ESL之人际交往 16 A Traditional Wedding

16 A Traditional Wedding

GLOSSARY

wedding – a ceremony that creates a marriage; a ceremony that makes twopeople married* They had a beautiful and very large wedding, with almost 300 guests.

civil ceremony – a wedding ceremony that is not religious; a wedding ceremonythat meet only legal (not religious) requirements* Katy wants to get married in her church, but her future husband wants only acivil ceremony.

minister – a religious leader in many Christian churches, similar to a priest orpastor* When Damian’s mother died, Damian spent a lot of time talking to the ministerabout how he was feeling.

to officiate – to lead a wedding or other ceremony; to be in charge of aceremony; to do all the things that are officially part of a ceremony* Who officiated at your wedding?

fiancé (man) / fiancée (woman) – a person to whom one has promised to getmarried; the man or woman whom one is engaged to* Did your parents know your fiancé well before you two decided to get married?

to join – to bring two people or things together; to make two people or thingsbecome one* The two small medical offices joined to form a new, larger office.

holy – sacred; blessed by God; related to God and/or religion* The church is a holy place and people enter it with respect.

matrimony – marriage; the union of two people as a married couple* Before I consider matrimony, I want to get a good job and be out of debt.

to hold (one’s) peace – to not say anything against something; to remain quietabout one’s opposition to something* I can’t hold my peace any longer!  I have to tell Jeremy that I think what he’s doing is wrong.

to face (someone) – to move one’s body so that one is standing in front ofanother person, and look at into that person’s face or eyes* The two men faced each other angrily, and everyone was worried that they would start to fight.

lawfully wedded – legally married; married in accordance with the laws* Mr. and Mrs. Tannenbaum have been lawfully wedded for more than 50 years.

to have and to hold – to own; to possess and keep* I don’t understand how people can promise to have and to hold each other forthe rest of their lives, and then get divorced a few years later!

to cherish – to love and take care of something or someone very much; to adoreand honor something or someone* I cherish the moments that we had together, and I will never forget them.

until death do (one) part – until death separates two people; until death* Keanu has promised to love, honor, and respect her until death does them part.

symbol – a thing or image that represents something else* In the United States, red roses are a symbol of love, and yellow roses are asymbol of friendship.

With this ring, I thee wed – A traditional phrase used in weddings when oneperson puts a ring on the other person’s finger and they become married; I marry you with this ring* Sonja had tears in her eyes when she said, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

to applaud – to clap; to quickly hit one’s hands together many times to makenoise and show that one is pleased with something* Everyone applauded when the Governor entered the room.

honor – privilege; something that one is proud to do; joy* When Jeff received the Nobel Prize, he told the audience that it was a greathonor.

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS1.  Why does the minister ask people to “hold your peace”?

a)  Because he wants them to stop fighting with each other.

b)  Because if they don’t object now, they shouldn’t do it later.

c)  Because it’s another way of saying “hold hands.”

2.  What does the minister mean when he says, “I now pronounce you husbandand wife”?

a)  He means that he pronounced their names properly.

b)  He means that he accidentally said “husband” instead of “wife.”

c)  He means that he is officially stating that they are a married couple.

______________WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

ministerThe word “minister,” in this podcast, means a religious leader in many Christianchurches, similar to a priest or pastor: “Are women allowed to be ministers inyour church?”  As a verb, “to minister” means to work as a religious minister: “Hehas been ministering in this community for 25 years.”  The phrase “to minister to(someone)” means to take care of sick or poor people: “Mother Theresa was famous for her efforts to minister to India’s poorest people.”  A “minister” is alsoan important leader in the government in many countries, although not in theUnited States: “Who is Peru’s Minister of Foreign Affairs?”  These ministers work in “ministries,” or government departments: “The Ministry of Education is responsible for the nation’s school system.”

to joinIn this podcast, the verb “to join” means to bring two people or things together, orto make them become one: “Use a nail to join these two pieces of woodtogether.”  The verb “to join” also means to become a member, or to begin toparticipate in an organization: “Juanita joined the Girl Scouts when she was seven years old.”  The phrase “to join in” means to do something that otherpeople are doing: “Everyone was singing together, but Carol wouldn’t join inbecause she thinks she’s a bad singer.”  Finally, the phrase “to join up with(someone)” means to do something with another person or group of people later:

“You and Sally go to the restaurant now, and we’ll join up with you later, as soonas we finish this assignment.”

CULTURE NOTEA “wedding party” is the group of people who have official “roles” (sets ofresponsibilities) during a wedding.  The most important members of the weddingparty are the “bride” (the woman who will become the wife) and the “groom” or“bridegroom” (the man who will become the husband).  In a “traditional wedding,”

or a wedding that follows many old “customs” (cultural practices), the bride andgroom ask many people to be members of their wedding party.

The bride invites her sister or a close friend to be her “maid of honor” (if she is not married) or “matron of honor” (if she is married).  The maid or matron ofhonor usually helps the bride with the details of planning the wedding, and helps her get dressed on the day of the wedding.

The groom invites his brother or a close friend to be the “best man.”  The bestman usually helps the groom get dressed on the day of his wedding, and holds the wedding rings during the ceremony.

The bride and groom may invite a young girl, usually four to eight years old, to bethe “flower girl,” who gently throws flower “petals” (the small, colored pieces of aflower) onto the ground when the bride walks into the room.  Another member ofthe wedding party is the “ring bearer,” who is a young boy who carries thewedding rings on a small pillow. Other members of a traditional wedding party include “bridesmaids” and “ushers.” “Bridesmaids” are close female friends of the bride who wear “matching” (thesame) dresses and walk in front of the bride.  “Ushers” are usually male friendsand relatives of the bride and groom who help guests find their seats andorganize the wedding gifts that the guests bring.

______________Comprehension Questions Correct Answers:  1 – b; 2 – c

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPTWelcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 303: A TraditionalWedding.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 303.  I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Remember to visit our website at eslpod.com.  Take a look at our ESL PodcastStore; it has some additional premium courses in daily conversational Englishand business English.  You can also take a look at our “English Through Stories”

mystery, Deadly Letters.

This episode is about a traditional wedding that you would find in the UnitedStates.  Let’s get started.

[start of story]

I arrived at my friend Karin’s wedding a little late and the ceremony had already begun.  I’ve been to a lot of civil ceremonies, but it had been a while since I hadattended a religious one.  They had asked a minister to officiate.

When I arrived, Karin and her fiancé, Jan, were standing in front of the church.

Minister:  We are gathered here today to join Jan and Karin in holy matrimony.  Ifthere is anyone here who knows of a reason why these two should not be joinedin marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Fortunately, no one said anything. Minister:  Jan and Karin, please face each other and join hands.

Minister:  [To Jan]  Do you, Jan Casanova, take Karin Valentine, to be yourlawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for better andfor worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘till death do youpart.

Jan said, “I do,” and the minister asked Karin the same question, and she said, “Ido,” as well.

Minister:  May I have the rings?  [To Jan]  Please place this ring, a symbol ofyour love, on Karin’s hand and say, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Jan put the ring on the fourth finger of Karin’s left hand.  Karin said the samething and put a ring on Jan’s finger.

Minister:  I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may now kiss the bride. Jan and Karin kissed and we all applauded. Minister:  Ladies and gentleman, it is my great honor to present to you for thevery first time the happy couple, Jan and Karin.

[end of story]

In this episode we are at a wedding, what we would call a “traditional wedding.” It may also be called a “church wedding” that you would see in a Christianchurch.  Of course, those in other religious traditions would have a somewhatdifferent wedding.  But this is the sort of wedding that you would see in themovies, a traditional church wedding.

The woman in the story says that she arrived at her friend Karin’s wedding a littlelate.  The “wedding,” of course, is the ceremony (the act of getting married –when two people get married).  The person in our story says that she has been toa lot of civil ceremonies, but it had been a while since she attended a religious one.  There’s two ways of getting married in the United States.  One is to getmarried by a recognized priest, minister, rabbi – a religious leader.  The otherway is by a civil ceremony.  “Civil” (civil) here means government; it’s not areligious ceremony.  You are married not by a minister or a priest, but by a justiceof the peace.  This is a judge or someone who is legally recognized to have thepower to marry you.  Every state is different in terms of its laws and rules, but allstates have the option (the availability) of getting married just by the government.

Now, if you get married in a church in the United States, or a synagogue or otherreligious organization, you still have to get a license from the government.  Butyou don’t have to have two different weddings, a church wedding and then agovernment (or civil) wedding.  The government recognizes church weddings as legal as long as you get a license from the county where you are living (the statein which you are living).

Most marriages – most weddings – are church weddings in the United States. About 30 to 40 percent of all weddings are civil ceremonies, with a justice of the peace (a judge) marrying you, often in a government building but not necessarily;you can get married anywhere.  In this case, the wedding has a minister, and theminister is officiating at the wedding.  A “minister” is a religious leader in aChristian church, usually, similar to a priest.  To “officiate” means to lead thewedding (to be in charge of the ceremony – the wedding ceremony).

When she arrives, Karin and her fiancé, Jan, were standing in front of the church. Your “fiancé” is the man or woman that you are promised to in marriage – thatyou are going to get married to.  If it’s a man, it’s spelled f-i-a-n-c-é with anaccent over the “e” – it’s a French word originally.  If it’s a woman, there are two“e”s at the end of the word (fiancée).  So your fiancé is the person that you areengaged to (the person you are going to marry). The minister begins the ceremony in a very traditional way, using expressions that you will hear in the movies sometimes: “We are gathered here together (weare here together) to join Jan and Karin in holy matrimony.”  To “join” in this casemeans to bring two people together to marry them.  “Holy matrimony” is anotherword for marriage.  “Holy” (holy) means sacred (blessed by God); “matrimony” is another word for marriage.  So “holy matrimony” is a marriage approved by, orblessed by, God.

“If there is anyone here who knows of a reason why these two should not bejoined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.”  Again, this is very traditional wording.  If there is anyone who has some reason why these twopeople should not be married, speak now (say something now) or forever holdyour peace.  To “hold your peace” means never to say anything about something– to remain quiet about your feelings or thoughts about this subject.  Again, it’s atraditional expression that you hear at weddings: “speak now or forever hold yourpeace.”  Fortunately, no one said anything.  No one ever says anything!  Only inthe movies will someone say, “No!  They can’t be married!  I love her!” –something like that.

The minister says, “Jan and Karin, please face each other and join hands.”  To“face each other” means to turn and to look at each other so that you are – yourbodies are parallel; you are looking into each other’s eyes.  Then the ministersays to Jan, “Do you, Jan Casanova, take Karin Valentine, to be your lawfully wedded wife.”  “Lawfully” just means legally, “wedded” is another word formarried.  So, do you take her to be your lawfully wedded wife – do you agree tohave her as your wife. The minister continues “to have and to hold.”  “To have and to hold” means toown – to possess, to keep.  He continues, “to love and to cherish.”  To “cherish” (cherish) is to love, to take care of something.  “For better or for worse, for richeror for poorer, in sickness and in health,” so he’s saying good times, bad times, ifyou’re rich, if you’re poor, if you’re sick, if you’re healthy it doesn’t matter, she willbe your wife.  The final part of the expression is “‘till death do you part.”  “‘Till”

means the same as until; to “part” means to separate.  So the expression “‘tilldeath do you part” means until one of you dies.  After you die, then you don’thave to worry about being married!  Some people say you die when you getmarried but I’m – I’m not saying that!

So the ministers says to Jan, “Do you, Jan Casanova, take Karin Valentine, to beyour lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for betteror for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘till death do youpart.”  Jan says, “I do.”  That’s what you say when the minister, priest, or justiceof the peace asks you this question, you say, “I do.”  You don’t normally say “yes,” you say, “I do.”  The minister then asked Karin the same question, and shesaid, “I do.” The minister then says, “May I have the rings?”  In a traditional wedding, the manand the woman each have a ring on their finger that signifies that they aremarried.  The minister says to Jan, “Please place this ring, a symbol of your love,on Karin’s hand.”  A “symbol” is a thing or image that represents something else,so the ring is a symbol of your love.  The minister tells Jan to say to Karin, “Withthis ring, I thee wed.”  “With this ring (this wedding ring), I thee (thee) wed.” “Thee” is an old word meaning “you”; to “wed” means to marry.  Again, it’s an oldtraditional expression or phrase: “With this ring, I thee wed,” I am marrying youand I am giving you this ring as a sign (or symbol) of that.

Jan puts the ring on Karin’s left hand, on her fourth finger.  Karin says the samething to Jan and puts it on his finger.  The minister then says, “I now pronounceyou husband and wife.”  “I now pronounce” means I am now saying (I amannouncing – I am making it true) that you are husband and wife.  A moretraditional expression that you may hear, also, is “man and wife” – “I nowpronounce you man and wife”; a more modern version would be “husband andwife.”  He then says to Jan, “You may now kiss the bride.”  And that is, again, atraditional thing, and if the woman in an old-fashioned wedding is wearing – or avery traditional wedding – is wearing a veil (something that covers her face) shewould lift that up, and then they would kiss, and everyone would clap – everyonewould applaud.  To “applaud,” or to “clap,” is to put your hands together [Jeffclaps his hands] like that; that’s to “applaud.”

The minister, at the end, says, “Ladies and gentleman, it is my great honor – it is my great privilege (something that I am proud of) – it is my great honor to present to you for the very first time the happy couple, Jan and Karin.”  It’s also possiblefor the minister to say “Mr. and Mrs. Jan Casanova” if the woman is going to takethe last name of the man, and almost all women in the U.S. do take theirhusband’s last name when they get married – not all, however, but the majority do.

Now let’s listen to our dialogue, this time at a normal speed.

[start of story]

I arrived at my friend Karin’s wedding a little late and the ceremony had already begun.  I’ve been to a lot of civil ceremonies, but it had been a while since I’dattended a religious one.  They had asked a minister to officiate.

When I arrived, Karin and her fiancé, Jan, were standing in front of the church.

Minister:  We are gathered here today to join Jan and Karin in holy matrimony.  Ifthere is anyone here who knows of a reason why these two should not be joinedin marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Fortunately, no one said anything. Minister:  Jan and Karin, please face each other and join hands.

Minister:  [To Jan] Do you, Jan Casanova, take Karin Valentine, to be yourlawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for better andfor worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘till death do youpart.

Jan said, “I do,” and the minister asked Karin the same question, and she said, “Ido,” as well.

Minister:  May I have the rings?  [To Jan]  Please place this ring, a symbol ofyour love, on Karin’s hand and say, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Jan put the ring on the fourth finger of Karin’s left hand.  Karin said the samething and put a ring on Jan’s finger.

Minister:  I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may now kiss the bride. Jan and Karin kissed and we all applauded.  

Minister:  Ladies and gentleman, it is my great honor to present to you for thevery first time the happy couple, Jan and Karin.

[end of story]

The script for this episode was written by the happily married Dr. Lucy Tse. From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan.  Thanks for listening.  We’ll seeyou next time on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse,hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan.  This podcast is copyright 2007.