Top 91 Ways To Be Annoying

 　　1.Adjust the tint 1 on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to

　　others that you "like it that way".
　　2.Drum on every available surface.
　　3.Sing the Batman theme incessantly 2.
　　4.Staple 3 papers in the middle of the page.
　　5.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
　　6.Produce a rental 4 video consisting entirely 5 of dire 6 FBI copy warnings.
　　7.Sew anti-theft detector 7 strips into people's backpacks.
　　8.Hide dairy products in inaccessible 8 places.
　　9.Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
　　10.Specify 9 that your drive-through order is "to go".
　　11.Set alarms for random 10 times.
　　12.Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public entirely
　　of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
　　13.Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
　　14.Order a side of pork rinds with your filet 11 mignon.
　　15.Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
　　16.Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the
　　volume properly adjusted.
　　17.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking 12" noise.
　　18.Honk 13 and wave to strangers.
　　19.Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
　　20.Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
　　21.Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental
　　movies.
　　22.Wear your pants backwards 14.
　　23.Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary
　　mints by the cash register.
　　24.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
　　25.Rouse your roommates from slumber 15 each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal
　　Machine Music".
　　26.Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
　　27.ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. only type in lowercase. dont use any punctuation 17
　　either
　　28.Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones 18 and reroute whole streets.
　　29.Pay for your dinner with pennies.
　　30.Tie jingle 19 bells to all your clothes.
　　31.Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
　　32.Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
　　33.Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ OJ
　　Simpson conspiracy 20 theories.
　　34.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
　　"What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
　　35.Light road flares 21 on a birthday cake.
　　36.Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
　　37.Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
　　38.Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
　　39.Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
　　40.At the laundromat, use one dryer 22 for each of your socks.
　　41.When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until
　　physically 23 restrained.
　　42.Wear a cape 16 that says "Magnificent One".
　　43.As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
　　44.Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling 24, as they read.
　　45.Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
　　46.Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song.
　　47.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
　　48.Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
　　49.Try playing the William Tell Overture 25 by tapping on the bottom of your
　　chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
　　50.Drive half a block.
　　51.Name your dog "Dog".
　　52.Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
　　53.Ask people what gender 26 they are.
　　54.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
　　55.Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in
　　the tray.
　　56.Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
　　57.Forget the punchline 27 to a long joke, but tell the listener it was a "real
　　hoot 28".
　　58.Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you
　　don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
　　59.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a
　　can of Lysol.
　　60.Deliberately 29 hum songs that will remain lodged 30 in co-workers' brains, suc
　　h as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
　　61.While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
　　62.Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
　　63.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
　　64.Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
　　65.Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in
　　the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce
　　each A.
　　66.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
　　they slow down.
　　67.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
　　68.Invent nonsense computer jargon 31 in conversations, and see if people play
　　along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
　　69.Wear a LOT of cologne.
　　70.Ask to "interface 32" with someone.
　　71.Listen to 33 rpm records at 45 rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is
　　necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
　　72.Sing along at the opera.
　　73.Mow 33 your lawn with scissors.
　　74.At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
　　75.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy 34".
　　76.Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
　　77.Go to a poetry recital 35 and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
　　78.Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble 36 their answers in a
　　notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
　　79.Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't
　　cricket."
　　80.Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
　　81.Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
　　82.Scuff 37 your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
　　83.Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward
　　silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
　　84.Never make eye contact. Never break eye contact.
　　85.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
　　86.Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
　　87.Construct your own pretend "tricorder";"scan" people with it, announcing
　　the results.
　　88.Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard
　　Cossell voice.
　　89.Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
　　90.Make appointments for the 31st of September.
　　91.Invite lots of people to other people's parties.