【荆棘鸟】第六章 23

因为他受过神学院的严格教育，这套特殊把戏，他根本不放在眼里。但是，那些姑娘们决不会讲述那些会使她们降低身份的秘事。
　　拉尔夫·德·布里克萨特神父竭力想阻止一股热潮在自己的皮肤下弥散开去，但是他办不到；他坐在那里，用手挡着的脸扭到一边去了，心里为他头一次脸红而感到羞愧。
　　但是，这样帮不了他的梅吉。当他确信他脸上的红潮已经褪下去之后，便站起身，把她抱起来，让她坐在那个大理石座上，使他们面对着面。
　　"梅吉，看着我。不，看着我！"
　　她抬起眼睛，看到他正在微笑着。她心里马上就有底了：要是她快要死了的话，他是不会这样笑的。她知道自己对他来说有多么重要，他是从来不隐瞒这一点的。
　　"梅吉，你不会死。你没有得癌症。我没有责任告诉你这是怎么回事。不过，我想我最好还是告诉你。你妈妈几年前就应该告诉你，让你有所准备的。可是我不明白她为什么没告诉你。"
　　他抬头望着那谜一般的大理石天使，发出了一声奇怪的、压抑的笑声："亲爱的耶稣啊！胡为乎今我做这等事！"随后，便对等在那里的梅吉说道："随着光阴的流逝，当你再长大一些，并且懂得更多世事的时候，也许你会禁不住以窘迫、甚至羞郝的心情来回忆今天的。可是你千万不要那样去回忆今天啊，梅吉。这件事完全谈不上有什么可羞愧、可发窘的。就像我做过的一切事情一样，在这件事上，我就是上帝的一个普普通通的工具。这是我在这块土地上的唯一作用，除此之外我什么都不接受。你感到十分恐惧，需要帮助，而上帝让你来接受我的帮助。仅仅记住这一点就行了，梅吉。我是上帝的教士，我是以他的名义讲话的。
　　"梅吉，你只不过遇上了每一个女人都会遇上的事罢了。每个月中你有几天要流些血，这种情况一般从十二、三岁左右开始发生--你多大了，有这么大吗？"
　　"我15岁了，神父。"
　　"15岁？你？"他摇摇头，对她的话半信半疑。"唔，要是你说已经15岁了的话，我就只好相信你的话了。不过，你比大多数的姑娘要来得晚。
 

for he had been through the rigors 1 of the seminary and that particular lesson was an easy one for a man of his type. But the girls, never, never mentioned that secret activity which set them apart, demeaned them.Try as he would, he could not prevent the scorching 2 tide from diffusing 3 up under his skin; Father Ralph de Bricassart sat with his face turned away behind his hand and writhed 4 through the humiliation 5 of his first blush. But this wasn't helping 6 his Meggie. When he was sure the color had subsided 7 he got to his feet, picked her up and sat her on a flat-topped marble pedestal, where her face and his were level.
"Meggie, look at me. No, look at me!"
She raised hunted eyes and saw that he was smiling; an immeasurable contentment filled her soul at once. He would not smile so if she were dying; she knew very well how much she meant to him, for he had never concealed 8 it.
"Meggie, you're not dying and you haven't got cancer. It isn't my place to tell you what's the matter, but I think I had better. Your mother should have told you years ago, prepared you, and why she didn't is beyond me." He looked up at the inscrutable marble angel above him and gave a peculiar 9, half-strangled laugh. "Dear Jesus! The things Thou givest me to do!" Then, to the waiting Meggie: "In years to come, as you grow older and learn more about the ways of the world, you might be tempted 10 to remember today with embarrassment 11, even shame. But don't remember today like that, Meggie. There's absolutely nothing shameful 12 or embarrassing about it. In this, as in everything I do, I am simply the instrument of Our Lord. It is my only function on this earth; I must admit no other. You were very frightened, you needed help, and Our Lord has sent you that help in my person. Remember that alone, Meggie. I am Our Lord's priest, and I speak in His Name. "You're only doing what all women do, Meggie. Once a month for several days you'll pass blood. It starts usually around twelve or thirteen years of age- how old are you, as much as that?"
"I'm fifteen, Father."
"Fifteen? You?" He shook his head, only half believing her. "Well, if you say you are, I'll have to take your word for it. In which case you're later than most girls.