TED演讲:精神病测试的另类答案

 This story starts: I was at a friend's house,  故事的开头是这样的：我在一个朋友家里

and she had on her shelf a copy of the DSM manual, which is the manual of mental disorders 2.  在她的架子上有一本《DSM手册》，就是《精神疾病诊断与统计手册》
It lists every known mental disorder 1.  它列举了所有已知的精神疾病
And it used to be, back in the '50s, a very slim pamphlet.  而在50年代的时候，它还是本苗条的小册子
And then it got bigger and bigger and bigger, and now it's 886 pages long. 然后一步一步被增加成大胖子，现在已经有886页厚了
And it lists currently 374 mental disorders.  目前手册列举了374种精神疾病
So I was leafing through it,  所以我大致翻阅了一下
wondering if I had any mental disorders, and it turns out I've got 12. 好奇我是否有任何精神疾病，结果显示我得了12种
I've got generalized anxiety disorder, which is a given. 我得了广泛性焦虑症，这是与生俱来的
I've got nightmare disorder, which is categorized 我还得了梦魇症，这是根据分类得来的
if you have recurrent dreams of being pursued or declared a failure 只要你周期性地梦见被追逐或者被宣判失败
and all my dreams involve people chasing me down the street going, "You're a failure." 而我的梦里都有人在街道上追赶我，向我叫道,"你太失败了"
I've got parent-child relational problems, which I blame my parents for. 我还有亲子关系问题，这得归咎于我父母
I'm kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm kidding. 我开玩笑的，我还真没开玩笑。好吧，开玩笑的
And I've got malingering.  我还得了诈病症
And I think it's actually quite rare to have both malingering and generalized anxiety disorder, 我觉得同时拥有诈病症和广泛性焦虑症，这并不是很常见
because malingering tends to make me feel very anxious.  因为诈病症会让我觉得非常焦虑
Anyway I was looking through this book,  总之我浏览了这本书
wondering if I was much crazier than I thought I was,  惊讶我比我想象中还要不正常
or maybe it's not a good idea to diagnose yourself with a mental disorder  又或许给自己诊断精神病并不是一个很好的想法
if you're not a trained professional,  如果你不是一个受过培训的专家
or maybe the psychiatry 3 profession has a strange desire to label what's essentially 4 normal human behavior as a mental disorder. 又或许精神病学专家有一种怪癖，想要将正常的人类行为定义为精神疾病
I didn't know which of these things was true, but I thought it was kind of interesting. 我不知道这哪些是真的，但我觉得还蛮有趣的
And I thought maybe I should meet a critic of psychiatry to get their view. 然后我想我应该和一个精神病学评论家见一面，看看他有什么想法
Which is how I ended up having lunch with the Scientologists.  所以我就和一个科学论派学者共进午餐
It was a man called Brian who runs a crack team of Scientologists 他叫Brian，他管理着一个一流的科学论派团队
who are determined 5 to destroy psychiatry wherever it lies.  同时也下定决心捣毁所有的精神医学
They're called the CCHR.  他们被称为公民人权委员会
And I said to him, "Can you prove to me that psychiatry is a pseudo-science that can't be trusted?" 我就跟他说,"你能向我证明精神医学是一门不值得信任的伪科学吗？”
And he said, "Yes, we can prove it to you."  然后他说，“可以，我证明给你看。”
And I said, "How?"  我又问，“怎么证明？”
And he said, "We're going to introduce you to Tony."  他说，“我打算介绍Tony给你认识。”
And I said, "Who's Tony?"  我问，“谁是Tony？"
And he said, "Tony's in Broadmoor."  他说，“Tony现在在布罗德莫。”
Now Broadmoor is Broadmoor Hospital.  布罗德莫，就是布罗德莫精神病院
It used to be known as the Broadmoor Asylum 6 for the Criminally Insane.  过去被称为精神病犯人的庇护所
It's where they send the serial 8 killers 9 and the people who can't help themselves.  连环杀手就是被送到那里的，还有那些无法自控的人
And I said to Brian, "What did Tony do?"  我又问Brian，“Tony干过什么事？”
And he said, "Hardly anything.  他说，“基本什么也没干
He beat someone up or something, and he decided 10 to fake madness to get out of a prison sentence. 他好像打了人还是其他什么事， 然后他决定装疯以此逃过牢狱之灾
But he faked it too well, and now he's stuck in Broadmoor and nobody will believe he's sane 7. 但他装得太像了，现在就在那里出不来了，但没人相信他是正常的
Do you want us to try and get you into Broadmoor to meet Tony?"  你想让我们把你弄进去和Tony见面吗？”
So I said, "Yes, please."  然后我说，“嗯，劳烦你了。”
So I got the train to Broadmoor.  所以我踏上了前往布罗德莫精神病院的列车