TED演讲:电击疗法如何改变了我(5)

 　　And they tried everything they had. 住院后，医生尽其所能。

　　They tried the usual psychotherapy. 他们试了常规的心理疗法，
　　They tried every medication available in those days. 也尝试了那个时候所有可能的药物。
　　And they did have Tofranil and other things -- Mellaril, who knows what. 他们用了盐酸丙咪嗪和其他药-,硫醚嗪，谁知道。
　　Nothing happened except that I got jaundiced from one of these things. 什么疗效都没有，除了害我得了黄疸病。
　　And finally, because I was well known in Connecticut, 最后，因为我在康涅狄格州很出名，
　　they decided 1 they better have a meeting of the senior staff. 他们决定组成专家组开个会。
　　All the senior staff got together, and I later found out what happened. 所有的高级专家聚在一起，后来我才知道。
　　They put all their heads together and they decided that there was nothing that could be done 他们集体讨论的结论是，他们无能为力了
　　for this surgeon who had essentially 2 separated himself from the world, 因为患者已经和世界脱节，
　　who by that time had become so overwhelmed, 完全垮了。
　　not just with depression and feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy 3, 不仅是郁闷感受无价值的和无能的感觉，
　　but with obsessional 4 thinking, obsessional thinking about coincidences. 还有无法摆脱的强迫性思考，满脑子在想各种巧合
　　And there were particular numbers that every time I saw them, 有一些特别的数字，每次我看到
　　just got me dreadfully upset -- all kinds of ritualistic observances, just awful, awful stuff. 都让我有种痛苦，还有各种怪癖，糟糕透了。
　　Remember when you were a kid, and you had to step on every line? 记得小时候走路，你要踩到地上每条线吗？
　　Well, I was a grown man who had all of these rituals, 我曾是个有这些怪癖的成年人，
　　and it got so there was a throbbing 5, there was a ferocious 6 fear in my head. 脑中有种可怕的恐惧。
　　You've seen this painting by Edvard Munch 7, The Scream. 你们看过孟克的画“呐喊”。
　　Every moment was a scream. 每个时刻都在呐喊。
　　It was impossible. So they decided there was no therapy, there was no treatment. 这是非常可怕的。所以医生认为我无药可救了，没有办法治疗。
　　But there was one treatment, 但是有一个方法，
　　which actually had been pioneered at the Hartford hospital in the early 1940s, 这个方法在19世纪40年代曾经在Hartford医院率先使用过，
　　and you can imagine what it was. It was pre-frontal lobotomy. 你可以想象这是什么方法。前脑叶白质切除术。
　　So they decided -- I didn't know this, again, I found this out later 所以医生决定-不让我知道这一切。我后来还是知道了
　　that the only thing that could be done was for this 43-year-old man to have a pre-frontal lobotomy. 唯一能做的就是，对于这个43岁的男人前脑叶白质切除术。
　　Well, as in all hospitals, there was a resident assigned to my case. 就像所有的医院一样，有一个住院医生被指派给我。
　　He was 27 years old, and he would meet with me two or three times a week. 他27岁，他每周跟我见2-3次面。
　　And of course, I had been there, what, three or four months at the time. 我当时在医院住了3-4月。
　　And he asked to meet with the senior staff, and they agreed to meet with him 他跟其他资深的医生会诊,资深医生同意跟他会诊
　　because he was very well thought of in that place. 因为他是个深思熟虑的人。
　　They thought he had a really extraordinary future. 他们认为他前途无量。
　　And he dug in his heels and said, 他坚持说，
　　"No. I know this man better than any of you. I have met with him over and over again. “我比你们任何一个人都清楚这个病人，我们见过很多次面。
　　You've just seen him from time to time. You've read reports and so forth 8. 你们只是偶尔探视他，看看他的病历。
　　I really honestly believe that the basic problem here is pure depression, 我相信他的病就是单纯的忧郁症，
　　and all of the obsessional thinking comes out of it. 以及伴随的强迫性思考。
　　And you know, of course, what'll happen if you do a pre-frontal lobotomy. 你们当然知道进行前额叶切除的后果。
　　Any of the results along the spectrum 9, 任何情况都可能发生，
　　from pretty bad to terrible, terrible, terrible is going to happen. 从不太理想到不堪设想，非常非常糟糕，都有可能发生。
　　If he does the best he can, he will have no further obsessions 10, 如果手术非常成功，他将不再会强迫性思考，
　　probably no depression, but his affect will be dulled, 也许不再忧郁，但是他的情感会迟钝，
　　he will never go back to surgery, 他也许无法在做外科医生，
　　he will never be the loving father that he was to his two children, his life will be changed. 也无法再成为他两个孩子的慈祥的父亲，他的人生从此改变。
　　If he has the usual result, he will end up like 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.' 如果是一般的手术结果，他会像“飞跃杜鹃窝”一样，
　　And you know about that, just essentially in a stupor 11 the rest of his life." 终生痴呆恍惚。