“文言文”中译英:原来也能译的这么美!
英语课
看了那么多政府外宣类翻译,想来大家也学会了不少,今天咱们换换风格,来段古文翻译,测试一下自己多大能耐。
翻译原文1
吾辈凡夫,生存在功利社会,终日忙忙碌碌,为柴米油盐所困,酒色财气所惑,既有追求,又有烦恼,若想做到从心所欲,难矣哉!
乍一看,感觉好难,该从哪儿下手呢?有点找不着北的节奏。“柴米油盐”、“酒色财气”这是要翻译出各自对等的事物么?那么该怎么翻译呢?给你两个译文版本,你来选择哪个更牛:
译文一
It is hardly possible, if not impossible, for common folks to follow their mind while living in such a hectic 1, materialistic 2 world where one struggles to meet subsistence needs while fighting off sensual temptations and deals with a perplexing mix of lofty aspirations 3 and worldly distractions 4.
译文二
We ordinary people, living in a utilitarian-oriented society, rush about all day long, vexed 5 by daily necessities like fuel, rice, cooking oil and salt, and tempted 6 by cardinal 7 vices 8 such as wine, women, avarice 9 and pride. What an immense difficulty to follow our hearts’ desire in the face of conflicts between pursuits and cares.
小编偷偷问一句:你的译文是不是跟第二个有几分相似?两个版本对比一看,很容易就看出哪个更好了。小编我选择第一篇译文。
一起跟小编看一下大神(韩刚老师)的分析:
1. 该句第一眼看去似乎难以驾驭,但是如果抓到句子的核心信息,做到轻重有别就不难处理了。
认真分析后会发现句子的核心是“吾辈凡夫在这个社会里想要做到从心所欲很难”,前面的信息都是说明功利社会的,属于事实背景部分,一般要放在从句或插入成分中。这样,分清主次后才能开始构思句子的搭建。
2. A. 在行文时,“为......所困”和“为......所惑”这些词属于动词,可以隐去,从写作的高度重新组织行文;
B. “柴米油盐”和“酒色财气”属于中文具体词,英译时不能直接对等,需要进行提炼概括;
C. “既有追求又有烦恼”属于前后对比,在行文时尽量添加适当的形容词修饰以增强语感。
翻译原文2
可惜远行奔波间,车马劳顿,总是行色匆匆,山水的怡情悦目,都如过眼的云烟,只不过领略了一个大概,不能去探寻幽僻的妙境。
“圆形奔波”,“车马劳顿”,“行色匆匆”,“怡情悦目”,“过眼烟云”……一大波四字成语。先不说怎么翻译这些四字表达,想想这是什么逻辑关系,字字都要译么?
先来看译文赏析:
大神译文:
Yet fatiguing/tiring/exhausting/ long-haul journeys basically mean that I can only get a sketchy 10 picture/glimpse of enchanting/engrossing/inviting/engaging/amazing/arresting natural landscape that greets me along my way as I hurry along to attend to business, with little time left to explore remote, less spoiled serenity 11.
网友译文:
It is regretful that my rushing on the long journeys leaves me heavy with the fatigue 12 of travel and unable to savor 13 the soothing 14 and pleasing landscape of mountains and waters. Their tranquil 15 beauty fades away like floating clouds, leaving only a vague impression without the exploration of the secluded 16 realm of beauty.
看看大神(韩刚老师)给我们的分析:
1. 这句的逻辑关系需要认真揣摩。句子大意或主体框架是“奔波劳顿使得我只能大概领略怡情的景色,匆匆忙忙而没有多少时间去探寻妙境”,这样C-C-E梳理后句子自然就容易处理了。
2. A. 具体行文时,“远行奔波、车马劳顿”属于同义重复,减译为“fatiguing journeys”,添加“mean”表示原因,
B. “过眼的云烟”和“只能领略大概”属于同义重复,减译为“get a sketchy glimpse of”,
C. “行色匆匆”通过“as”连接表示理由,“hurry along to attend to business”急匆匆去公干,最后添加“with”补充说明造成的后果。
看完这两个翻译,你学到了什么?其实,不管翻译什么,第一步肯定要知道原文表达的意思,在分析理解的基础上翻译;当然,更重要的是,知道中英文结构的差异:中文结构“前轻后重”,中文结构事实、背景在前,表态、判断、结论在后,英文恰恰相反,是“前重后轻”。结构差异了然于胸,“表态判断为主,事实背景为从”,在翻译时有了这样一个主从句框架搭建原则,逻辑一目了然,译文自然“行云流水”!
adj.肺病的;消耗热的;发热的;闹哄哄的
- I spent a very hectic Sunday.我度过了一个忙乱的星期天。
- The two days we spent there were enjoyable but hectic.我们在那里度过的两天愉快但闹哄哄的。
a.唯物主义的,物质享乐主义的
- She made him both soft and materialistic. 她把他变成女性化而又实际化。
- Materialistic dialectics is an important part of constituting Marxism. 唯物辩证法是马克思主义的重要组成部分。
强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 ); 志向; 发送气音; 发 h 音
- I didn't realize you had political aspirations. 我没有意识到你有政治上的抱负。
- The new treaty embodies the aspirations of most nonaligned countries. 新条约体现了大多数不结盟国家的愿望。
n.使人分心的事[人]( distraction的名词复数 );娱乐,消遣;心烦意乱;精神错乱
- I find it hard to work at home because there are too many distractions. 我发觉在家里工作很难,因为使人分心的事太多。
- There are too many distractions here to work properly. 这里叫人分心的事太多,使人无法好好工作。 来自《简明英汉词典》
adj.争论不休的;(指问题等)棘手的;争论不休的问题;烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 );使苦恼;使生气;详细讨论
- The conference spent days discussing the vexed question of border controls. 会议花了几天的时间讨论边境关卡这个难题。
- He was vexed at his failure. 他因失败而懊恼。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
v.怂恿(某人)干不正当的事;冒…的险(tempt的过去分词)
- I was sorely tempted to complain, but I didn't. 我极想发牢骚,但还是没开口。
- I was tempted by the dessert menu. 甜食菜单馋得我垂涎欲滴。
n.(天主教的)红衣主教;adj.首要的,基本的
- This is a matter of cardinal significance.这是非常重要的事。
- The Cardinal coloured with vexation. 红衣主教感到恼火,脸涨得通红。
缺陷( vice的名词复数 ); 恶习; 不道德行为; 台钳
- In spite of his vices, he was loved by all. 尽管他有缺点,还是受到大家的爱戴。
- He vituperated from the pulpit the vices of the court. 他在教堂的讲坛上责骂宫廷的罪恶。
n.贪婪;贪心
- Avarice is the bane to happiness.贪婪是损毁幸福的祸根。
- Their avarice knows no bounds and you can never satisfy them.他们贪得无厌,你永远无法满足他们。
adj.写生的,写生风格的,概略的
- The material he supplied is too sketchy.他提供的材料过于简略。
- Details of what actually happened are still sketchy.对于已发生事实的详细情况知道的仍然有限。
n.宁静,沉着,晴朗
- Her face,though sad,still evoked a feeling of serenity.她的脸色虽然悲伤,但仍使人感觉安详。
- She escaped to the comparative serenity of the kitchen.她逃到相对安静的厨房里。
n.疲劳,劳累
- The old lady can't bear the fatigue of a long journey.这位老妇人不能忍受长途旅行的疲劳。
- I have got over my weakness and fatigue.我已从虚弱和疲劳中恢复过来了。
vt.品尝,欣赏;n.味道,风味;情趣,趣味
- The soup has a savor of onion.这汤有洋葱味。
- His humorous remarks added a savor to our conversation.他幽默的话语给谈话增添了风趣。
adj.慰藉的;使人宽心的;镇静的
- Put on some nice soothing music.播放一些柔和舒缓的音乐。
- His casual, relaxed manner was very soothing.他随意而放松的举动让人很快便平静下来。
adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的
- The boy disturbed the tranquil surface of the pond with a stick. 那男孩用棍子打破了平静的池面。
- The tranquil beauty of the village scenery is unique. 这乡村景色的宁静是绝无仅有的。
adj.与世隔绝的;隐退的;偏僻的v.使隔开,使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词)
- Some people like to strip themselves naked while they have a swim in a secluded place. 一些人当他们在隐蔽的地方游泳时,喜欢把衣服脱光。 来自《简明英汉词典》
- This charming cottage dates back to the 15th century and is as pretty as a picture, with its thatched roof and secluded garden. 这所美丽的村舍是15世纪时的建筑,有茅草房顶和宁静的花园,漂亮极了,简直和画上一样。 来自《简明英汉词典》
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