时间:2019-01-03 作者:英语课 分类:趣味英语


英语课

                                                                    一


有一对外国老夫妇到内蒙古农村住了下来。因为村里的人无法和他们交流,老夫妇很寂寞,就养了一只猫。一天早上 ,老夫妇正梳理猫毛,一个人从旁边过来,冲着俩人说“鼓捣猫呢”。夫妇俩随即冲着来人说:“Good morning .”傍晚时分,二人正在把晾在外边的衣服收起来,路过的一个村民冲着他们说:“鼓捣衣服呢!”二人这回反应很快说:“Good evening.”私下里老夫妇俩感叹,合着他们这里的人都会说英语呀!


                                                                    二

小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
老师说:Go ahead.
小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
老师说:Go ahead.
小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不
去?
小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!


                                                                    三

一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感,于是对着男友说:“SAY ‘I LOVE YOU!! ’SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”
男的答道:“IT!”
                                                                    四 

一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left?
监考官回答: right. 于是他立刻向右转……

                                                                    五 


一天,我准备坐车去学校,正在路上走着,一辆车快速从我面前穿过,并且撞到一位正在观光的日本人。当然情况很是吓人,路边的好心 人立刻冲上前去问道:“How areyou?”日本人上气不接下气的回答:“F..ine,th..ank you...and you?”围观的人顿时愣住。。。由此可知日本人的英文是死记硬背的! 

                                                                    六 

中国建设银行——CBC (Construction Bank of China) ——“存不存?”
中国银行  ——BC (Bank of China)——“不存。”
中国农业银行——ABC (Agriculture Bank of China)— —“啊,不存”
中国工商银行——ICBC (Industry and Commercial Ba nk of China)——“爱存不存”
招商银行  ——CMBC——“存吗??白痴!”
兴业银行  ——CIB——“存一百”
北京市商业银行——BCCB (Beijing City Commercial B ank)——白存存不?”
汇丰银行  ——(HSBC)还是不存”



标签: 趣味英语搞笑
学英语单词
access manager
acquired immune deficiency syndromes
adiabatic curve
ailurophiles
amplified interpretation
Ant-Vireo
Antonia
atomic angular momentum
attachment flange
automatic bypass valve
babyishly
baitshops
Bembridae
bemeant
Blastocladiales
censor out
ciprofibrate
colour-serjeant
comb ... hair
concho-grass
crinkley
daemonophobia
Decaspermum esquirolii
Dryopteris fragrans
eaved
Europa, Pta.de
evaporator strip holder
farras
ferroprotoporphyrin
froth flotation
fuddling
full wave rectifier
genus Placuna
grease pits
half-height drive
have someone's guts for garters
Hawtrey, Mt.
holes in pattern
in-thing
indirect discrimination
indirect-arc furnace
istake measure
japao
katsuwonus pelamiss
keramite (mullite)
license plate
longbeards
lounge around
manual removal
marjayouns
meet sb halfway
methyl p-methyl benzoate
model following
mucopolysaccharide-N-acetylneuraminylhydrolase
none-kin
nonsonorous
odd moment
offskip
oil flinger
on my case
otelo
pancratic lens
Periyār R.
perpetuum mobile of the first kind
piledriver
pole jumps
product introduction
pronouncement of judgment
pulse-phase system
quarion
REA Rural Electrification Administration
recursive descent parser
scabricola ocellata
scheduling model
schlottmann
scurfy
sealing effect
secondary homonym
secondary metal
self-operated control valve
sociology departments
squeeze mouding machine
sridevi
standard hour system
statutory assignee
styrene-acrylonitrile copolymer
sufferances
taper thimble
thin-layer chromatogram
transmission-utilization ratio
trintignant
tubular(tracheal)sound
two-pence
underutilize
unheled
V and T
vapo(u)rizability
Vicia tenuifolia
wagon control computer
wire rope detector
year dot
zabras