【荆棘鸟】第八章 02

 It was after he had this particular letter that Paddy held a conference in the beautiful drawing room on a night when everyone was at home. He sat with his steel-rimmed reading half-glasses perched on his Roman nose, in a big cream chair, his feet comfortably disposed on a matching ottoman, his pipe in a Waterford ashtray 1. “How nice this is.” He smiled, looking around with pleasure. “I think we ought to give Mum a vote of thanks for it, don’t you, boys?” There were murmurs 3 of assent 4 from the “boys”; Fee inclined her head from where she sat in what had been Mary Carson’s wing chair, re-covered now in cream watered silk. Meggie curled her feet around the ottoman she had chosen instead of a chair, and kept her eyes doggedly 5 on the sock she was mending. “Well, Father de Bricassart has sorted everything out and has been very generous,” Paddy continued. “He’s put seven thousand pounds in the bank in my name, and opened a savings 6 account for everyone with two thousand pounds in each. I am to be paid four thousand pounds a year as the station manager, and Bob will be paid three thousand a year as the assistant manager. All the working boys—Jack 7, Hughie and Stu—will be paid two thousand a year, and the little boys are to get one thousand a year each until they’re old enough to decide what they want to do. 
      “When the little boys are grown up, the estate will guarantee each of them a yearly income equal to a full working member of Drogheda, even if they don’t want to work on Drogheda. When Jims and Patsy turn twelve, they’ll be sent to Riverview College in Sydney to board and be educated at the expense of the estate. “Mum is to have two thousand pounds a year for herself, and so is Meggie. The household account will be kept at five thousand pounds, though why Father thinks we need so much to run a house, I don’t know. He says in case we want to make major alterations 8. I have his instructions as to how much Mrs. Smith, Minnie, Cat and Tom are to be paid, and I must say he’s generous. Other wages I decide on myself. But my first decision as manager is to put on at least six more stockmen, so Drogheda can be run as it should be. It’s too much for a handful.” That was the most he ever said about his sister’s management. No one had ever heard of having so much money; they sat silent, trying to assimilate their good fortune. “We’ll never spend the half of it, Paddy,” said Fee. “He hasn’t left us anything to spend it on.” Paddy looked at her gently. “I know, Mum. But isn’t it nice to think we’ll never have to worry about money again?” He cleared his throat. “Now it seems  to me that Mum and Meggie in particular are going to be at a bit of a loose end,” he went on. “I was never much good at figures, but Mum can add and subtract and divide and multiply like an arithmetic teacher. So Mum is going to be the Drogheda bookkeeper, instead of Harry 9 Gough’s office. I never realized it, but Harry has employed one chap just to deal with Drogheda’s accounts, and at the moment he’s a man short, so he doesn’t mind passing it back to us at all. In fact, he was the one who suggested Mum might make a good bookkeeper. He’s going to send someone out from Gilly to teach you properly, Mum. It’s quite complicated, apparently 10. You’ve got to balance the ledgers 11, the cash books, the journals, record everything in the log book, and so on. Enough to keep you pretty busy, only it won’t take the starch 12 out of you the way cooking and washing did, will it?” 
      It was on the tip of Meggi’s tongue to shout: What about me? I did just as much washing and cooking as Mum! Fee was actually smiling, for the first time since the news about Frank. “I’ll enjoy the job, Paddy, really I will. It will make me feel like a part of Drogheda.” “Bob is going to teach you how to drive the new Rolls, because you’re going to have to be the one to go into Gilly to the bank and see Harry.” Besides, it will do you good to know you can drive anywhere you want without depending on one of us being around. We’re too isolated 13 out here. I’ve always meant to teach you girls how to drive, but there’s never been the time before. All right, Fee?” “All right, Paddy,” she said happily. “Now, Meggie, we’ve got to deal with you.” Meggie laid her sock and needle down, looked up at her father in a mixture of inquiry 14 and resentment 15, sure she knew what he was going to say: her mother would be busy with the books, so it would be her job to supervise the house and its environs. “I’d hate to see you turn into an idle, snobby 16 miss like some of the graziers’ daughters we know,” Paddy said with a smile which robbed his words of any contempt. “So I’m going to put you to work at a full-time 17 job, too, wee Meggie. You’re going to look after the inside paddocks for us—Borehead, Creek 18, Carson, Winnemurra and North Tank. You’re also going to look after the Home Paddock. You’ll be responsible for the stock horses, which ones are working and which ones are being spelled. During musters 19 and lambing we’ll all pitch in together, of course, but otherwise you’ll manage on your own, I reckon. Jack can teach you to work the dogs and use a stock whip. You’re a terrible tomboy still, so I thought you might like to work in the paddocks more than lie around the house,” he finished, smiling more broadly than ever. Resentment and discontent had flown out the window while he talked; he was once more Daddy, who loved her and thought of her. What had been the matter with her, to doubt him so? 
      She was so ashamed of herself she felt like jabbing the big darning needle into her leg, but she was too happy to contemplate 20 self-infliction of pain for very long, and anyway, it was just an extravagant 21 way of expressing her remorse 22. Her face shone. “Oh, Daddy, I’ll love it!” “What about me, Daddy?” asked Stuart. “The girls don’t need you around the house anymore, so you’ll be out in the paddocks again, Stu.” “All right, Daddy.” He looked at Fee longingly 23, but said nothing. Fee and Meggie learned to drive the new Rolls-Royce Mary Carson had taken delivery of a week before she died, and Meggie learned to work the dogs while Fee learned to keep the books. If it hadn’t been for Father Ralph’s continued absence, Meggie for one would have been absolutely happy. This was what she had always longed to do: be out there in the paddocks astride a horse, doing stockman’s work. Yet the ache for Father Ralph was always there, too, the memory of his kiss something to be dreamed about, treasured, felt again a thousand times. However, memory wasn’t a patch on reality; try as she would, the actual sensation couldn’t be conjured 24 up, only a shadow of it, like a thin sad cloud. 
     When he wrote to tell them about Frank, her hopes that he would use this as a pretext 25 to visit them were abruptly 26 shattered. His description of the trip to see, Frank in Goulburn Gaol 27 was carefully worded, stripped of the pain it had engendered 28, giving no hint of Frank’s steadily 29 worsening psychosis. He had tried vainly to have Frank committed to Morisset asylum 30 for the criminally insane, but no one had listened. So he simply passed on an idealistic image of a Frank resigned to paying for his sins to society, and in a passage heavily underlined told Paddy Frank had no idea they knew what had happened. It had come to his ears, he assured Frank, through Sydney newspapers, and he would make sure the family never knew. After being told this, Frank settled better, he said, and left it at that. Paddy talked of selling Father Ralph’s chestnut 31 mare 32. Meggie used the rangy black gelding she had ridden for pleasure as a stock horse, for it was lighter-mouthed and nicer in nature than the moody 33 mares or mean geldings in the yards. Stock horses were intelligent, and rarely placid 34. Even a total absence of stallions didn’t make them very amiable 35 animals. “Oh, please, Daddy, I can ride the chestnut, too!” Meggie pleaded. “Think how awful it would be if after all his kindnesses to us, Father should come back to visit and discover we had sold his horse!” Paddy stared at her thoughtfully. “Meggie, I don’t think Father will come back.” “But he might! You never know!” The eyes so like Fee’s were too much for him; he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her more than she was already hurt, poor little thing. “All right then, Meggie, we’ll keep the mare, but make sure you use both the mare and the gelding regularly, for I won’t have a fat horse on Drogheda, do you hear?” 
      Until then she hadn’t liked to use Father Ralph’s own mount, but after that she alternated to give both the animals in the stables a chance to work off their oats. It was just as well Mrs. Smith, Minnie and Cat doted on the twins, for with Meggie out in the paddocks and Fee sitting for hours at her escritoire in the drawing room, the two little fellows had a wonderful time. They were into everything, but with such glee and constant good humor that no one could be angry with them for very long. At night in her little house Mrs. Smith, long converted to Catholicism, knelt to her prayers with such deep thankfulness in her heart she could scarcely contain it. Children of her own had never come to gladden her when Rob had been alive, and for years the big house had been childless, its occupants forbidden to mix with the inhabitants of the stockmen’s houses down by the creek. But when the Clearys came they were Mary Carson’s kin 2, and there were children at last. Especially now, with Jims and Patsy permanent residents of the big house. 
      It had been a dry winter, and the summer rains didn’t come. Kneehigh and lush, the tawny 36 grass dried out in the stark 37 sun until even the inner core of each blade was crisp. To look across the paddocks required slitted eyes and a hat brim drawn 38 far down on the forehead; the grass was mirror-silver, and little spiral whirlwinds sped busily among shimmering 39 blue mirages 40, transferring dead leaves and fractured grass blades from one restless heap to another. Oh, but it was dry! Even the trees were dry, the bark falling from them in stiff, crunchy ribbons. No danger yet of the sheep starving—the grass would last  another year at least, maybe more—but no one liked to see everything so dry. There was always a good chance the rain would not come next year, or the year after. In a good year they got ten to fifteen inches, in a bad year less than five, perhaps close to none at all. In spite of the heat and the flies, Meggie loved life out in the paddocks, walking the chestnut mare behind a bleating 41 mob of sheep while the dogs lay flat on the ground, tongues lolling, deceptively inattentive. Let one sheep bolt out of the tightly packed cluster and the nearest dog would be away, a streak 42 of vengeance 43, sharp teeth hungering to nip into a hapless heel. Meggie rode ahead of her mob, a welcome relief after breathing their dust for several miles, and opened the paddock gate. She waited patiently while the dogs, reveling in this chance to show her what they could do, bit and goaded 44 the sheep through. It was harder mustering 45 and droving cattle, for they kicked or charged, often killing 46 an unwary dog; that was when the human herdsman had to be ready to do his bit, use his whip, but the dogs loved the spice of danger working cattle. However, to drove cattle was not required of her; Paddy attended to that himself. But the dogs never ceased to fascinate her; their intelligence was phenomenal. Most of the Drogheda dogs were kelpies, coated in rich brownish tan with creamy paws, chests and eyebrows 47, but there were Queensland blues 48 too, larger, with blue-grey coats dappled in black, and all varieties of crossbreds between kelpie and blue. The bitches came in heat, were scientifically mated, increased and whelped; after weaning and growing, their pups were tried out in the paddocks, and if good were kept or sold, if no good shot. 
 

在帕迫接到那封非同一般的信之后，有一次趁大家都在家时，他在那间美丽的客厅里举行了一次会议。他那罗马式的鼻子上架着那副读书用的钢框眼镜，坐在乳白色的椅子里，把腿舒舒服服地放在与椅子相配套的垫脚翕上，烟斗放在沃特福德烟灰缸中。
　　"这封信太棒了，"他微笑着，愉快地环视了一下。"我想，我们对此应当向妈妈说声谢谢才是，对吧，小子们？"
　　那些"小子们"都咕咕哝哝地表示赞同。菲低下了头，她坐在当年玛丽·卡森的那把高背椅中，这把椅子现在又罩上了一层乳白色的波纹绸。梅吉的双腿躇在垫脚凳旁，她把它当作椅子用，两眼没有离开她正在缝补着的袜子。
　　"唔，德·布里克萨特神父已经把一切都安排好了，他真是宽宏大量，"帕迪接着说道："他已经在银行里以我的名义存了7000镑，而且给你们每个人都开了一个2000镑的户头。作为牧场经理，每年付我4000镑，作为助理经理，每年付鲍勃3000镑。所有干活儿的孩子--杰克、休吉和斯图--每年付2000镑，小男孩们每人每年可以拿1000镑，直到他们能决定自己想做什么事的年龄。
　　"在小男孩们长大以后，即使他们不打算在德罗海达干活儿，也将保证他们象德罗活达的整劳动务一样，每个人每年都可以得到一笔进项作为他们的财产。詹斯和帕西到12岁的时候，将送他们到悉尼的里弗缨学院寄宿，用这笔财产作为受教育的开支。
　　"妈妈自己每年有2000镑，梅吉也一样。家务管理开支保持在5000镑，尽管我不明白为什么神父认为我们管理一幢房子需要这么多钱。他说，这是防备我们万一要比较大的变动时用的。关于史密斯太太、明妮、凯特和汤姆的报酬，我已经得到了他们的指示：我得说，这是十分慷慨的。其它的工资开支由我自己决定。但是我作为牧场经理所作的第一个决定是，至少要增加六名牧工，这样德罗海达才能管理得象个样儿。对这么一小群人来说，活计太多了。"关于她姐姐的经营管理，这是他说得最重的一句话。
　　得到这么多钱，是所有的人闻所未闻的。他们静悄悄地坐在那里，竭力想对他们的好运气习惯起来。
　　"帕迪，我们连一半都花不掉，"菲说道。他没有给我们留下任何可以花掉这笔钱的东西。"帕迪温和地望着她。"我知道，孩子妈。但是，一想到我们再也用不着为钱而发愁，不是很好吗？"他清了清嗓子。"现在，我似乎觉得，尤其是妈妈和梅吉将要松闲一些了，"他接着说道。"我对摆弄数字向来不在行，可是妈妈却象个算术老师，会加减乘除。所以，妈妈将要当德罗海达的记帐员，而不是由哈里·高夫的事务所充当。我从来没有想到这件事，但是，哈里不得不雇佣人来专向管理德罗海达的帐目，眼下他正好缺一把人手，所以，把这件事交还给我们，他是根本不会在意的。其实，提出妈妈可能是个好管帐员的正是哈里。他打算特地从基里派个人来教你呢，孩子妈。显然，这是件相当复杂的事情，你得让分类帐、现金帐和日记帐保持平衡，把所有的事情都记在日记上，等等。够你忙的啦。不过，这工作不会象做饭，洗衣那样让你感到气馁的，对吗？"
　　话就在梅吉的舌尖上转，她直想喊：我怎么办？洗衣、做饭，我和妈干得一样多啊！
　　菲竟然露出了笑容，自从看到弗兰克的消息以来，这还是头一遭。"我会喜欢这份工作的，帕迪，我确实愿意干。这会使我感到自己是德罗海达的一部分"。
　　"鲍勃将会教你开那辆新罗尔斯一罗伊斯牌汽车，因为你得常跑基里，上银行，去见哈里。此外，这对你也有好处，会使你明白，你可以开车去你想去的地方，而用不着让我们跟在你身边了。咱们在这儿太降陋寡闻了。我总是打算教你们这些女人学开车，可以前没时间。好吗，菲？"
　　"好，帕迪，"她快活地说道。
　　"现在，梅吉，我们得安排安排你了。"
　　梅吉把手中的袜子和针放了下来，抬起头，用一种既是询问又是抱怨的眼光望着她父亲。对他要说什么她已心中有底了：她妈妈忙于帐簿，所以，管理房屋和附近的地方就是她的事了。
　　"我可讨厌你变成象我们认识的一些牧场主的女儿那样游手好闲、势利眼的小姐，"帕迪微笑着说道，这笑容使他的话丝毫没有蔑视的意思。"所以，小梅吉，我打算让你于一项满时工作的活儿。你将替我们照管内部围场--鲍尔海德、小河、卡森、温尼莫拉和北但刻。你还得照管家内圈地。你负责那些牧羊马；哪些得去干活儿，哪些得换班休息。当然啦，在羊群集中接羔的时候，我们全都会努力投入工作的，不过我想，其他方面你就得自己去对付了。杰克可以教你使狗和牧羊鞭。你还是个顽皮透顶的姑娘，所以我想，你是宁愿在牧场上干活儿也不愿意围着屋子转的，"他带着比往日更为厚道的微笑，结束了他的话。
　　在他说话的时候，她的抱怨和不满飞到九霄云外，他又成了那个爱她，为她着想的爹爹了。她刚才是怎么了，干嘛要那样怀疑他呢？她觉得羞愧难当，真想用那根大针刺自己的腿。不过，她太高兴了，没有工夫去转那个自找疼痛的念头。可是，话又说回来了，这不过是为了表示她的自责而产生的一种过激的想法罢了。
　　她的脸上异彩大放。"啊，爹，我会热爱这个工作的。"
　　"爹，我呢？"斯图尔特问道。
　　"女仆们"不再需你在家里转了，所以，你也要出去，再到牧场上去，斯图。"
　　"好吧，爹。"他渴望地望着菲，但是什么也没说。
　　菲和梅言学着驾驶那辆罗尔斯-罗伊斯牌新汽车，这是玛丽·卡森死前一星期买来的。在菲学习管理帐簿的同时，梅吉学习使用。
　　要不是因为拉尔夫神父总不在身边的话，梅吉一定是个十分幸福的人。骑着马到牧场上去干牧羊人的活儿，这一直就是她朝思暮想的。然而，心为拉尔夫神父痛苦，依然如往昔。回忆起梦境中他的亲吻，是如此表贵，不由人不千百次地重温着。但是，回忆无补于现实，它就象是一个徘徊不去的幽灵，现实的感觉是无法用魔法将其召来的；她千方百计地想这样做，但这幽灵却象是一片凄怆、缥缈的行云。
　　当拉尔夫写信把弗兰克的消息告诉他们时，她以为他会利用这个借口来拜访他们，但这个希望破灭了。关于他到古尔本监狱探望弗兰克的事，他的描述是措词谨慎的，淡化了这件事所带来的痛苦，丝毫也没透露出弗兰克的精神病一直都在恶化着。他徒劳无益地试图以精神病的名义把弗兰克送进莫里塞特精神病院，但是谁也不听他的。因此，他只好简单地凭空编了一段所谓弗兰克服从社会对他的过失所进行的惩罚。并且在加了重点线的段落中告诉帕迪，弗兰克根本不知道他们已经了解到真象了。他一再向弗兰克保证，这件事是通过悉尼的报纸传进他的耳中的，并且保证永远不让家中知道此事。说完这番话之后，弗兰克稳定多了；他说，那就这么办吧。
　　帕迪曾经谈起过要卖掉拉尔夫神父的那匹栗色母马。梅吉把以前她骑着玩的那匹四肢和身体细长的黑色阉马当了牧羊马，因为比起院子里那些性情暴躁的母马或准备阉割的马，它的岁口要小些，性情要好。牧羊马都十分聪明，但极少有性情温和的。甚至在周围没有那些阉雄马的情况下，也无法使它们成为非常温顺的牲口。
　　"哦，求求你，爹，我也能骑那匹粟色马！"梅吉恳求道。"想想吧，如果他对我们这样好心好意，把他的马卖掉该多糟糕呀。神父会回来看望，会发现我们把你的马卖掉的！"
　　帕迪若有所思地盯着她。"梅吉，我并不认为神父会回来。"
　　"可是他或许会来的！你怎么能保证他不来！"
　　那双和菲十分相似的眼睛对他来说太重要了；她的感情已经受到了伤害，他不能让自己再去伤害她了，这可怜的小东西。"那好吧，梅吉，我们就留下这匹母马吧。不过要说明白，你使用这两匹母马，并且要定期给它们去势，因为我不愿意在德罗海达有膘肥体胖的马，你听见了吗？"
　　在这之前，她并不愿意使用拉尔夫神父本人的坐骑，但是此后，她改变了做法，廊中的这两头牲口都有机会去消化掉它们吃下的燕麦子。
　　由于梅吉到牧场上去了，菲几个小时地坐在客厅里的写字台前，也就只好由着史密斯太太，明妮和凯特去宠着那对孪生子了。这两个小家伙过得可美了。他们什么东西都碰，但是由于他们总是事事快乐，兴致勃勃，谁和他们生气都长不了。长斯皈依天主教的史密斯太太，夜晚便在她那小屋中怀着感恩至深的心情跪下祈祷，这种感激之情她是秘藏心头的。她自己的孩子罗伯活着的时候，从来没有使她这么愉快过，而且，许多年来，大宅里没有过一个孩子，它的占有者不许她们和小河那边的牧场工头住宅里的居民厮混在一起。但是，克利里一家人是玛丽·卡森的亲戚，他们来了以后，这里终于有了孩子。尤其是现在，詹斯和帕西将永远住在大宅里了。
　　冬天干旱，夏天就没有雨水。茂盛的、没膝高的草在炎炎赤日的照射下变成了茶褐色，甚至连叶片心都蔫了。要想放眼瞭望一下牧场，就得眯起眼睛，把帽洞低低地压在前额上；整个草地闪着耀眼的亮光，小旋风匆匆忙忙地掠过闪着微光的、蓝色的蜃景，把枯死的权时和折断的草叶片从一堆带到另一堆。"
　　啊，大旱了！连树都干枯了。树皮僵硬地从树干上脱落下来，吱吱嘎嘎地裂成碎片。但是羊群还没有饿肚子的危险--草至少可以支持到来年，也许更久--可是，谁也不愿意看到一切都干成这种样子。明年或后年不下雨的可能性是非常大的。好年景能下十到十五英寸的雨水，坏年景降雨少于五英寸，也可能滴雨不下。
　　尽管暑热炎炎，梅吉还是乐意呆在外面的牧场上，骑着那匹栗色牝马在咩咩叫着的羊群后面溜达。一群狗都躺在地上，伸出舌头，让人误以为它们心不在焉，只要有一只羊窜出紧紧地挤在一起的羊群，离得最近的一条狗便会如离弦之箭一般飞跑过去，用尖利的牙齿咬那只倒霉的逃跑者。
　　梅吉策马跑到羊群的前头，打开牧场的大门。在呼吸了几英里的灰尘之后，这种解脱是可喜的。那些得到这个机会在她面前大显身手的狗连咬带赶地把羊群驱过围场大门的时候，她耐心地等待着。把牛聚拢到一起赶走要难得多，因为它们又踢又冲，常常把粗心大意的狗弄死。就是牧工干这个活儿的时候，也得做好费点儿气力和动用鞭子的准备。但，是狗却喜欢赶牛这种富于冒险意味的活儿。不过，赶牛的时候并不需要她，帕迪亲自参与这项工作。
　　但是，狗一直强烈地吸引着她，它们的聪敏是非常寻常的。大部分德罗海达的狗都是苏格兰种的长毛大牧羊犬，棕褐色的皮毛，爪子、胸脯和眉毛是乳白色的。但是也有昆士兰种的蓝犬，个头儿更大，皮毛是带黑斑的蓝灰色。此外，还有各种各样的长毛大牧羊犬和昆士兰犬配的杂种。热天一到，就要对母狗进行经过严格技术措施的配种，使其繁殖、下崽；等到它们断奶、长大之后，便在围场内进行挑选。好的便留下或出售，不好的便打死。