2011年ESL之就医和人际交往 12 Taking Someone for Granted

12 Taking Someone for Granted

GLOSSARY 1

to leave (someone) – to choose to end a romantic relationship with anotherperson, especially when that other person does not want to end the relationship

* Brian’s father left his mother when Brian was just three years old.

it’s about time – a phrase used to show that one is glad or relieved thatsomething has finally happened, and that one wishes it had happened sooner

* It’s about time you asked your boss for a raise! You’ve been with the companyfor 10 years, and they’re still paying you the same salary.

to make (something) work – to try very hard to make something be successful,especially when talking about a relationship

* They tried to keep the restaurant open, but in the end they just couldn’t make itwork and they had to close their business.

for a lack of trying – due to one’s unwillingness 2 to try to do something that isdifficult or unpleasant, usually used in the negative

* Nancy studied really hard, so if she fails the exam, it won’t be for a lack oftrying.

on (someone’s) part – referring to one person’s involvement or participation 3 insomething, or to one person’s opinion or belief about something

* There were a lot of bad feelings on Liu’s part. He has never been able toforgive his sister for what she did.

to bend over backwards 4 – to do everything possible to make somethinghappen, especially to make something easier for another person

* The customer service representatives are fantastic! They always bend overbackwards to solve their customers’ problems.

to please – to make someone happy or satisfied; to do or say something thatanother person will like

* Jessina always tried to please her parents by earning good grades in school.

to take (someone) for granted – to not appreciate another person and/or his orher actions and behaviors; to not recognize someone for the good things he orshe does

* Don’t let your boss take you for granted! Make sure she knows just how muchyou contribute to the team.

too good for (someone) – superior to someone; better than someone

* Becca’s parents have always thought their daughter was too good for their sonin-law, and it has really affected 5 Becca’s marriage.

on the surface – superficially 6; relating to how someone or something seems atfirst, before one really understands he, she, or it wel

l* Being a lawyer seems like a great career on the surface, but soon you realizehow much stress it involves.

slimeball – someone who does bad, sneaky, tricky 7 things and whom one doesnot want to spend time with because one does not respect him or her

* That guy is such a slimeball! He was dating three women at once, withoutletting them know it.

to appreciate (someone) – to value another person; to recognize the goodqualities or characteristics of another person and let that person know that he orshe is admired

* We really appreciate our employees, and we try to prove it to them by offeringgenerous compensation 8 and vacation leave.

to be able to do worse – a phrase used to talk about something that is notperfect, but is not bad and is actually better than many other similar things

* The job isn’t perfect, but he likes it and he could do worse.

to treat (someone) right – to be kind, thoughtful, and considerate towardanother person, not abusing or mistreating him or her

* Our nonprofit organization tries to help women whose boyfriends or husbandsdon’t treat them right.

Boy Scouts 10 – an organization that teaches boys practical skills, values, andstrong morals as they grow up

* Sammy learned how to survive in the wilderness 11, tie knots, and start a fire whilehe was in the Boy Scouts.

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. Why is Cameron sad that Melissa has left Eric?

a) Because they won’t be able to continue to work together.

b) Because she doesn’t like to see relationships end.

c) Because she thought they would get married.

2. What does Phil mean by saying that Melissa “bent 12 over backwards trying toplease Eric”?

a) She joined a gym and exercised to impress Eric.

b) She spent all her money to buy things for Eric.

c) She did everything she could to make Eric happy.

______________

WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

to leave

The verb “to leave,” in this podcast, means to choose to end a romanticrelationship with another person, especially when that other person does notwant to end the relationship: “What percentage of men leave their wife for ayounger woman?” The phrase “to leave home” means to move out of one’sparents’ home: “In the past, many Americans left home when they were 18 yearsold.” The phrase “to leave well enough alone” means to stop trying to change asituation because its current state is acceptable 13: “Politicians need to learn toleave well enough alone and stop making more silly laws for us to follow.”

Finally, the phrase “to leave it at that” is used to show that one will not continueto do more of something: “We’re about 80% done, so let’s leave it at that fortoday and finish the report tomorrow morning.”

to please

In this podcast, the verb “to please” means to make someone happy or satisfied,or to do or say something that another person will like: “It’s impossible to pleaseMr. Haftl! No matter what we say or do, he’s never content.” The phrase “if youplease” is put on the end of a command to make it very polite and a little oldfashioned:

“Close the window, if you please, so the cold air can’t get in.” Thephrase “as (one) pleases” is used to talk about someone doing something theway he or she wants to do it, without considering how other people think it shouldbe done: “Do you think parents should let their children do as they please, orshould they control their children’s activities?”

CULTURE NOTE

Legal SeparationSometime married couples who are having “marital” (related to marriage) troublechoose to “file for” (legally request) “legal separation” before they “divorce”

(officially end a marriage). Sometimes the people who are legally separated areable to “reconcile” (reach agreement) and continue living together as husbandand wife. Other people who are legally separated “end up” (ultimately) filing fordivorce.

Legal separation is a helpful tool to allow a husband and wife to make the legaland financial “arrangements” (plans) that will “govern” (control) their divorce. Forexample, legal separation can help the husband and wife “establish” (determine)who will pay bills, who will “retain” (keep) “jointly owned” (owned by both people)property, and whether “alimony” (payments made by a former husband to hisformer wife, or by a former wife to her former husband) should be paid.

Legal separation can also be helpful in “deciding custody” (legally determiningwho will take care of the children after a marriage ends). In the legal separation,the court may determine where the children should live and who should pay theirexpenses.

Other people file for legal separation because they believe divorce is wrong, orbecause their church does not allow it. They do not want to continue to bemarried, but they are not willing to get a divorce, so legal separation is a “viable”

(possible; acceptable) option.

In the United States, married couples can file for a legal separation in any stateexcept Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, and Texas.

______________

Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – b; 2 – c

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT 14

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 709: TakingSomeone for Granted.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 15 709. I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Our website is eslpod.com. You probably know that, but did you know that werely on – we count on your support to keep us going. Please consider becominga member of ESL Podcast by going to our website today.

This episode is a conversation between Phil and Cameron; Cameron is thewoman in the dialogue. It’s about taking someone for granted, always adangerous thing in a relationship. Let’s get started.

[start of dialogue]

Phil: Did you hear that Melissa has finally left Eric? It’s about time!

Cameron: Oh, that’s sad. It’s always sad when two people can’t make it work.

Phil: Well, it wasn’t for a lack of trying, on Melissa’s part. She bent overbackwards trying to please Eric and he always took her for granted. If you askme, Melissa was always too good for him.

Cameron: Really? I don’t know Eric too well, but he seemed nice.

Phil: Yeah, he’s nice on the surface, but he’s really a slimeball. Trust me, Iknow.

Cameron: I believe you, but what’s Melissa going to do now?

Phil: I think she should find a nice guy who’ll appreciate her.

Cameron: Someone like you?

Phil: She could do worse. I’d treat her right and make her happy.

Cameron: You sound like a man with a plan.

Phil: “Be prepared.” Isn’t that what the Boy Scouts say?

[end of dialogue]

Phil begins by saying to Cameron, “Did you hear that Melissa has finally left Eric?

It’s about time!” “Did you hear,” meaning did someone tell you or did you havethis information. The information is that Melissa – a girl, a woman – has finallyleft Eric. The expression “to leave (someone),” when we’re talking about aromantic relationship, is to end the relationship. Another way of saying thiswould be “to break up.” We often use “to break up” when we’re talking about twopeople ending their romantic connection – their romantic relationship, but youcan also simply use the verb “to leave.” “To leave” has many other meanings, ofcourse; those can be found – some of them – in our Learning Guide. Phil says,“It’s about time!” That’s a phrase to show that you are happy, you are relievedthat something has finally happened; you would hoped it would happen earlier,but now finally it has happened. Phil is happy that Melissa has left Eric.

Cameron says, “Oh, that’s sad. It’s always sad when two people can’t make itwork.” “Make it work” means to try very hard to make something successful.

You’ll often hear that when people are talking about relationships: “They couldn’tmake it work,” meaning they tried but it was not possible for them to continuetheir relationship.

So, Cameron is sad. Phil says, “Well, it wasn’t for lack of trying, on Melissa’spart.” He’s saying that Melissa tried to make it work. The expression “not for alack of trying” is used to mean that someone did try very hard; they did attempt todo something, especially something that was difficult or perhaps unpleasant. It’salmost always used in negative: “It’s not for a lack of trying that I was not able tovisit my brother today.” I tried very hard. I drove many miles, but the weatherwas bad and I wasn’t able to arrive on time; but it was not for a lack of trying,meaning I tried very hard. Phil says that Melissa tried very hard also. He usesthe expression “on Melissa’s part,” which means simply by Melissa. Phil saysthat Melissa bent over backwards to try to please Eric. “To bend overbackwards” is an expression that means to do everything possible for somethingto happen, especially when you are trying to make things easier for anotherperson. “Bent” is the past tense of the verb “to bend.” So, Melissa bent overbackwards, she tried very hard to please Eric. “To please,” as a verb, means tomake someone happy or to make someone satisfied. “Please” has othermeanings as well, and some of those are in our Learning Guide for this episode.

Phil says that Eric took Melissa for granted. “To take (someone) for granted”

means not to appreciate what another person is doing, to not appreciate his orher actions or behaviors, to not thank them, to not recognize that they are doing something for you. This is often something that might happen in a relationship:

you take the other person for granted. Husbands, do not take your wives forgranted, they will not be very happy – trust me, I know! So, Phil says that Erictook Melissa for granted. He says, “If you ask me (meaning if you want myopinion), Melissa was always too good for him.” When you say someone “is toogood for” someone else, you mean that they are better than someone, that thatother person was not as good as they are and that the other person did notdeserve to be with this person that you think is too good for the other one. So, ifMelissa is too good for Eric, that means that Eric is not as good a person asMelissa, and Melissa should try to find someone else.

Cameron says, “Really? I don’t know Eric too well, but he seemed nice.” Philsays, “Yeah, he’s nice on the surface, but he’s really a slimeball.” “On thesurface” means related to how you seem at first, before you really understand theother person; another word we might use is “superficially.” It means that itappears that a person is one way, but once you get to know them better yourealize that they aren’t that friendly, or they aren’t that nice, or they aren’t thatsmart, and so forth 16. Phil says that Eric is nice on the surface, but he’s really –he’s truly, actually – a slimeball. A “slimeball” (slimeball) is an informal worddescribing someone who you don’t want to spend a lot of time with because youdon’t respect him; you don’t think that he’s a good person. He does bad things;he does tricky things; he does things in secret, perhaps, that are not very nice, orhe’s not honest with the other person. It’s a very negative way to describesomeone, usually a man, often used to talk about a man who is not nice to hisromantic partners.

Phil says, “Trust me, I know.” Cameron says, “I believe you, but what’s Melissagoing to do now?” Phil says, “I think she should find a nice guy who’ll appreciateher.” Phil thinks that Melissa should get a new romantic partner, someone who isa nice guy who will appreciate her. “To appreciate” is the opposite of “to take forgranted. “To appreciate (someone)” is to recognize their good qualities, to valuethem, to let them know that you are happy, to thank them.

Cameron asks Phil, “Someone like you?” meaning should Melissa be yourromantic partner. Phil says, “She could do worse.” This is an interestingexpression. When you say someone “could do worse,” you’re talking aboutsomething that isn’t perfect, but it’s not bad, and it’s better than most other similarthings. In this case, Phil is saying that he’s not perfect – he’s not the perfectperson, but he’s a pretty good person, a good choice for Melissa. It’s often usedto talk about romantic relationships; when you say that someone could do worseyou mean that the person they are with isn’t perfect, but there are a lot of otherpeople who are worse. Phil says, “I’d treat her right and make her happy.” I would treat Melissa right, meaning I would be kind, I would be appreciative,thoughtful, nice, considerate of this person; I would not do bad things to them.

Cameron says, “You sound like a man with a plan.” “A man with a plan” issomeone who knows what he wants to do, who already has thought of things todo in order to accomplish what he wants to. Phil says, “‘Be prepared.’ Isn’t thatwhat the Boy Scouts say?” “The Boy Scouts” is an organization that teachesyoung boys practical skills, values, and so forth. I was a Boy Scout 9, I think, whenI was a young boy. The saying – the motto of the Boy Scouts – the expressionthat they use is “Be prepared,” meaning always be ready. In order to beprepared, of course, you have to work hard, you have to practice, you have totrain, and those are some of the values that the Boy Scouts are supposed toteach the young boys. There’s also, of course, the Girl Scouts, which is a similarorganization for young girls.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.

[start of dialogue]

Phil: Did you hear that Melissa has finally left Eric? It’s about time!

Cameron: Oh, that’s sad. It’s always sad when two people can’t make it work.

Phil: Well, it wasn’t for a lack of trying, on Melissa’s part. She bent overbackwards trying to please Eric and he always took her for granted. If you askme, Melissa was always too good for him.

Cameron: Really? I don’t know Eric too well, but he seemed nice.

Phil: Yeah, he’s nice on the surface, but he’s really a slimeball. Trust me, Iknow.

Cameron: I believe you, but what’s Melissa going to do now?

Phil: I think she should find a nice guy who’ll appreciate her.

Cameron: Someone like you?

Phil: She could do worse. I’d treat her right and make her happy.

Cameron: You sound like a man with a plan.

Phil: “Be prepared.” Isn’t that what the Boy Scouts say?

[end of dialogue]

We never want to take our scriptwriter for granted. We appreciate what shedoes. That’s why we thank her on the end of every ESL Podcast. Thank you,Lucy.

From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thank you for listening. Comeback and listen to us again here on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse,hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan, copyright 2011 by the Center for EducationalDevelopment.