疯狂情景会话真功夫 70.Whispering Love

Imagine that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. One day, long ago,

[00:02.51]设想男人是来自火星，女人是来自金星的。很久以前，

[00:05.02]the Martians, looking into their telescopes, discovered the Venusians.

[00:07.26]有一天火星人用望远镜向远处了望时，发现了金星人，

[00:09.51]Just glimpsing the Venusians awakened 1 feelings they had never known.

[00:11.40]匆匆一瞥，唤醒了火星人，心中沉睡的感情。这种感情他们还从未知晓。

[00:13.30]They fell in love and quickly invented space travel and flew to Venus.

[00:15.48]他们坠入爱河并很快发明了太空旅行，

[00:17.66]The Venusians welcome the Martians with open arms.

[00:19.12]飞往金星。金星上的女人们张开双臂迎接他们。

[00:20.58]The love between the Venusians and Martians was magical.

[00:22.36]火星男人与金星女人之间的爱情真是奇妙。

[00:24.14]They delighted in being together, doing things together and sharing together.

[00:26.71]他们高高兴兴地共同生活，一起工作、同甘共苦，

[00:29.28]Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from different planets, and were supposed to be different.

[00:32.82]他们都忘了彼此是来自不同的星球，忘了应有的差异。

[00:36.36]And one morning, everything they had learned about their differences was erased 2 from their memory.

[00:39.68]一天早晨，火星人和金星人彻底忘却了彼此间的差别。

[00:43.00]And since that day, men and women have been in conflict.

[00:45.52]也就是从这天起，男人与女人之间开始发生冲突。

[00:48.04]The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that men don’t listen.

[00:51.00]女人对男人最多的抱怨是男人不会倾听。

[00:53.97]Either a man completely ignores her when she speaks, or he listens for a few beats,

[00:56.59]当女人说话时，男人不是完全不理不睬，就是听了一会儿，

[00:59.22]assesses what is bothering her, and then he proudly puts on his Mr.Fix-it hat,

[01:01.64]掂量掂量困扰女人的问题，然后骄傲地

[01:04.05]and offers her a solution to make her feel better. No matter how many times she tells him that he’s not listening,

[01:07.40]抛给女人一个解决方案以及安慰她就算完了。无论女人多少次跟他抱怨说他没有在倾听，

[01:10.74]he doesn’t get it, and he keeps doing the same thing. She wants empathy, he thinks she wants solutions.

[01:15.47]他就是不懂，依然重蹈覆辙。女人需要神入，可男人以为她需要的是解决方案。

[01:20.20]The most frequently expressed complaint men have about women is that women are always trying to change them.

[01:23.62]男人最常抱怨女人们总试图改造自己。

[01:27.04]When a woman loves a man, she feels responsible to assist him in growing and tries to help him improve the way he does things.

[01:30.81]女人爱上男人时，便觉得自己有责任来帮助他成长，并试图帮助男人改进做事的方式。

[01:34.59]She forms the Home Improvement Committee, and he becomes her primary focus.

[01:37.61]女人成立了家庭促进会，首要目标就是男人。

[01:40.62]No matter how much he resists her help, she persists, waiting for an opportunity to help him or to tell him what to do.

[01:45.06]无论男人怎样拒绝她的帮助，女人却一再坚持，伺机帮助他或是告诉亿该做什么。

[01:49.51]She thinks she’s nurturing 3 him, while he feels he’s being controlled.

[01:52.09]女人认为自己是在教养男人，而男人却觉得自己受到控制。

[01:54.68]Martians value power, competency, efficiency, and achievement.

[01:57.38]男人崇尚权力、个人能力以及成功。

[02:00.08]Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve results.

[02:02.67]他们对自己的定义源于取得成功的能力。

[02:05.26]Achieving goals is very important to a Martian, because it is the way for him to prove his competence 4 and thus feel good about himself.

[02:09.67]对他们而言，达到目标举足轻重，因为这能证明他们自身的能力，会让他们感觉良好。

[02:14.09]And for him to feel good about himself, he must achieve these goals alone, by himself.

[02:17.18]而男人要想自我感觉不错，就必须独立自主地取得种种成功。

[02:20.28]To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own.

[02:24.55]在男人看来，不请自到的建议就是认为他们不知道该做什么，不能独自取胜。

[02:28.82]Men are very touchy 5 about this, because the issue of competence is so very important to them.

[02:32.05]对此他们非常恼火，因为个人能力对于他们太重要了。

[02:35.27]However, if he truly does need help, then it’s a sign of wisdom to get it.

[02:37.86]然而，倘若男人确实需要帮助，取得帮助亦是明智之举，

[02:40.44]In this case, he’ll find someone he respects and then talk about his problem.

[02:43.30]在这种情况下，他会找一位自己敬重的人来谈谈自己的困难。

[02:46.16]Talking about a problem on Mars is an invitation for advice.

[02:48.23]男人谈论困难就是请求他人提供意见。

[02:50.29]Another Martian feels honored by the opportunity. Automatically, he puts on his Mr.Fix-it hat,

[02:53.56]被请求的人会因此深感荣幸，并自然而然地摆出问题解决大师的架子。

[02:56.82]listens for a few beats, and then offers some jewels of advice. This Martian custom is one of the reasons men instinctively 6 offer solutions when a woman talks about her feelings or about her problems.

[03:04.18]听对方诉说，然后提供宝贵的建议。男人的这种习俗在一定程度上导致了男人在倾听女人谈论自己的情感和困惑时，本能地提供答案。

[03:11.53]Venusians have different values. Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships and their communication.

[03:16.45]金星人有不同的价值观。她们对自我的感觉是在感情、与人相处的好坏以及交流中界定。

[03:21.38]They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating.

[03:23.48]在诉说感情和彼此联系中女人获得满足。

[03:25.58]Communication is of primary importance.

[03:27.62]交流对于她们尤为重要。

[03:29.66]To share their personal feelings is much more important than achieving goals or success.

[03:32.75]分担感情远比达到目的重要，

[03:35.85]Talking and relating to one another is a source of tremendous fulfillment.

[03:38.20]交谈与联系是让她们感到满足的巨大源泉之一。

[03:40.55]Instead of being goal-oriented, women are relationship oriented. They are more concerned with expressing their goodness,

[03:44.93]不同于是男人的注重目的，女人注重的是关系。她们更在意表达善意、

[03:49.30]their love, their caring. Venusians are very intuitive.

[03:51.65]友爱和关怀。女人直觉敏锐，

[03:54.00]They pride themselves on being considerate of the needs and feelings of others.

[03:56.79]她们引以为豪的就是能处处为他人的需求和情感着想。

[03:59.57]A sign of great love is to offer help and assistance to another Venusian without even being asked.

[04:02.87]不经邀请而主动向同伴提供帮助，这在她们眼中是伟大的爱的展示。

[04:06.18]Without this insight into the nature of men, it is very easy for a woman to unknowingly and unintentionally hurt and offend the man she loves most.

[04:11.38]女人不洞悉男人的天性，就很容易在不知不觉中伤害了挚爱的男人。

[04:16.57]Love is magical, and it can last if we remember our differences.

[04:19.44]爱情神奇而微妙，唯有大家都记住男女之间的差异，爱情才会永恒。