生活大爆炸 第五季:第24集 霍华德和伯纳黛特终于结婚啦(上)

 Previously on The Big Bang Theory: 《生活大爆炸》前情提要：

Who says something like that right in the middle of sex? ! I don't know. It was the heat of the moment! 谁嘿咻了一半会说这种话? !说不清，不是高潮了嘛
No, the heat of the moment is "Ooh, yeah, just like that. 不，高潮时该说"爽，就这样"
"Not, "Will you marry me?" 而不是"你愿意嫁给我吗?"
NASA really wants my telescope up on the Space Station, so they're putting me on an earlier launch. 美航局很想把我的望远镜，用在空间站上，所以他们要先把我弄上去
When? A week from Friday. 啥时候?下周五
What? We're getting married that Sunday. 啥? 下周日可是我们的大喜之日
You're right. I can't go to space. I have to get married. No one can say that's not a good reason.I'll call them back. 你说得对，我不能去太空，我还得结婚呢，这是个好借口，我给他们回个电话
We'll have the wedding when you get back. 要不我们等你回来，再举行婚礼吧
Your dad's going to be furious. There's no way he's going to let us postpone 1 this wedding.Well, we tried. 你老爸会气死的，他不会同意推迟婚礼的，我们已经尽力了
I'll talk to him.He won't say no to his little girl. 我来和他说，他不会拒绝自己乖女儿的
No!  I, uh, I should talk to him.Man to man. 不，我去和他谈，男人的事男人解决
All right, look, I'm going to level with you. 好吧，听着，说实话
I'm terrified about going into space. 要去太空这事把我吓懵了
You know, what if I don't make it back? 要是我一去不复返了呢?
It's going to be okay, son. 没事的，孩子
You really think so? Of course. 你真这样想?当然
A pretty girl like Bernadette, she'll find a new guy. 伯纳黛特那么漂亮，她会找到新欢的
Hey, Mike? Yeah? 嘿，麦克?啥事?
I changed my mind. I don't want to do this. 我改主意了，我不想去太空
Good one. Yeah, I'm a funny guy. 笑话不错，对，我很幽默
I also have a hysterical 2 bit planned for later where I pretend to cry through the whole launch. 我还有个超搞笑的点子，起飞全程，我都会假装大哭
Sheldon, what channel is NASA TV? 谢尔顿，美航局是几频道?
289, right between the Game Show Network at 288 and the East coast feed of the Disney Channel on 290. 289，在游戏频道288和迪斯尼东岸频道290之间
I love his eidetic memory, it's so sexy. 我爱死他的过目不忘了，超性感的
Sheldon, what are the ingredients in Pringles? 谢尔顿，品客薯片里有啥成分?
Dried potatoes, vegetable oil, corn flower, wheat starch 3, maltodextrin, salt, and my favorite ingredient of all, uniformity. 干土豆片，植物油，玉米粉，小麦粉，麦芽糊精，食盐，还有我最爱的，混合均匀
The uterus quivers, does it not? "湿"性大发，有木有?
There's Howard's rocket, live from Kazakhstan. 霍华德在那火箭里，哈萨克斯坦现场直播
Oh, God, I'm so nervous. I don't think I can watch. 天哪，我好紧张，我都不敢看了
You're nervous? I've been stress-eating for four days. 紧张? 我已经四天食不知味了
Look at me. I'm wearing my fat pants. 看我，裤带渐宽
Remarkable 4. In just under a half hour, 200 metric tons of fuel will ignite in a controlled explosion right beneath Howard's keister. 不可思议。半小时后，200吨燃料将被点燃，在霍华德的屁股下引发一场可控爆炸
And all from a country whose entire contribution to the global economy, has been Tetris and mail-order brides. 而主办国家对世界的，主要经济贡献则是...俄罗斯方块和网购新娘
Give me those damn Pringles. 把薯片给我
Okay, we're in the final countdown.How you doing over there? 好了，要倒计时了，你还好吧?
Good! Good! Oh, quick question, I missed it in the briefing. How much urine do these suits hold? 好极了!一个小问题，刚我漏听了。这宇航服能装多少尿来着?
Hey, Froot Loops, want to hit your fan switch? Check. 嘿，果脆圈，试下你的风扇开关吧？没问题
He calls you Froot Loops because of your very gay haircut? 他叫你果脆圈是因为，你娘炮的发型吗?
No, it's...'cause I live with my mom and she makes me Froot Loops. 不，因为我和我妈住一起，她会给我泡果脆圈
Go with gay story, people are more accepting of that. 就说是因为发型太娘吧，别人更好接受
Actually, Froot Loops just got married to a girl. Congratulations. 实际上，果脆圈刚和一姑娘结婚了。恭喜
Thanks, we decided 5 to do it before the launch. 谢谢，我们决定在上天前结婚
You and Mrs. Loops have a big wedding? 你和果脆圈夫人的婚礼盛大不?
Not exactly. Listen, if you don't mind, I'm not really up for chatting. I'm just going to sit here quietly and let my life flash before my eyes. 不算吧，听着，不介意的话，我现在不太想聊天，我要静静坐着，在脑海里回顾我的一生
That went really quick. Let me try it again. 回顾得太快，重新试一次
Close your eyes. Put out your hand. I got you something special. 闭上眼，伸出手，我给你准备了份特别礼物
Come on, Howard. I'm not falling for that again. No, here... 得了吧，霍华德，我再也不上当了。不是啦，在这呢
Oh, Howie. A little star. It's beautiful.  华仔，小星星，好美
Put it on me. Okay, but I'm going to have to get it back for you, so I can take it to the International Space Station. 帮我戴上。好的，但我得先留着，这样我就可以带去国际空间站
That way, when I come home, you will have a star that was actually in space. 当我回来的时候，你将会有一颗，真正从太空带回来的星星
My God! Take that, every guy who's ever bought you anything. 天哪！傻了吧，以前送过你东西的哥几个
This is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten. 这是我收过最棒的礼物了
Really? Well, if you like it that much, then close your eyes and put out your hand. 真的? 要是你这么喜欢，闭上眼睛，伸出手
I'm going to the supermarket to buy snacks for your trip! 我去超市给你买旅行要带的零食!
Do you want me to get those little boxes of Froot Loops you like? ! 你要小盒装的果脆圈吗? !
No! When I eat Froot Loops, the other astronauts make fun of me! 不，我一吃果脆圈，别的宇航员就笑话我!
Howard, I don't want to wait until you're back to get married. What? 霍华德，我不想等你回来再结婚。你说什么?
I want to be married to you before you get in that rocket. 我想在你走进火箭之前，和你结婚
But I'm leaving in two days. 但我两天后就走了
What about Apple Jacks 6? ! 苹果脆片怎么样? !（同为一款儿童麦片）
I don't need to take cereal! 我不用带麦片!
What kind of breakfast do you think they're going to give you in Russia? ! 你知道在俄罗斯，他们早饭会喂你吃啥?
They invented blintzes! I'll be fine! 薄饼卷是他们发明的，没事的!（薄饼卷犹太食品）
They invented the light bulb in New Jersey 7! It doesn't mean they hand them out to you when you go! 新泽西人还发明了灯泡呢，他们发明了又不一定会给你
We'll have a quick little ceremony with just our friends, and we'll still have the big reception with everyone when you get back. 我们举行个简单仪式，只有朋友出席，等你回来，再补办一场大的
Wow! Okay. Let's get married. 哇哦！好，我们结婚吧
You know what, I'll buy you All-Bran in case you get stopped up in outer space. 以防你在外太空便秘，我给你买全麦麦片吧
So anyway, we decided to go down to City Hall this afternoon get married, and then have the reception when Howard gets back. 我们决定今天下午，去市政厅登记结婚，然后等到霍华德回来再办婚宴
Great! That's so good! I mean, we know it's short notice, but we'd love you all to come with us. No, no, no, this is not the wedding I wanted! 太棒了!那真好!我知道这通知太临时了，但我希望大家能一起去，不，这不是我要的婚礼!
I want to wear my maid of honor dress and walk down the aisle 8 with a hundred eyes on me, while a string quartet plays"The Way You Look Tonight. 我想穿着我的伴娘礼服，万人瞩目下走过红毯，同时弦乐乐团演奏着，"今夜你的容颜"（30年代电影插曲）
"That wasn't going to be our processional music. Well, it was going to be mine! 我们的进场音乐不是那首啊。是我的进场音乐!
Thank you for the invitation, but I have to decline because it doesn't sound like something I'll enjoy. 谢谢你们邀请我，但我必须谢绝，因为听起来，不像是我会喜欢的样子
Come on, Sheldon, it'll be fun. 来吧，谢尔顿，会很有趣的
That's what you said about The Green Lantern movie. 你也是这么说电影"绿灯侠"的
You were 114 minutes of wrong. 你错了114分钟(电影全长)
So, what do you say, Amy? 艾米，你怎么说?
Can I wear my maid of honor dress? 我能穿我的伴娘礼服吗?
Seriously? You're going to wear that thing to City Hall? It's all I have left!  You're going to take that from me, too? ! 真的? 你要穿着它去市政厅?我只剩下它了，连它你都要夺走?
Amy, you look great. I know. 艾米，你真美，我知道
Where'd you get a beer? 你从哪儿弄的啤酒?
From that happy young couple over there with all the tattoos 9. 那边那对满身纹身的，幸福小情侣给我的
Beautiful story: they're in rival drug gangs, and they're getting married. 美丽的故事，他们身处对立的贩毒团伙，却执意要结婚
Shh, no one can know. 嘘，谁也别说哦
Look at all these people in love. 看看这些深陷爱河的人
It kind of gets you thinking, doesn't it? 这有点引人思考，是吧?
It does, indeed. 确实是的
Leonard... is it awkward being here with Penny given that you recently proposed to her? 莱纳德，你最近向佩妮求婚失败，跟她来这儿会不会有点尴尬?
You proposed to Penny? I don't want to talk about it. 你向佩妮求婚了?我不想讨论这个
Where did he pop the question? What did you say? She said,"No." Can we drop it now? It wasn't a real proposal. 他在哪里求的婚?你怎么回答的?她拒绝了，能别聊这个不?那并不算真正的求婚
Why wasn't it a real proposal? He asked her during coitus. 为什么呢?他在交媾时问的
Did you get down on one knee or where you already there? 你有单膝下跪吗，还是已经跪着了?
Howard, don't talk like that on your wedding day. 霍华德，今天你结婚，别这么猥琐
Sorry, Ma... Bernadette. Ma... Burna... You're ma Bernadette. 对不起，妈，伯纳黛特，妈，你是妈...伯纳黛特
Good move telling Sheldon. 不错嘛，都跟谢尔顿说了
What, I can't propose? I can't talk to my friends? Is there anything else I'm not allowed to do? All right, that's enough. 怎么，我不能求婚?不能跟我朋友说?还有别的啥事，你不准我做吗?好了，够了
Today is not about you two. 今天的主角不是你们两个
Today is about Howard and Bernadette and me. 今天的主角是霍华德，伯纳黛特和我
Folks, can I have your attention. 各位，大家注意听了
It's 5:00, we're going to be able to take three more couples. The rest of you will have to come back on Monday. 已经五点了，我们还能再登记三对，没登上的下周一再来吧
Oh, no. I got this. 哦，不，我来处理
Excuse me? But is there any way you could squeeze us in? See,  打扰下，你能帮我们插个队吗?是这样，
I'm an astronaut and I'm leaving for Russia on Sunday, so  我是个宇航员，星期天，我就要出发去俄罗斯了，然后
I can take a Soyuz rocket to the International Space Station. Yeah, me, too. I'll see you there. 坐联盟号火箭去国际空间站。当然，我也是呢，到时候见
I can't believe we're not going to get married. 真不敢相信我们结不成婚了
Excuse me, I'm going to go see if the couple at the front of the line needs a maid of honor. 不好意思，我去看一下前面那对，是否需要伴娘
So, I tell my wife,"Get a dog, don't get a dog, I'm not walking it, I'm not feeding it, I'm not picking up after it." 我跟我老婆说，"养不养狗随便你"，反正我不遛，我不喂，我不跟它屁股后面收拾"
"You know you're going to wind up walking it. I know. 你知道你还是会去遛它的。我知道
Uh, shouldn't you guys be talking about space stuff instead of dogs? 你们能先别讨论狗狗，聊点太空的事吧
Dimitri, Froot Loops would be more comfortable if we talked about space stuff. 迪米特里，如果咱聊点太空的事，果脆圈会更安心些
Okay, I'm going into space, and when I come back, I have to pick up a poodle crap. 好，我就要上太空了，我回来后，又得去收拾狗大便了
Is that better? Thanks. 这样好点吗?谢谢
You know, we could always drive to Vegas and get married. 我们可以开车去维加斯结婚
No, it's that kind of tacky? 不，那不会有点俗气吗?
Hey, I know tons of people who got married in Vegas. 我认识的人里，好多都在维加斯结的婚
Are any of them still married? 他们还婚着呢?
Yeah, I mean, not to the same people but... 对，虽说换了个人吧...
There's got to be some place special we could do it. 我们肯定能找到个，特别的地方来办婚礼