【荆棘鸟】第三章 12

 尽管她由于没有时间练习，指法早已生疏，除了弹一些最简单的小片段以外，再也弹不出什么别的了。每逢这种时候，他总是坐在窗下的丁香花与百合花前，闭目谛听着。那时，他的眼前便飘起一片梦幻似的情景，恍惚看见他的母亲身穿镶有粉色花边的篷起的长裙，坐在一间宽阔的象牙塔似的屋子里的一架钢琴旁，身边环绕着一根根又长又大的蜡烛。这情景会使他泪落不已。然而，自从警察将他送回家，在谷仓度过了那一夜之后，他再也不掉泪了。

　　梅吉把哈尔放回了摇篮里，走去站在妈妈的身边。这里又一个被耽误了的人。她有同样骄傲的、善感的面影；她那双手，那童稚的躯体，都有几分像菲。当她也成长为一个成年女子的时候，她会很象她妈妈的。谁将要她呢？另一个傻呆呆的爱尔兰剪毛工，或者韦汉那个牛奶场来的乡巴佬吗？那配有更好的命运，可是她生来时运不济，人人都说这是没办法的事；岁岁年年，他活着就好像为了证实这一点。
　　菲和梅吉突然意识到他在目不转睛地注视着她们，她们一齐转过身来，带着女人们只给予她们生命中最热爱的人的温柔冲他微笑着。弗兰克把杯子放到桌子上，走出去喂狗了。他恨不得能哭一场，或者去杀个人，去干能排解这痛苦的任何事情。
　　帕迪丢掉了替艾奇鲍尔德剪羊毛的活儿之后三天，玛丽·卡森的信到了。他在韦汉邮局一拿到信，立刻撕开就看，并随即像个孩子似地蹦跳着回家了。
　　"咱们要到澳大利亚去啦！"他一边高声喊着，一边在瞠目结舌的家人面前挥着那几张贵重的仿羊皮信纸。
　　一阵沉默，所有的眼睛都盯在他身上。菲异常震惊，梅吉也是一样，可是每个男人的眼中都露出了喜悦的神色。弗兰克的两眼在闪闪发光。，
　　"可是，帕迪，过了这么些年她怎么才突然想起了你呢？"菲看完信以后问道。"她不是新近才有钱的，不联系也有很长时间了。我从来也不记得她以前提过要帮我们什么忙啊。"
　　"看来她是怕孤零零地死去，"他说道，既是为了使自己、也是为了使菲更相信这一看法。"你看看她是怎么写的吧：'我已经上了年纪，你和你的孩子们是我的继承人。我想，在我去世之前，我们应该见见面，再说，也到了你们学学怎样管理你们要继承的产业的时候了。我打算让你做我的牧场工头--这是一个锻练的好机会
 

 though her touch had long gone from want of time to practice and she could no longer manage any but the simplest pieces. He would sit beneath the window among the lilacs and the lilies, and close his eyes to listen. There was a sort of vision he had then, of his mother clad in a long bustled 1 gown of palest pink shadow lace sitting at the spinet 2 in a huge ivory room, great branches of candles all around her. It would make him long to weep, but he never wept anymore; not since that night in the barn after the police had brought him home. Meggie had put Hal back in the bassinet, and gone to stand beside her mother. There was another one wasted. The same proud, sensitive profile; something of Fiona about her hands, her child's body. She would be very like her mother when she, too, was a woman. And who would marry her? Another oafish 3 Irish shearer 4, or a clodhopping yokel 5 from some Wahine dairy farm? She was worth more, but she was not born to more. There was no way out, that was what everyone said, and every year longer that he lived seemed to bear it out.
  Suddenly conscious of his fixed 6 regard, Fee and Meggie turned together, smiling at him with the peculiar 7 tenderness women save for the most beloved men in their lives. Frank put his cup on the table and went out to feed the dogs, wishing he could weep, or commit murder. Anything which might banish 8 the pain.
  Three days after Paddy lost the Archibald shed, Mary Carson's letter came. He had opened it in the Wahine post office the moment he collected his mail, and came back to the house skipping like a child. "We're going to Australia!" he yelled, waving the expensive vellum pages under his family's stunned 9 noses.
  There was silence, all eyes riveted 10 on him. Fee's were shocked, so were Meggie's, but every male pair had lit with joy. Frank's blazed. "But, Paddy, why should she think of you so suddenly after all these years?" Fee asked after she had read the letter. "Her money's not new to her, nor is her isolation 11. I never remember her offering to help us before."
  "It seems she's frightened of dying alone," he said, as much to reassure 12 himself as Fee. "You saw what she wrote: "I am not young, and you and your boys are my heirs. I think we ought to see each other before I die, and it's time you learned how to run your inheritance. I have the intention of making you my head stockman-it will be excellent training