搞笑:老外教你如何把妹

 -- I could totally get a girlfriend if I actually tried.

-- Shut up! 只要我认真去，我一定能把到妹。闭嘴
Thousands of people are building relationships online at our site. What are you doing? You're probably just looking like a loser sitting on a couch with like a strap 1 sweatshirt and some stupid hippy haircut. 很多很多人在我们的网站上找到另一半。你呢，在做什么？或许你就像个笨蛋一样坐在沙发上，穿着条纹汗衫，头上有个难看的发型。
-- Five, six, seven, eight. 五、六、七、八...
-- Hey, Anthony, can you help me with...Are you practicing for Circus De Olay again? 嘿，Anthony，你可以帮我一下吗？你又在练太阳马戏团的舞吗？
-- No...? What do you want? 才不是！你想怎么？
-- Can you...Help me get a girlfriend? 你可以...帮我找女朋友吗？
-- All you gotta do is act like a jerk, girls eat that crap up like strawberry cheese cake. Like this hottie tottie over here. Watch and learn! 你只要演得像个笨蛋就行。女孩最爱这套，就像爱草莓起司蛋糕一样爱。看那边的正妹！看着学吧！
Rule #1: Act like a jerk. 守则1：演笨蛋
-- Hey, Can I see your water bottle? 嘿，我可以看一下你的水杯吗？
-- Em...sure. 呃...好啊。
What are you...? 你在干...
-- So you wanna make out? 你想跟我亲热吗？
-- You sure you all right? 你确定你没事吗？
Lesson learned, don't be a jerk.上了一课，就是不要当笨蛋。
-- I'm fine! Okey? Now watch me impress some ladies with my manliness 2. Come on. 我没事好吗。现在看我怎么样用男子气概去吸引女生吧。来吧
Rule #2: Show your manliness. 守则2：展现男性魅力
-- I can feel the burn. Hey. 我感觉像在燃烧。嘿！
-- Ew! You should really use some Stainguard deodorant 3 or something! Those yellow stains are disgusting. 拜托你用点体香剂什么的！那些黄色的污渍恶心死了。
Lesson learned, girls hate yellow. 上了一课，就是女生都讨厌黄色。
-- So, er, no luck with her either? 所以说，你运气也很背嘛。
-- Whatever! Okey? she gave me some stains deodorant though, look, no more yellow stains and smell my pits! 随便吧，反正她给了我一支超强的体香剂。看！没有黄色的污渍了。来，闻闻我腋下。
-- No, I'm... 不，我...
-- Dude, come on smell them! 来吧，快闻一下。
-- I don't wanna smell your... 我不想闻你的...
-- Smell my damn pits! 见鬼，闻我的腋下！
-- Oh! Actually smells pretty good! 咦，不错。
-- Yes, see? Oh, dude, check this out, I'm gonna use the same awesome 4 to get this girl that I used to get my last girlfriend. 是吧？看，我要用把前女友的方法去把这个妹。
-- Dude she's hot! 她是个辣妹！
-- Come on man! 来吧
Rule #3: Use your secret weapon. 守则3：出动秘密武器
-- Hey girl, what's... 嘿，小姐。
-- Run!!!! 快跑！
Lesson learned, make sure it's not a man. 上了一课，就是要确定那不是个男的。
-- You know you still haven't... 其实你还是没...
-- Okey, I know I haven't. You're just dwelling 5 off my game! You want me to get a girl? Huh? 你老是破坏我的好事。你要我把妹给你看吗？
-- All right, I'll do it, watch！好，我现在就去，看着吧
Rule #4: Don't limit your options. 守则4：不要限制你的选择
-- Just, please go out with me? 跟我约会吧！
-- No. 不。
-- Please? 拜托
-- No! 不。
-- I could get you another strawberry cheese cake, I could get like, five! 我可以多给你一个草莓起司蛋糕。我可以给你5个。
-- No!!! 不！！！
Lesson learned, women eat food. 上了一课，就是女生是吃食物的。
-- Come on, I have some really good... 拜托啦，我很棒的。
-- I'm never gonna get any girls ! 我永远也不可能有女朋友了！
-- Oh~ you poor baby. 噢，可怜的小宝贝。
-- What? Why? What the hell are you doing? 什么？！为什么！你在干什么？！
-- This poor boy was crying, and then I, I gave him my phone number to see if he wanted to talk about his feelings later. 这可怜的小宝贝在哭，所以我把我的电话号码给他了。看他待会儿想不想倾诉一下。
Send this video to a friend who can't get a girlfriend, or boyfriend. 把这段影片给没有女友的朋友看，或没有男友的朋友。




点击收听单词发音  






1
strap

  
 


n.皮带，带子；v.用带扣住，束牢；用绷带包扎


参考例句：





She held onto a strap to steady herself.她抓住拉手吊带以便站稳。
The nurse will strap up your wound.护士会绑扎你的伤口。












2
manliness

  
 


刚毅


参考例句：





She was really fond of his strength, his wholesome looks, his manliness. 她真喜欢他的坚强，他那健康的容貌，他的男子气概。
His confidence, his manliness and bravery, turn his wit into wisdom. 他的自信、男子气概和勇敢将他的风趣变为智慧。












3
deodorant

  
 


adj.除臭的；n.除臭剂


参考例句：





She applies deodorant to her armpits after she showers.沐浴后，她在腋下涂上除臭剂。
Spray deodorant and keep the silk garments dry before dressing.在穿衣之前，洒涂防臭剂并保持干燥。












4
awesome

  
 


adj.令人惊叹的，难得吓人的，很好的


参考例句：





The church in Ireland has always exercised an awesome power.爱尔兰的教堂一直掌握着令人敬畏的权力。
That new white convertible is totally awesome.那辆新的白色折篷汽车简直棒极了.












5
dwelling

  
 


n.住宅，住所，寓所


参考例句：





Those two men are dwelling with us.那两个人跟我们住在一起。
He occupies a three-story dwelling place on the Park Street.他在派克街上有一幢3层楼的寓所。