TED演讲：肢体语言塑造你自己(12)

 　　When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident. 在我19岁的时候，发生了一场很严重的车祸。

　　I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times. I was thrown from the car. 我整个人飞出车外，滚了好几圈。我是被扔出车外的。
　　And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward 1, and I had been withdrawn 2 from college, 之后我在休息室醒来以后，头部重伤，于是我从大学里休学，
　　and I learned that my IQ had dropped by two standard deviations 3, which was very traumatic. 我获悉我的智商下降了2个标准差，情况非常非常糟糕。
　　I knew my IQ because I had identified with being smart, and I had been called gifted as a child. 我知道我的智商应该是多少，因为我以前被人家认为是很聪明的那种，小时候大家都觉得我很有才华。
　　So I'm taken out of college, I keep trying to go back. 当我离开大学时，我尝试着回去。
　　They say, "You're not going to finish college. 他们说，“你没有办法毕业的。
　　Just, you know, there are other things for you to do, but that's not going to work out for you." 你知道，你还可以做很多其它的事，别往死胡同里钻了。”
　　So I really struggled with this, and I have to say, having your identity taken from you, your core identity, 我死命挣扎，我必须承认，当你的认同感被剥夺的时候，那个主要的身分认同
　　and for me it was being smart, having that taken from you, there's nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that. 就我而言是我的智力被夺走了，再没有比这更加无助的时候了。
　　So I felt entirely 4 powerless. I worked and worked, and I got lucky, and worked, and got lucky, and worked. 我感到完全的无助。我疯狂地努力，幸运眷顾，努力，幸运眷顾，再努力。
　　Eventually I graduated from college. 最终我从学校毕业了。
　　It took me four years longer than my peers, and I convinced someone, my angel advisor 5, Susan Fiske, to take me on, 我比同龄人多花了四年的时间，然后说服我的恩师Susan Fiske，让她带上我，
　　and so I ended up at Princeton, and I was like, I am not supposed to be here. I am an impostor. 所以我最后进入了普林斯顿，我当时觉得，我不应该在这里。我是个骗子。
　　And the night before my first-year talk, and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people. That's it. 在我第一年演讲的那个晚上，普林斯顿第一年的演讲大约是对20个人做20分钟的演讲。就这样。
　　I was so afraid of being found out the next day that I called her and said, "I'm quitting." 我当时如此害怕隔天被拆穿，所以我打给她说，“我不干了。”
　　She was like, "You are not quitting, because I took a gamble on you, and you're staying. 她说：“你不可以不干，因为我赌在你身上了，你得留下。
　　You're going to stay, and this is what you're going to do. You are going to fake it. 你会留下来，你要骗过所有人。
　　You're going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do. 你被要求的每个演讲你都得照办。
　　You're just going to do it and do it and do it, even if you're terrified and just paralyzed and having an out-of-body experience, 你得一直讲一直讲，即使你怕死了，脚瘫了，灵魂出窍了，
　　until you have this moment where you say, 'Oh my gosh, I'm doing it. Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this.'" 直到你发现你在说：“噢，我的天啊，我正在做这件事，我已经成为它的一部分了，我正在做它。”
　　So that's what I did. Five years in grad school, a few years, you know, I'm at Northwestern, I moved to Harvard, I'm at Harvard, 这就是我所做的。硕士的五年，我在西北大学，我后来去了哈佛，我在哈佛，
　　I'm not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking, "Not supposed to be here. Not supposed to be here" 我没有在想到，但之前有很长一段时间我都在想这件事，“不应该在这。”