生活大爆炸 第五季:第23集 艾米和谢尔顿关系进一步发展(上)

 Howard Wolowitz. Hey, Howard. Dave Roeger here at NASA. 霍华德·沃洛维茨。嘿，霍华德，我是美航局的戴夫·勒格尔

We need to talk about your upcoming mission. 我们要谈谈你即将到来的任务
Yes, yes, I've been doing my push-ups. 好的，我有坚持做俯卧撑
I'm still stuck at nine, but... 还是只能做九个，但...
...that's going all the way down with no one holding me. 已经不用人抱着我来做了
That's great, uh, but that's not why I called. 很好，但我不是想说这事
We've run into a bit of a snafu. 我们这边出了点状况
Your Soyuz capsule failed the pressurization test, so bottom line, mission's been scrubbed. 你的联盟号太空舱增压测试失败，所以任务取消了
You're kidding. So what does that mean? 你逗我呢，这是什么意思?
Boy, I got to tell you, I'm really disappointed. 天啊，我真的很失望
This was my dream ever since I was a little kid. 这是我从小的梦想
Okay, well, uh, thanks for the call. 好的，谢谢你致电
Yep, you, too. Yes! Thank you! 好，你也是。耶! 谢天谢地!
I'm not gonna die in space! 我不会死在太空了!
I'm gonna die the way God intended, in my late 50s, with a heart full of pastrami. 我会按照上天安排，在快六十岁时，因熏牛肉塞爆心脏而死
I'm going to need a larger shirt. 我需要件大点儿的衬衫
This one's a little tight under the arms. Okay. 这件腋下有点紧。好的
Do you think maybe it's tight because you're wearing long underwear? 会不会是因为你穿了连身秋衣?
Yes, of course that's why it's tight. 是的，所以才会紧嘛
All right, let me rephrase the question. Why are you wearing long underwear? 好吧，我改变下问法，你为什么要穿连身秋衣?
You're kidding. Shouldn't the question be: why aren't you? 你逗我呢，不是该我问"你为什么不穿"吗?
No, it should be: why are you? 不，应该是，你为什么要穿?
Leonard, these rental 1 tuxedos 3 have been worn by hundreds of sweaty strangers. 莱纳德，这些出租的燕尾服，被几百号汗流浃背的陌生人穿过
I don't like my own sweat touching 4 my skin, how do you think I feel about theirs? 我连自己的汗都不喜欢，他们的汗就更别说了
Why don't you slip this on? 试试套下这件吧?
Said the hangman offering a noose 5. 说得好像要给我戴脖套绞刑一样
Well, that wasn't as entertaining as when he rents bowling 6 shoes, but it was right up there. 虽然没有他去租保龄球鞋时搞笑，但也差不多了
Well, that's it. 就这样了
My orders have been rescinded 7. I am officially "no go" to space. 我的任务取消了，我正式去不成太空了
I'm sorry, Howard, but I got to tell you, I'm a little relieved you're not going. Why? 很遗憾，霍华德，但我为你松了口气呢。为什么?
Come on, you were gonna go up in a rocket designed in the 1960s by the Russians.  不是吧，你要乘60年代，苏联人设计的火箭上太空。
Yeah, so? When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, " 是的，所以呢?你啥时候听过有人在百思买说
Ooh, check out this Blu-ray player, it must be good, it was built in Russia"? "看看这个蓝光播放器，肯定很棒，因为是苏联制造的"
Well, their technology isn't that bad. 他们的技术没那么糟啦
When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule, you free-fall from space at 500 miles per hour, 当你乘联盟号太空舱返回地球时，会以时速500英里自由下落
and the only thing that slows you down is a little parachute that pops out right before you crash into the ground. 帮你减速的只有一把小小的降落伞，在你快撞上地面时才撑开
And the whole thing was designed by the same brilliant minds who were unable to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle. 设计整套装备的这堆天才连"飞鼠"和"洛基"（美动画片两主角，反派为苏联人）都逮不到
All right, well, whatever. I wasn't worried. 好吧，随便了，我没担心过
You weren't? 你没有?
Let me explain the difference between you and me. 我给你解释解释我俩的不同之处
You watch Star Trek 8; I live it. 你看"星际迷航"我活在其中
Oh, please.I don't remember the episode of Star Trek where the guy never goes to space and brags 9 about it in a tuxedo 2 store. 拜托，我可不记得，"星际迷航"里面有人从没上过太空就在一家燕尾服店夸夸其谈了
Make all the jokes you want, but there's only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did. 你就开玩笑吧，但我们中只有一个人，有胆量去做我差点做了的事
Ah, much better. 好多了
You must be burning up. 你肯定热死了吧
A little. 有点吧
But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them. 但肯定没你们的尿道沾上，这些裤子上的鬼东西后，那么烧得慌
Well... I cut quite the dashing, yet hygienic figure, don't I? 我真是有型又卫生啊，是吧?
I look like the Flash about to get married. 好像准备结婚的闪电侠
A tissue!  A tissue! Oh, good Lord! 纸巾! 有纸巾! 老天爷呀!
Uh, where's he going? 他去哪儿?
He keeps emergency Purell in the car. 他把手部消毒液放在车里，以防紧急情况
Keys! Keys! Keys!  车钥匙，车钥匙，车钥匙!
Hey, you. Before I come in, you should know, I have gas. 嘿，你好。进来前得先告诉你，我带了气，（也有"我爱放屁"的意思）
For the record, not your worst opening line. 这不算是你最烂的开场白
Check it out. It's the gas I use in my free-electron laser to support high voltages. 看这个，我的自由电子激光器，就是用这种气体来支撑高电压
But it also has an interesting secondary use. 但它还有第二种有趣的用法
Here.Breathe this in. 来，吸里面的气
B-Before I do it, if you're a cop you have tell me, right? 在吸之前，如果你是警察，你得表明身份，是吧?
Just try it. Okay. 试试。好的
What's it supposed to... 有什么...
Oh, my God, that's so freaky! 天呐，好恐怖啊!
You're a mean one  Mr. Grinch. 你真坏，圣诞怪杰（见金凯瑞同名电影）
Okay. Me, me, me. Ready? 到我了，到我了，准备好没?
Leonard, I am your father. 莱纳德，我是你爸
I have never been more attracted to a woman who sounds like a man in my life. 我这辈子还从没这么喜欢过，公鸭嗓的女人
Hey... you know how we've been... taking things slow? 嘿，我们一直在...慢慢来
Well, I've been thinking, and... 那个，我在想...
maybe I'm ready to... take things a little... faster. Oh, Great. Uh huh. 或许我已经准备好...加快点速度了。太好了。嗯。
And I promise, after waiting four months, fast is what you're gonna get. 我保证，在等了四个月后，我肯定很"快"
You know, just-just one thing. Look, we're in a really great place right now, and I don't want to do anything that will make stuff all weird 10 again. 只有一件事，我们现在的关系很好，我不想把事情再弄尴尬
So we won't let it get weird. Okay. 那我们就别把它弄尴尬。好的
Oh, and just a heads-up... mm, since the last time you saw me naked, I got a Cookie Monster tattoo 11. 提醒一下，你上一次见完我裸体后，我去纹了个饼干怪（"芝麻街"中人物）
The acceptable responses when you see it are "awesome 12" or nothing. 你见到后，只能称赞，或者啥都不说
What about... Cookies! 那..."饼干"呢?
Amy? Amy? Amy? 艾米？艾米？艾米？
7:00, right on time. 七点整，刚刚好
It's not an accident. 不是刚好
I waited outside your door for 20 minutes. 我已经在你家门口，等了二十分钟了
Well, dinner's almost ready. 饭马上好了
I must say, I was surprised you chose to spend our date night in your apartment. 我很惊讶，你会选择在家约会
As I mentioned, the Pasadena City Council is debating longer crosswalk times, 我提过，帕萨迪纳市议会正就，人行道时间延长问题进行讨论
and later, the LEGO store is having a midnight madness sale. 之后乐高专卖店有一个，午夜疯狂大甩卖
You ask anyone, that's a hot date. 你问谁，谁都会说去那儿约会不错
Tempting 13 choices, but I have something special planned for tonight. 是很诱人，不过我为今晚做了些特别的准备
What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny LEGO Indiana Jones? 什么能比有充足的时间穿过街道去乐高买迷你印第安琼斯更特别呢?
With our friends moving forward in their relationships, I've decided 14 that we should make progress in ours as well. 咱朋友的感情有所发展，我认为我们也该如此
Oh, dear Lord. Two years ago, we didn't even know each other, and now I'm in your apartment after dark. 老天爷啊，两年前我们连对方是谁都不知道，而现在，天黑后我却在你家里
How much faster can this thing go? 进展还不够快吗
I had a feeling you'd be reluctant, which is why I'm going to dip into my neurobiological bag of tricks. 我知道你不情愿，所以我要施展一些，神经生物学的小把戏
Oh, you brain monkeys kill me. Dip away. 你们这种脑科猴子还想弄我?算了吧
I have devised an experiment that I believe will increase your feelings for me in an accelerated time frame. 我相信我的实验，能让你在短时间内更喜欢我
And how do you propose to do that? 你要怎么做
Uh, hope you're not thinking about some sort of LSD thought control. 希望不是想通过迷幻药控制我
Because there's only one mind-expanding drug that this man enjoys, and that's called school. 因为只有一种迷幻药对这位有效，就是，学校（也有"增知药"的意思）
Human beings form emotional attachments 15 as they grow up. 人类在成长时会形成情感依恋
In your case, to your mother, superheroes, et cetera. 对你来说就是，母亲，超人，等等
I'm going to attempt an experiment that will get you to transfer those feelings to me. 我想通过实验，将你对他们的感情转移到我身上
Well, seems what's on the menu tonight is malarkey with a big side of poppycock. 看来今晚的主题就是，说一些不着边际的大话。
We'll see. Let's start with a little romantic dinner music, shall we? 走着瞧，先来点浪漫的晚餐音乐吧
Super Mario Bros. theme? Yes. 超级玛丽主题曲?是的
I see what you're doing. 我知道了
You're attempting to build on the work of Ebbinghaus by triggering an involuntary memory of me playing that game, 你想以艾宾浩斯记忆曲线为原理，不知不觉中触发我对该游戏的记忆，
admittedly the happiest 600 hours of my childhood... 那是我童年中最快乐的600个小时
...but it won't work. Fine. 不过没有用，好吧
There's no reason we still can't have a lovely dinner. Why don't you have a seat. 这不会影响我们爱的晚餐，请坐
May I offer you something to drink? 想喝点什么吗
You know I don't drink. 你知道我不喝酒的
Not even... strawberry Quik? 草莓牛奶也不喝吗
I love strawberry Quik. 我爱死草莓牛奶了
It's my favorite pink fluid, narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol. Oh, I know. 我最爱的粉色饮品，比"佩托比斯摩"略胜一筹（一种粉色液态胃药）。我知道的
I think it will go nicely with what I have prepared... for dinner. 我想这饮料应该跟，我今晚准备的饭菜很搭
Spaghetti with little pieces of hot dog cut up in it! 加热狗片的意大利面
Just like your mommy used to make. Oh... yummy, yummy! 和你妈妈做的一样。好吃，好吃
We should do this more often. 我们应该经常这样
I'm sorry.I did, I crossed a line. I didn't mean to! 很抱歉，我是有些过分了，我不是故意的
Who says something like that right in the middle of sex? ! 谁会在做爱时说那种话?
I don't know, it just came out. 我也不知道，就那样脱口而出了
People say weird things during sex all the time. Okay, well, they sure as hell don't say that. 人们在做爱时，都说奇怪的话，他们绝不会说那种话
It was the heat of the moment. 这不是高潮了嘛
No, the heat of the moment is, "Ooh, yeah, just like that, " not "will you marry me? 高潮时该说"爽，就这样"而不是"嫁给我好吗?"
"I'm sorry. Just-just give me another chance. 真的抱歉，再，再给我一次机会吧
Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, want to go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools? 为什么，然后你又可以在床上说..."亲爱的，想去找间，附近有好学校的房子吗? "
Again, I'm sorry. You know, with Howard and Bernadette getting married, I got caught up in a little wedding fever. 我再说一次，抱歉。霍华德和伯纳黛特要结婚了，我也有些着急
I take it back. 我收回那句话
You can't take something like that back. I mean, what are we even supposed to do now? 那种话怎么收回啊，我们现在应该怎么办
Okay, at some point, we'll look back and this is going to be a funny story. 说不定以后咱们想起这事，就一笑而过了
Why don't we just start doing that now? 何不从现在开始
You're kidding. No. 开什么玩笑。真的
Hey, do you remember... 你记得吗...
...that time when I proposed to you in bed? 那次我在床上向你求婚
And you were all, like, "What are you doing? " 你的反应就像说，你干吗呢
That was so funny. So funny. 这真好笑，太好笑了
It's not funny. 一点也不好笑
Give it a minute. 你再琢磨琢磨
Is that a little smile I see there? 小嘴是不是笑啦?
I should go. 我该走了