few names. Big deal. I do that myself sometimes. Especially the tall kid. What’s his
name. Alright, I’ll keep an eye on Jimmy.
Maggie: Thank you dear.
Jason: But this constant nagging 14 has got to stop.
Ben: Here we are, back in the living room, where we are going to see Mrs. Seaver and the
seaver girl, caught in the act of being themselves. If it’s ok.
Maggie: Sure pumpkin 15.
Jenny: Pumpkin?
Ben: We'll edit that out.
Carol: If this makes me look fat, you can't use it.
Ben: Play it safe Jenny. Keep her out of the shot.
Jenny: Ben, I got to be straight with you. I've been on this project since eight o clock this
morning, and nothing has happened.
Ben: What are you trying to say?
Jenny: Two words. Bore ing.
Ben: Are you calling my family boring?
Jenny: Well ..
Ben: If you put my family on TV every week, I bet millions of people would watch.
Jenny: Yeah Ben. Right!
Ben: Let’s go interview Jimmy.
Jenny: We already did.
Ben: Let’s go do it again. He won't remember.
Maggie: Ben, that is no way to talk about Jimmy.
Ben: I'm sorry.
Maggie: Even if it is true.
Jimmy: Of course, back then, this entire neighbourhood was nothing but apple orchards 16. Or
was it pears? Well it was fruit anyway, because in fall I kept stepping on them.
Ben: How did you become a handy man?
Jimmy: Well, you see, I have lived on this earth many times before.
Ben: Yeah?
Jimmy: You bet ya. And in each life, I was a handy man.
Ben: Really?
Jimmy: Oh, I remember the time when those Chinese fellows asked me to supervise the
building of the Great Wall.
Ben: You mean the Great Wall?
Jimmy: Sure, after I got on with it.
Ben: I don't get it.
Jimmy: well maybe you are a little too young yet.
Ben: Some people think I’m too young to do anything.
Jimmy: Oh, would you know. Some folks think I’m too old to do anything.
Ben: So we've got something in common.
Jimmy: Yeah. Makes me mad when that happens. How about you?
Ben: Me too.
Jimmy: But what do you do about it?
Ben: I throw a fit and hold my breath until I turn blue.
Jimmy: same here.
Carol: Well at least the drapes are clean.
Maggie: Uh huh.
Carol: Mum, who came up with the idea of Seaver chore day?
Maggie: Your dad. You know that.
Carol: Well, don't you find it interesting that the founder 17 of chore day is not doing an actual
chore? Instead he's writing an article that he put off until chore day.
Maggie: You know you're absolutely right. So guess where we're going to be next chore day?
Carol: Where?
Maggie: Bloomingdales.
Jimmy: What did you do?
Maggie: Jason! Are you hurt?
Jimmy: Sorry about that. Won't happen again.
Maggie: Jason, it was right of you to give Jimmy a chance, but isn't it pretty clear now that
he's not up to it?
Jason: Alright, first, why don't we find out what happened?
Carol: What happened! Three hours of boring hard work were ruined. Work that we've been
doing all day long, while some people were ducking out in theory office. Huh!
Jimmy: With that Mikey, I’m out of here. Would you look at me.
Mike: Come on boner. I've seen you show up to school looking dirtier than that.
Carol: Mike, what’s boner doing here on chore day?
Mike: Carol! You know, as usual, that's an excellent question, and I’m very glad you asked.
Jason: Not now Mike. We've got bigger fish to fry.
Boner: You know, I’ll stay if I can get in on this fish fry with you.
Mike: Done my friend.'
Boner: Alright!
Carol: You know dad, I have to agree with mum. Jimmy should go. This is not a matter of
friendship. It’s a matter of incompetence 18.
Jason: You know I can't believe you're turning on Jimmy too. He's our pal 19. And another thing.
All this talk about getting rid of a person, a human being, just because they're incompetent 20.
That could be very upsetting to mike.
Jason: Now Jimmy, I know that you’re working under a lot of pressure here, and surely don't
want to interfere 21..
Maggie: But what the hell happened just now?
Jason: Yeah!
Jimmy: I wish I could say doc. It was just one of those things that we handy men call a
mistake.
Maggie: That’s what I call it. What a coin kee dink.
Jimmy: I just hope it didn't cause too much mess up there?
Maggie: Well as a matter of fact Jimmy..
Jason: We'll live Jimmy. Won't we honey?
Maggie: Oh yes. Yes. Someonhow.
Jason: Are we any closer to solving the problem jimmy?
Jimmy: Well you may have a small pressure leak in your system. Would you believe it, I have
a gauge 22 in me truck that will tell the tale.
Jason: You heard him. It's just what handy men call 'a mistake'.
Maggie: Honey, you know how when we disagree, and then later we find out that I was right,
how you always get defensive 23..
Jason: I'm not defensive. And when you think about it, I don't think threes one shred 24 of
evidence e that he’s incompetent.
Maggie: I believe that exhibit’s a heading your way. Honey, sooner or later, you are going to
face the facts about Jimmy.
Jason: Well I say a man’s entitled to keep his dignity until he proves he doesn't deserve it.
Maggie: And I love you for it.
Jason: Where are you going?
Maggie: Oh, I just thought I’d browse 25 through our home owner’s insurance coverage 26.
Jason: Et two matey!
Mike: Boner my friend. Welcome to the eighties. Now this is going to make your life a lot more
fun.
Boner: Can I take it home with me?
Mike: We're painting.
Boner: Oh.
Mike: You know Bone. See I feel real bad about the hard work that you've been doing. But I
would like to get this room painted today. Alright? Now watch me. All you do is you point the
electric sprayer at the area to be covered, gently squeeze the trigger..and voila. You got it?
Boner: Mike, even a goon could do this.
Mike: That’s what I’m counting on.
Boner: Nice.
Jason: Which explains hwy claustrophobia conventions are so poorly attended.
Maggie: If you don't want an argument, don't read my mind.
Jason: Poorly attended, poorly attended.
Maggie, could you leave my shades for just a few minutes? Please. I’ve got to get this done
today, I’m on the very last page. Ah no.
Maggie: Does that mean you've lost everything?
Jason: I don't know yet. Carols the computer expert.
Carol: Power is out all over the house.
Jason: Does that mean I’ve lost all twenty eight pages.
Carol: No.
Jason: Oh good.
Carol: You were saving the pages as you went along. Right?
Jason: Saving pages?
Jimmy: Hope that didn't take anyone out there by surprise? I'll get power back in a sec. I'm
sorry.
Jason: Was that Jimmy?
Maggie: It wasn't Shirley McLain.
Boner: Mikey. All I know is that I heard a voice say 'I’m sorry' and it sounded like god.
Mike: No no. Jimmy!
Boner: You call him Jimmy?
Mike: What did you do to this thing?
Boner: I don't know. Maybe the nozzle was clogged 27.
Mike: it’s definitely not clogged.
Ben: Dad the TV went off, but its back on now.
Jason: We know Ben.
Ben: And I had nothing to do with it.
Maggie: We know Ben.
Jason: Well how do you go and tell a member of the family to get out?
Ben: I told you it wasn't my fault.
Jason: They know Ben.
Maggie: Honey if you can’t bear to do this then I will.
Carol: I've got it. We'll sell the house and move.
Jason: I wish it were that simple.
Mike: Alright. I want some answers and I want them now.
Boner: Yeah. What in the name of Jimmy is going on around here?
Oh, excuse my language.
Carol: What happened to you guys?
Mike: Now I’ll ask the questions around here. Now what is going on in this house?
Jason: Well I’m trying to find a way to break a dear old mans heart. That’s what.
Maggie: I know how much this hurts you dad.
Carol: Well he was the only one how kept believing in Jimmy.
Boner: Oh I still believe in Jimmy.
Carol: Boner please!
Boner: What what what? Since when did all of you turn into atheists. hu?
Jason: Hey Jimmy, we've got to talk now. Se..
Jimmy: Hey doc. If it can wait, I really have to concentrate here.
Jason: Sure. No, it can't Jimmy. I don't think so.
Jimmy: Ok. What's up.
Jason: Jimmy, come on. You're a sports fan right?
Jimmy: Sure.
Jason: Let’s talk about Mohammed Ali.
Jimmy: Oh. Cassius Clay. He was the greatest.
Jason: Yeah. But remember when everyone thought that he should hang it up.
Jimmy: But, he didn't listen.
Jason: Exactly.
Jimmy: So he became the only man to win the heavy weight championship of the
world...three times.
Jason: Well I was talking about later.
Jimmy: Oh sure. People gave up on the man. People who should have known better.
Jason: Well Mohammed Ali is a bad example here.
Jimmy: Of what?
Jason: I don't know. Give me a minute, I’ll think of it.
Jason: Losing your train of thought , hey? Well it happens. As you get older.
Maggie: Poor Jason. Poor Jimmy.
Mike: Boner don't worry. When I’m done with these, it'll be as good as new. Mum where can
I clean boners clothes?
Maggie: I don't care.
Carol: Boner, you're wearing my bathrobe.
Boner: Oh, I don't mind.
Mike: Yeah, um, can we fit these in the washer?
Carol: well you'll have to wait. All the rugs are in there.
Boner: I think I’ll go get some of that fish.
Maggie: Wait a minute carol. Did you just say that you put all the rugs in the washer at once?
Carol: Well yes. Is that a problem?
Maggie: Yes. The washer would overload 28 and make horrible noises, and jump around and shut
off.
Carol: Sorry.
Maggie: Maybe it wasn't his fault.
Carol: Whose fault?
Maggie: Well what about all the soot 29?
Ben’s video: I throw a fit and hold my breath until I turn blue.
Jason: Hey, look at my camera work!
Ben's video: Jimmy: I got to get back to work.
bens video Ben: Can I help?
Bens video: Jimmy: Oh sure, sure. Take this hose and hook it to the vacuum. Be sure you're
on the intake 30.
Ben: Oh no!
Bens video: Jimmy: No no, the other one.
Ben: I didn't know you taped this part.
Jason: Hey my camera never stops.
Maggie: Ben, let it play.
Mike: Look boner. You're just going to have to trust me. There is no fish here, whatsoever 31.
Ben’s video: Ben: I'm sorry
Ben’s video: Jimmy: That’s alright Bennie, I’ll cover for you. Sorry about that. Won't happen
again.
Ben’s video: Ben: Thanks Jimmy.
Maggie: So it wasn't Jimmy:, it was you?
Ben: Well, I’m going to go to my room now.
Maggie: Sit down Ben.
Carol: You know, that still doesn't explain the power going off.
Maggie: Yeah, jimmy was here to fix a gas furnace, not the electricity.
Boner: Um, I might be out of line here, but in the case of a gas leak, the first thing you do is
shut of the power to check on it.
Maggie: Oh. Oh Jason! Jason wait.
Boner: If there's one thing I know about, its gas.
Maggie: Thank you jimmy and god bless you.
Jason: Yeah jimmy. You have to come over to dinner.
Maggie: Or lunch.
Mike: Mike: Yeah, any day this week.
Maggie: Every day this week.
Jason: Why don't you just move in?
Carol: We love you Jimmy.
Maggie: I want to go inside right now and break something. Would you fix it?
Jimmy: Oh sure, sure. You only have to call me.
Maggie: Ok.
Everyone: Bye jimmy
Jason: see you.
Ben: Well Mrs. Cutter, That’s a day in the life of the Seavers, and I hope you had fun, cos I
know I sure did. And I learned things too, which you're supposed to do when you do school
junk. But what I leaned today is, you should let old people do stuff, cos they know a whole lot.
Like my dad said: it’s a good thing we didn't give up on jimmy, cos we would have lost a good
handy man, and a good friend. well, that’s it for me and Jenny. This video could have been a
whole lot better, but remember, I’m just a kid. Bye Mrs. Cutter.
Jason: Bye Mrs. Cutter.
Jason: Mike!
Mike: Yeah, I’ll be through in one second dad.
Jason: Hey Mike. Dinner.