American Old-time Radio Classic Favorites

American Old-time Radio Classic Favorites
Last Year's Christmas Bill （II）

Gracie: How do you do, are you Mr. Vanderlipp, the president of this bank?
Mr. Vanderlipp: I am.
Gracie: Well um, I wonder if you'd do something for me?
Mr. Van de Lith: I suppose you'd like me to 1)authorize 1 you a loan?
Gracie: I would not! Just because I'm alone don't think you can authorize me.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Madam...
Gracie: Do I look like the sort of a girl who can be authorized 2?
Mr. Vanderlipp: But I didn't...
Gracie: And you won't! I didn't come in here to be insulted.
Mr. Vanderlipp: But...
Gracie: I'll authorize.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Believe me I meant no harm. What is the nature of your business?
Gracie: Oh well I'd like a job in your bank.
Mr. Vanderlipp: I see, in what department?
Gracie: Uh how about the cheque room?
Mr. Vanderlipp: Cheque room?
Gracie: I want to get my hands on some cheques. I, I mean, I like to handle cheques.
Mr. Vanderlipp: At what bank were you previously 3 employed?
Gracie: Umm...
Mr. Vander Lith: Naturally I can check your record at any bank in the United Sates.
Gracie: Uh, I worked at the Bank of England.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Bank of England?
Gracie: Hip 4 hip.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Were you a 2)teller 5?
Gracie: Not me. I 3)jolly well kept my mouth shut.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Madam I do not believe you were employed by the Bank of England.
Gracie: You don't huh well just ask me some 4)banking 6 questions.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Very well. What would you do in the case of an 5)overdraft 7?
Gracie: Close the 6)transom. Next question.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Suppose we cease this 7)masquerade. You obviously know nothing whatever about banking.
Gracie: Then I don't get the job?
Mr. Vanderlipp: No.
Gracie: In that case put up your hands.
Mr. Vanderlipp: What?
Gracie: This is a 8)hold up.
Mr. Vanderlipp: You have no gun.
Gracie: Oh, well let's get back to the job.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Look I'm a busy man, what is this all about?
Gracie: Well I've got to 9)recover some cheques I wrote on this bank. You see I haven't got an account here and my husband says I'll go to jail.
Mr. Vanderlipp: And so you will unless something is done. Perhaps I could authorize you a loan?
Gracie: Ah there you go again!
Mr. Vanderlipp: Madam.
Gracie: When you get a girl alone that's all you think about authorize.
Mr. Van de Lith: Madam!
Gracie: And at your age.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Madam, please!
Gracie: Never! I'd rather go to jail. Goodbye you you you old authorizer you.
Mr. Vanderlipp: No!

(Gracie's husband George comes to the bank to see whether he can save her from being putting into prison.)

Mr. Vanderlipp: Now let me get this straight Mr. Burns, you want to take all the money out of your bank account and open one for your wife?
George: Yes, then those cheques she wrote will clear. That is if, you'll lend me a hundred dollars to go with it.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Uh, glad to lend you a hundred. Uh how about 10)collateral 8?
George: Why, Mr. Vanderlipp I've never need, I've never needed collateral, I've gotten where I am today on my face.
Mr. Vanderlipp: I believe you, shows considerable 11)wear and tear.
George: Well oh all I need is a hundred, I'll pay you back right away, why a man like me can make a hundred 12)in no time.
Mr. Vanderlipp: I'm sorry Mr. Burns.
Bill: Oh Mr. Vanderlipp.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Yes Mr. Goodwin!
George: Oh hello Bill, say Bill, tell Mr. Vanderlipp how quick I can make a hundred.
Bill: Oh no time at all Mr. Vanderlipp his next birthday ought to do it.
George: Oh fine.
Bill: Mr. Vanderlipp I'm about to make a 13)withdrawal 9 from my 14)safe deposit box. May I have the usual three armed guards?
Mr. Vanderlipp: Of course Mr. Goodwin.
George: Say Bill, you must have a fortune in that box?
Bill: Oh I have.
George: Could I a, could you lend me a little?
Bill: Sure George all you want. All right guards put the box down right here.
George: Boy.
Bill: I'll open it. There, uh now George how many pounds do you want?
George: Pounds? Bill what have you got in there?
Bill: Maxwell House coffee of course. What do you think I keep in a safe deposit box, junk like diamonds and money?
George: But Bill what I need is money.
Bill: George what good is money? Can money buy happiness? No. Can money buy 15)contentment? No. Can money buy a new car?
George: No no, but it can keep Gracie out of jail.
Bill: Out of jail?
George: Yeah, she wrote some bad cheques and unless I deposit some money for her she'll go to jail, so you can see why I need more than coffee.
Bill: Oh you're not kidding you need 16)doughnuts too.
George: Huh?
Bill: If Gracie goes to jail you're gonna starve.
George: Bill, I don't need any doughnuts.
Bill: Oh you're right George, Maxwell House is delicious all by itself.
George: OK if you don't want to lend me the money.
Bill: I'll lend you the money, here help yourself take all you want.
George: Gee 10 thanks Bill, now Gracie won't have to go to jail.
Bill: Good.

注释：
1) authorize [5C:WEraiz] v. 批准，授权
2) teller [5telE] n. （银行等的）出纳员，讲述者
3) jolly [5dVCli] ad. 很，非常
4) banking [5bANkiN] n. 银行业
5) overdraft [5EuvEdrB:ft] n. 透支
6) transom [5trAnsEm] n. 气窗，（门、窗等的）横档
7) masquerade [7ma:skE5reid] n. 化装舞会
8) holdup [5hEuldQp] n. 拦劫，打劫
9) recover [ri5kQvE] v. 重新获得
10) collateral [kC5lAtErEl] a. 附属担保的
11) wear and tear 磨损，折磨
12) in no time 立刻
13) withdrawal [wiT5drC:El] n. 收回，撤回
14) safe deposit （银行里的）贵重物品保险库
15) contentment [kEn5tentmEnt] n. 满意，满意
16) doughnut [5dEunQt] n. 炸面饼圈

美国经典广播剧回顾
去年圣诞节的帐单（下）

格蕾西：您好。您是这家银行的行长，范德利普先生吗？
范德利普先生：我是。
格蕾西：嗯，您可以帮我个忙吗 ？
范德利普先生：我猜您是想要我批准您的贷款吧？
格蕾西：才不是！别看我是单身一人就想着要占我的便宜。
范德利普先生：女士……
格蕾西：我看起来像那种可以随便让别人占便宜的女孩吗？
范德利普先生：但我不……
格蕾西：你也休想！我到这儿来可不是想遭受羞辱的。
范德利普先生：但是……
格蕾西：我说了算。
范德利普先生：相信我，我并没有恶意。您想办什么事？
格蕾西：哦，对了，我想在您的银行找份工作。
范德利普先生：我明白了，想去哪个部门呢？
格蕾西：呃，去支票室怎么样？
范德利普先生：支票室？
格蕾西：我想亲自捣鼓那些支票。我，我是说，我喜欢处理支票。
范德利普先生：你以前曾在哪家银行供职？
格蕾西：嗯……
范德利普先生：按规定我可以检查你在美国任何一家银行的记录。
格蕾西：呃，我曾在英国银行工作过。
范德利普先生：英国银行？
格蕾西：是呀是呀。
范德利普先生：你曾当过出纳？
格蕾西：我才没有呢，我的嘴巴总是闭得好好的。
范德利普先生：女士，我才不相信你曾在英国银行工作过。
格蕾西：不信？那你问我一些银行业的问题好了。
范德利普先生：好吧。在遇到透支时你会怎么做？
格蕾西：关上小窗。下个问题。
范德利普先生：别再演下去了。显然你对银行业一无所知。
格蕾西：那我没法得到一份工作了？
范德利普先生：不行。
格蕾西：这样的话，举起手来。
范德利普先生：什么？
格蕾西：这是打劫。
范德利普先生：你没枪。
格蕾西：哦，是啊，我们还是回到工作的问题上去吧。
范德利普先生：听着，我很忙，到底是怎么一回事？
格蕾西：我想取回我写给这家银行的一些支票。您瞧，我在这儿并没有帐户，我丈夫说，我会被送进监狱。
范德利普先生：除非干点儿别的什么你才不会进监狱。也许我可以批准你的一项贷款？
格蕾西：瞧您又来了！
范德利普先生：女士。
格蕾西：你在和一个女孩独处时，脑子里就想着占别人便宜。
范德利普先生：女士！
格蕾西：也不瞧瞧您多大岁数了。
范德利普先生：女士，别这样！
格蕾西：永远也别想！我宁愿进监狱。再见，你你你，你这个老想“占别人便宜”的家伙。
范德利普先生：不！

（格蕾西的丈夫乔治来到银行，看看有什么办法能救妻子，使其不至于被抓进监狱。）

范德利普先生：我这么说吧，伯恩斯先生。您想取出您户头上所有的钱，并想为您妻子开一个帐户。
乔治：是的。这样，她写的那些支票就可以兑现了。前提条件是，您如果可以借我一百美元的话。
范德利普先生：哦，很高兴借给您一百美元。进行担保怎么样？
乔治：怎么了，范德利普先生？我从不需要，我从不需要担保，我的这张脸就是信誉保证，到哪儿都是一样。 
范德利普先生：我相信你，看起来损耗得相当厉害。
乔治：我就需要一百美元，我会马上还给你的，像我这样的男人赚一百美元是小菜一碟。
范德利普先生：我很抱歉，伯恩斯先生。
比尔：哦，范德利普先生。
范德利普先生：古德温先生，什么事？
乔治：你好，比尔。我说比尔，告诉范德利普先生我赚一百美元有多容易。
比尔：哦，根本不需要时间，范德利普先生。等到他下一次生日就有一大笔进帐了。
乔治：哦，太好了。
比尔：范德利普先生，我想取消贵重物品保险库。我可以像往常一样叫上三名武装警卫吗？
范德利普先生：当然可以，古德温先生。
乔治：我说比尔，你那盒子里肯定有一大笔财富。
比尔：哦，是啊。
乔治：我能，你能借给我一点吗？
比尔：当然，乔治，你想借多少就借多少。好了，警卫，请把盒子放在这里。
乔治：天哪。
比尔：我要打开它了。好了，你想要多少磅，乔治？
乔治：磅？比尔，你在这儿放了些什么？
比尔：当然是麦氏咖啡了。你想我会在贵重物品保险库里存些什么，钻石或钱那些垃圾？
乔治：但是比尔，我就需要钱。
比尔：乔治，钱有什么好？钱能买来快乐吗？不能。钱能买来满足吗？不能。钱能买来一辆新车吗？
乔治：不能，不能。但它能救格蕾西，使她不至于进监狱。
比尔：不进监狱？
乔治：是啊。她写了些空头支票，除非我以她的名义存些钱，否则她就得进监狱。现在你明白了我为什么需要钱，更甚于咖啡。
比尔：你不是开玩笑吧，你还需要甜甜圈。
乔治：呃？
比尔：如果格蕾西进监狱，你就得饿死了。
乔治：比尔，我不需要甜甜圈。
比尔：你说得对，乔治，单喝麦氏咖啡就已经非常美味了。
乔治：好吧，如果你不想借我钱就算了。
比尔：我借给你钱，来吧，想拿多少就拿多少。
乔治：太谢谢你了，比尔。现在格蕾西就不会进监狱了。
比尔：太好了。