时间:2019-01-03 作者:英语课 分类:趣味英语


英语课

                                                                    一


有一对外国老夫妇到内蒙古农村住了下来。因为村里的人无法和他们交流,老夫妇很寂寞,就养了一只猫。一天早上 ,老夫妇正梳理猫毛,一个人从旁边过来,冲着俩人说“鼓捣猫呢”。夫妇俩随即冲着来人说:“Good morning .”傍晚时分,二人正在把晾在外边的衣服收起来,路过的一个村民冲着他们说:“鼓捣衣服呢!”二人这回反应很快说:“Good evening.”私下里老夫妇俩感叹,合着他们这里的人都会说英语呀!


                                                                    二

小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
老师说:Go ahead.
小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
老师说:Go ahead.
小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不
去?
小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!


                                                                    三

一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感,于是对着男友说:“SAY ‘I LOVE YOU!! ’SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”
男的答道:“IT!”
                                                                    四 

一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left?
监考官回答: right. 于是他立刻向右转……

                                                                    五 


一天,我准备坐车去学校,正在路上走着,一辆车快速从我面前穿过,并且撞到一位正在观光的日本人。当然情况很是吓人,路边的好心 人立刻冲上前去问道:“How areyou?”日本人上气不接下气的回答:“F..ine,th..ank you...and you?”围观的人顿时愣住。。。由此可知日本人的英文是死记硬背的! 

                                                                    六 

中国建设银行——CBC (Construction Bank of China) ——“存不存?”
中国银行  ——BC (Bank of China)——“不存。”
中国农业银行——ABC (Agriculture Bank of China)— —“啊,不存”
中国工商银行——ICBC (Industry and Commercial Ba nk of China)——“爱存不存”
招商银行  ——CMBC——“存吗??白痴!”
兴业银行  ——CIB——“存一百”
北京市商业银行——BCCB (Beijing City Commercial B ank)——白存存不?”
汇丰银行  ——(HSBC)还是不存”



标签: 趣味英语搞笑
学英语单词
.der
ability to architect plans and strategies
Adenophora potanini Korsh.
advance metal
albinocratic
anisotropic liquid
Avnslev
band course
barium azodicarboxylate
bell morels
broadening vision in management
buccinator artery
carbon nanotube-based electrochemical dna sensor
cathartica
Cauvet
change-over knob
cheapsat
cherrypie
compact COBOL
compline
convex surface (or dorso-lateral surface)
counter staining
counterflow rapid action mixer
cryogenic biology
cryogenic gyroscope
Cryptotaxis
crystal growth by sintering
Cyronine
dc servo motor
deceiptful
decisieverts
design power
dibbling machine
diffuse bipolars
direct access storage device(dasd)
disflourish
double-handedness
drinkabler
Echinostoma lindoensis
Entomoplasmatales
epitonium taiwanica
examination and approval authority
false maculae
faunal
fixed wireless data
forhevedness
fortunel
go to the doctor
guisarmes
Gutenberg, Johannes
hagia sophias
hypogene anomaly
in former days
in place density
infantry man
integrifolium
jaculate
law report
leiomyosarcoma of kidney
lignin number
lime plant
littuit
Lumbricus
manual ringing telephone
mechanical sealed main coolant pump
megakeryoblast
mercury dibromide
mobile videotape recorder
modified refractivity
moving-bed catalytic reforming
nidifying
nighest
Normes Francaises
NW by W
Omoprostil
orchidaceous corolla
owners declaration
paradoxures
Paramobil
plastic relay house
proloculus
pure blue
put dibs on
quees
quickplay
remonstration
shoe divider
steam jet air pump
strategic minefields
suggestopedy
sulfating
surface trap density
sylvia
Tadzhiki
to swell
two-sided manifold
uang
ultraacoustics
Virchow's node
water-softener
wean someone from
Zapocoz