ESL之人际交往 14 Being Affectionate in Public

14 Being Affectionate in Public

GLOSSARY 1

couple – a romantic pair; two people involved in a romantic relationship* Ingot and Stanislav make such a beautiful couple.  I hope that they stay together!

indecent – inappropriate and offensive; immoral 2* Many people thought that the actress’s dress was indecent because it was tootight and showed too much of her body.

to hug – to embrace; to put one’s arms around another person while facing himor her, so that one’s bodies are touching 3* Chelsea hugged her grandma for a long time when it was time to say goodbye.

to kiss – to put one’s lips on another person’s skin (usually lips, cheeks, orhands) to show affection or love, say hello or goodbye, or be romantic* Do people kiss each other on the cheek to say hello in your country?

to sit on (someone’s) lap – to sit on another person’s upper legs while thatperson is sitting down* The cat likes to sit on Burt’s lap when he’s reading.

to make out – to kiss and touch someone sexually for a long time* A lot of high school students drive to the top of that hill to make out in their cars.

public – for everyone; with many people; open to anybody* In the U.S., most people attend a public high school, rather than a private one.

to get a room – to stay at a hotel room, usually because one wants to dosomething sexual that shouldn’t be seen by other people* I don’t like watching people kiss and touch each other.  They should get a roomso that I don’t have to see it!

passionate 4 – with strong feelings, especially of sexual love* Romeo gave Nancy an extremely passionate kiss.

teenager – adolescent; a young person who is 13-19 years old* Teenagers often fight with their parents because they’re trying to have moreindependence.

modestly – conservatively; not attracting attention* Desdemona told her daughter to dress more modestly.

to hold hands – to put one’s hand in another person’s hand as a sign of loveor affection* It made us smile to see our grandparents holding hands as they walked throughthe park.

a peck on the cheek – a quick kiss on one’s cheek (the skin on the side of one’s face)* Becky’s first kiss was just a quick peck on the cheek, but she was only 12 years old, so she thought it was very romantic.

private – for only certain people; without other people being around* Noemi asked to speak with her doctor in private because she didn’t want otherpeople to hear about her medical problems.

to get cozy 5 – to be physically 6 close to another person* Shane and his girlfriend get cozy while watching movies, sitting as close as possible to each other, with his arm around her shoulders.

to object to (something) – to oppose something; to believe and say thatsomething is wrong or inappropriate* Leo objects to the way that some parents give their children everything they askfor.

public displays of affection – PDA – people kissing, hugging, and touchingeach other in sexual or romantic ways where other people can see it* I know you two have only been married for a month, but could you stop thePDA, at least while I’m here?

to turn (one’s) stomach – to make one feel sick; to make one feel like vomiting* The smell of sardines 7 turns by stomach.

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS1.  What does Nelly think is indecent?

a)  The way that the couple is making out.

b)  The way that the couple is talking.

c)  The way that the couple is behaving in a private place.

2.  What does Nelly mean when she says, “It turns my stomach”?

a)  She is hungry.

b)  Her stomach hurts.

c)  She feels sick.

______________WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

to make outThe phrase “to make out,” in this podcast, means to kiss and touch someonesexually for a long time: “Did your parents ever catch you making out with yourboyfriend when you were a teenager?”  The phrase “to make out” is also used toask someone informally how he or she did with something, or whether he or shewas successful in doing something: “How did you make out on your first day atwork?”  The phrase “to make (something) out” means to distinguish something,or to be able to read or hear something that is difficult to read or hear: “Can youmake out what that sign says?  The letters are too small for me to read them.” Or, “The professor is speaking too quietly and it’s hard to make out what she’s saying.” to objectIn this podcast, the verb “to object” means to oppose something, or to believeand say that something is wrong or inappropriate: “Antonio objects to the wayscientists use animals in their research.”  As a noun, an “object” is a physicalthing that is not alive and can be seen and touched: “The art gallery is filled withinteresting glass objects.”  An “object” is also an aim, goal, or purpose: “ForAlbert, the only object of studying is to get a good job.”  If someone says, “money is no object,” it means that he or she is willing to spend a lot of money to get whathe or she wants, and the cost isn’t important: “Money is no object for Elisa.  Shealways buys the best things available.”

CULTURE NOTEIn the United States, people have different ideas about what kinds of public displays of affection (PDAs) are acceptable.  It “varies” (is different) dependingon the age of people, and what part of the country they live in.

Almost everyone believes that holding hands in public is okay.  Most peoplebelieve that kissing and hugging is acceptable, too.  But very long kisses andhugs, or lots of touching, is often “considered” (thought or believed) to beindecent and inappropriate.  “Snuggling” (holding another person close for a longtime) sometimes even sleeping, is usually not appropriate in public.  However,during the spring and summer, couples are seen snuggling on blankets in thegrass at public parks.  As long as there isn’t too much kissing and touching, mostpeople don’t “mind” (object) to it.  Sometimes, however, another person in thepark might feel “offended” (insulted) and shout, “Why don’t you two get a room?”

to try to “embarrass” the couple, or make them feel ashamed, so that they stopsnuggling.

At nightclubs, PDAs are more acceptable, even though these are still public places.  Many young people enjoy dancing close to each other and rub theirbodies against each other in sexual ways while they are moving to the music.  Atnightclubs, these couples are surrounded by other young people doing the samething, so no one objects.  But when older people see it, they often think that it is indecent.

In general, each “generation” (group of people with similar ages) seems to acceptmore PDAs than the “prior” (earlier) generation did.  Over time, U.S. culture is becoming more tolerant about what other people do in public.

______________Comprehension Questions Correct Answers:  1 – a; 2 – c

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPTWelcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 293: BeingAffectionate in Public.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 293.  I'm your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Visit our website at eslpod.com and take a look at our ESL Podcast Store; it has some additional premium 8 courses we think you'll be interested in.  You can alsodownload a Learning Guide for this episode by going to our website.

This episode is called “Being Affectionate in Public.”  “Affectionate” means showing someone that you love them.  Let's get started.

[start of story]

Nelly:  Look at that couple over there.  What they’re doing is indecent!

Sadat:  Where?  Oh, you mean those two people hugging and kissing?  That’s not indecent.

Nelly:  They’re not just hugging and kissing.  That girl is sitting on her boyfriend’s lap and they’re making out in the middle of a public place.  They need to get aroom.

Sadat:  They’re just passionate, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Don’t youremember when you were a teenager in love?

Nelly:  When I was a teenager, we behaved a lot more modestly.  We might holdhands or give each other a peck on the cheek in public.  That’s it.  Anything elsewe did, we did in private.  Sadat:  Oh, you’re not saying that you didn’t get cozy with your boyfriend as ateenager, you’re just saying you did it in private. Nelly:  Right.  What I object to is having to watch other people’s public displays ofaffection.  It turns my stomach. Sadat:  Don’t look now, but there’s another PDA over there.

Nelly:  Oh, no! [end of story]

Our dialogue between Nelly and Sadat begins by Nelly saying, “Look at thatcouple over there.”  That “couple” is usually a word that refers to a romantic pair,two people involved in a romantic relationship.  Nelly says, “What they’re doing is indecent!”  To be “indecent” means to be inappropriate or immoral – offensive. It's a negative description; the opposite of “indecent” would be “decent.”  If yourun outside without any clothes on, that would be considered, in most places, tobe “indecent.”  At least, at my house!

Sadat says, “Oh, you mean those two people hugging and kissing?  That’s notindecent.”  To “hug” means to put your arms around another person, usually when you are facing them so that your bodies are touching.  To “kiss” means toput your lips to another person's skin, usually their lips.  If you ever come to LosAngeles, I'll be happy to show you “hugging and kissing,” depending on who youare!

Nelly says, “They’re not just hugging and kissing.  That girl is sitting on herboyfriend’s lap.”  To “sit on someone's lap” means to sit on their legs – the upperpart of their legs when they are sitting down.  That's to “sit on someone's lap.” Nelly says that this couple is “making out in the middle of a public place.”  To“make out” (two words) is an informal verb that means to kiss and touchsomeone else; sometimes it has a slightly sexual meaning as well.  Theexpression “make out” also has some non-romantic meanings; take a look at theLearning Guide for some additional explanations.

Nelly says they're “in the middle of a public place.”  “Public” is where there aremany people – open to anyone.  The opposite of “public” would be “private.”  Shesays, “They need to get a room.”  This is an informal expression, which means they need to get away from the public view so that people can't see them. Literally 9, it means to go into a room by themselves and close the door, such as ahotel room.  This is usually an expression we use when we see people who arebeing too affectionate, somewhat indecent in public.  You may say, “Oh, get aroom!” meaning you're doing something that's not appropriate for a public place –something romantically or, possibly, even sexually, related.

Sadat says, “They’re just passionate.”  To be “passionate” is to have strongfeelings, especially about love and romance.  You can use the word “passionate,”

however, for anything; you could be passionate about art or passionate about movies.  It means you love them; you think they are great; you are very excitedabout them.

Sadat says this couple is “just passionate...there's nothing wrong with that.  Don’tyou remember when you were a teenager in love?” he asks Nelly.  A “teenager”

is anyone between the ages of 13 and 19.

Nelly says, “When I was a teenager, we behaved a lot more modestly.” “Modestly” means conservatively, not attracting attention.  To be “modest” means not to make yourself more important – to make yourself the center of attention. In this case, “modestly” means more decent – more appropriate for the“circumstance,” the situation.

Nelly continues, “We might hold hands or give each other a peck on the cheek inpublic.  That’s it.”  To “hold hands” means to put your hand in someone else's hand, usually to indicate that you love them or are affectionate toward them.  Inthe U.S., usually only couples in love hold hands.  A parent may hold the hand ofhis or her child, especially if they are very young.  A “peck” (peck) is the same as a kiss, a very quick kiss.  A “peck on the cheek” would be to kiss someone ontheir cheek.  The “cheek” is the part of your face underneath 10 your eyes, betweenyour ears and your mouth and nose; that's your “cheek.”

Nelly says, “Anything else we did, we did in private.”  Again, “private” is theopposite of “public,” away from other people. Sadat says, “Oh, you’re not saying you didn’t get cozy with your boyfriend as ateenager, you’re just saying you did it in private.”  To “get cozy” (cozy) means tobe physically close to another person.

Nelly says, “Right,” or that's correct.  “What I object to” – what I dislike; what Ioppose; what I think is wrong – “is having to watch other people’s public displays of affection.”  To “object to” something has some other meanings, take a look atour Learning Guide for some additional explanations.

A “public display of affection” is when people kiss and hug in some romantic way,where other people can see them.  It's sometimes abbreviated 11 “PDA”: “Look overthere, it's a PDA” – a public display of affection.  To “display” means to showsomething.

Nelly says that public displays of affection turn her stomach.  To “turn yourstomach” means to make you feel sick, to make you feel like you have to “vomit,” or throw up, when the contents of your stomach come out through your mouth. Not a very nice thing!

Sadat says to Nelly, “Don’t look now, but there’s another PDA over there.”  Theexpression “don't look now” is used to “point out,” or to indicate, something tosomeone, something that they probably don't see yet.  “Don't look now” really means look now at what is happening.  Of course, in public sometimes we say,“Don't look” to mean don't turn your head and look at something because thatperson will know that you are looking at them, and that might be considered rudeor impolite.

Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.

[start of story]

Nelly:  Look at that couple over there.  What they’re doing is indecent!

Sadat:  Where?  Oh, you mean those two people hugging and kissing?  That’s not indecent.

Nelly:  They’re not just hugging and kissing.  That girl is sitting on her boyfriend’s lap and they’re making out in the middle of a public place.  They need to get aroom.

Sadat:  They’re just passionate, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Don’t youremember when you were a teenager in love?

Nelly:  When I was a teenager, we behaved a lot more modestly.  We might holdhands or give each other a peck on the cheek in public.  That’s it.  Anything elsewe did, we did in private.  Sadat:  Oh, you’re not saying you didn’t get cozy with your boyfriend as ateenager, you’re just saying you did it in private. Nelly:  Right.  What I object to is having to watch other people’s public displays ofaffection.  It turns my stomach. Sadat:  Don’t look now, but there’s another PDA over there.

Nelly:  Oh, no!

[end of story]

The script for this podcast was written by Dr. Lucy Tse. From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.  Thanks for listening.  We'll seeyou next time on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse,hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan.  This podcast is copyright 2007.