访谈录 Interview 2007-07-14&07-16, 做妈妈并不开心
英语课
This morning, on Today's Woman, the stress of motherhood. If you are a mother, feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibilities on your play, well, you are not alone. A new study finds that for many women the joys of motherhood are being challenged by the hard work of raising a family. Here is NBC's Lisa Daniels.
Leave it to Beaver 1.
For years, Hollywood had only one way of portraying 2 a mother---show her smiling. Smiling when cleaning the house, smiling when serving breakfast, smiling after resolving family conflicts. (Well, don't worry about it, dinner will be ready in a minute, maybe my lamb jobs will help.)
(It's all different today.)
But sadly, these days the smile of real life mom seems to be vanishing. In a recent survey of more than a thousand moms, a stunning 3 47% admitted they are the least happy person in the household, unhappier than dads, sons and daughters. I think the study is significant. This is a reminder 4 of how much stress mothers are under.
How much stress? Thirty three percent of the moms surveyed said they are overwhelmed, having too many jobs to do at home. Chores like cooking and washing the dishes, and making the beds, and not just theirs but their kids' and doing the laundry for everyone in the family. All of them are trying to maintain their sanity 5. So can happy moms relate to these unhappy numbers? You bet. Over coffee, these real life moms explained why.
Coz you just don't come first anymore. You really don't. My son comes first, my husband comes first, work comes first, everyone comes first and I come last.
If you get me on a day where we have a rough night, because she is teasing and she is crying and she is up and we are both up. Then I'm exhausted 6 and tired and cranky.
It's 24/7. Even when you put your baby to bed, you are thinking about your baby and wondering about your baby, how your baby is doing?
If you, as the woman, don't say what your needs are, and when you need it, then sure she is gonna feel less happy.
But it isn't all bad news for moms; some experts believe moms do get some satisfaction from their complex roles.
This is a double-edged sword. Really, we take on the responsibility, but if, if we were able to give it up to somebody, we wouldn't wanna do it.
Still experts point out even moms need a break. And if family members helped her out more at home, well, that will certainly bring a smile to mom's face. For Today, Lisa Daniels NBC News, New York.
Judiff Sales is a clinical psychologist. Juce, good morning. (Good morning.)
Look at the graphic 7, I think, that show(s) us why women are really upset there. Not enough time, worry over money, feeling overworked, feeling taken for granted, and (we), I think women understand why we are upset. The question is what we are gonna do about it? (Right.) And you've got some very strong suggestions.
Well, so first, 64% of women feel overworked, the to-do list is endless and you need to accept. It will never end, you will never get to the bottom of that list. But if you do two things, add yourself to the list and share the load. Add yourself to the list, put something for yourself in that top priority, so that it’s not all giving, giving, giving. Give your family a chance, to be received, and give to you. That's what share the load means. And it might be everybody over ten does his or her own laundry.
I know what people who are listening right now who are mothers with ho(me), with kids at home, they think I don't have time, I don't have time to go and take the photography class; I don't have time, you know, to go (to)have lunch with my girlfriends; I don't have time to walk out for an hour a week.
Because I feel like, and in fact, I am in the business of making my family happy. That is moms' job description. So if mom remembers that a happy family starts with a less stressed, happier mom (you know what, that is the point), that's the gift for your kids. When you take care of yourself, even one evening a week, you are giving the gift especially to your daughters of seeing that moms are valued and people, too. Keep some balance, we're all about balance.
That's probably the message, we are probably seeing deeper from most women is to, you say, to you, look, I want you, my son, I want you, my daughter, to see how a mom should be and she shouldn't be harried 8 over work, stressed out, unhappy. I mean, really, that would be, that's probably a great roadmap for, for, for women to understand that there is, they need to make a change.
I think it's, needs the second point to, 30% of the women in the study talked about feeling taken for granted. And that does not just come with the territory. We have to teach appreciation 9, we teach the family, this is how you notice each other. Maybe go around every Sunday evening, you'd say, I wanna thank you for what you did for me this week and you teach your kids to thank you to (to) notice. Like look at a fine art, you are looking at a fine mother; you have to be taught to see.
So not nag 10 appreciation, teach appreciation. And you know, by the time, they are, my son is now 12 and my daughter is 14, and they are appreciative 11 now. It sort of in those early years, (Oh~There is tough..) itbecomes really tough, right?
Well, you begin to see the fruits of your labor 12, it is labor early. So it is more stressful for moms with the younger kids gets better. (So the bottom line, it gets better, gets better.) right.
But you know, the big question is sharing the responsibilities. That's the big question. We have to say to our guys, our husbands, right? Anybody else we have a family, whoever else, house, we have in our house. But to say in a way, that make them feel positive. We think they can read our minds, and they can't. (They can't.)So what's the message, how do we say it to?
OK, so if you have a husband, in particular, and he thinks, he wants to say he values you so he comes into the kitchen maybe squeeze your body. And he is thinking yeah, I just told her I love her. No, you wanna explain to him, here is how you could show me that you wanna reduce my stress. You see the laundry basket, it would help me if you picked it up; Notice how I have been working with the kids on the violin. If you said to me: Hey! The kids are getting better. That's a part of my backing, kinda makes me interested.
And when he dose that, appreciate him to give him a big kiss.
Exactly. It's happened.
Juce Sales, thank you so much this morning. Some good advice, hopefully we have some people this morning...
Thank you!
Leave it to Beaver 1.
For years, Hollywood had only one way of portraying 2 a mother---show her smiling. Smiling when cleaning the house, smiling when serving breakfast, smiling after resolving family conflicts. (Well, don't worry about it, dinner will be ready in a minute, maybe my lamb jobs will help.)
(It's all different today.)
But sadly, these days the smile of real life mom seems to be vanishing. In a recent survey of more than a thousand moms, a stunning 3 47% admitted they are the least happy person in the household, unhappier than dads, sons and daughters. I think the study is significant. This is a reminder 4 of how much stress mothers are under.
How much stress? Thirty three percent of the moms surveyed said they are overwhelmed, having too many jobs to do at home. Chores like cooking and washing the dishes, and making the beds, and not just theirs but their kids' and doing the laundry for everyone in the family. All of them are trying to maintain their sanity 5. So can happy moms relate to these unhappy numbers? You bet. Over coffee, these real life moms explained why.
Coz you just don't come first anymore. You really don't. My son comes first, my husband comes first, work comes first, everyone comes first and I come last.
If you get me on a day where we have a rough night, because she is teasing and she is crying and she is up and we are both up. Then I'm exhausted 6 and tired and cranky.
It's 24/7. Even when you put your baby to bed, you are thinking about your baby and wondering about your baby, how your baby is doing?
If you, as the woman, don't say what your needs are, and when you need it, then sure she is gonna feel less happy.
But it isn't all bad news for moms; some experts believe moms do get some satisfaction from their complex roles.
This is a double-edged sword. Really, we take on the responsibility, but if, if we were able to give it up to somebody, we wouldn't wanna do it.
Still experts point out even moms need a break. And if family members helped her out more at home, well, that will certainly bring a smile to mom's face. For Today, Lisa Daniels NBC News, New York.
Judiff Sales is a clinical psychologist. Juce, good morning. (Good morning.)
Look at the graphic 7, I think, that show(s) us why women are really upset there. Not enough time, worry over money, feeling overworked, feeling taken for granted, and (we), I think women understand why we are upset. The question is what we are gonna do about it? (Right.) And you've got some very strong suggestions.
Well, so first, 64% of women feel overworked, the to-do list is endless and you need to accept. It will never end, you will never get to the bottom of that list. But if you do two things, add yourself to the list and share the load. Add yourself to the list, put something for yourself in that top priority, so that it’s not all giving, giving, giving. Give your family a chance, to be received, and give to you. That's what share the load means. And it might be everybody over ten does his or her own laundry.
I know what people who are listening right now who are mothers with ho(me), with kids at home, they think I don't have time, I don't have time to go and take the photography class; I don't have time, you know, to go (to)have lunch with my girlfriends; I don't have time to walk out for an hour a week.
Because I feel like, and in fact, I am in the business of making my family happy. That is moms' job description. So if mom remembers that a happy family starts with a less stressed, happier mom (you know what, that is the point), that's the gift for your kids. When you take care of yourself, even one evening a week, you are giving the gift especially to your daughters of seeing that moms are valued and people, too. Keep some balance, we're all about balance.
That's probably the message, we are probably seeing deeper from most women is to, you say, to you, look, I want you, my son, I want you, my daughter, to see how a mom should be and she shouldn't be harried 8 over work, stressed out, unhappy. I mean, really, that would be, that's probably a great roadmap for, for, for women to understand that there is, they need to make a change.
I think it's, needs the second point to, 30% of the women in the study talked about feeling taken for granted. And that does not just come with the territory. We have to teach appreciation 9, we teach the family, this is how you notice each other. Maybe go around every Sunday evening, you'd say, I wanna thank you for what you did for me this week and you teach your kids to thank you to (to) notice. Like look at a fine art, you are looking at a fine mother; you have to be taught to see.
So not nag 10 appreciation, teach appreciation. And you know, by the time, they are, my son is now 12 and my daughter is 14, and they are appreciative 11 now. It sort of in those early years, (Oh~There is tough..) itbecomes really tough, right?
Well, you begin to see the fruits of your labor 12, it is labor early. So it is more stressful for moms with the younger kids gets better. (So the bottom line, it gets better, gets better.) right.
But you know, the big question is sharing the responsibilities. That's the big question. We have to say to our guys, our husbands, right? Anybody else we have a family, whoever else, house, we have in our house. But to say in a way, that make them feel positive. We think they can read our minds, and they can't. (They can't.)So what's the message, how do we say it to?
OK, so if you have a husband, in particular, and he thinks, he wants to say he values you so he comes into the kitchen maybe squeeze your body. And he is thinking yeah, I just told her I love her. No, you wanna explain to him, here is how you could show me that you wanna reduce my stress. You see the laundry basket, it would help me if you picked it up; Notice how I have been working with the kids on the violin. If you said to me: Hey! The kids are getting better. That's a part of my backing, kinda makes me interested.
And when he dose that, appreciate him to give him a big kiss.
Exactly. It's happened.
Juce Sales, thank you so much this morning. Some good advice, hopefully we have some people this morning...
Thank you!
n.海狸，河狸
- The hat is made of beaver.这顶帽子是海狸毛皮制的。
- A beaver is an animals with big front teeth.海狸是一种长着大门牙的动物。
v.画像( portray的现在分词 )；描述；描绘；描画
- The artist has succeeded in portraying my father to the life. 那位画家把我的父亲画得惟妙惟肖。 来自《简明英汉词典》
- Ding Ling was good at portraying figures through careful and refined description of human psychology. 《莎菲女士的日记》是丁玲的成名作，曾引起强烈的社会反响。 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说
adj.极好的；使人晕倒的
- His plays are distinguished only by their stunning mediocrity.他的戏剧与众不同之处就是平凡得出奇。
- The finished effect was absolutely stunning.完工后的效果非常美。
n.提醒物，纪念品；暗示，提示
- I have had another reminder from the library.我又收到图书馆的催还单。
- It always took a final reminder to get her to pay her share of the rent.总是得发给她一份最后催缴通知，她才付应该交的房租。
n.心智健全，神智正常，判断正确
- I doubt the sanity of such a plan.我怀疑这个计划是否明智。
- She managed to keep her sanity throughout the ordeal.在那场磨难中她始终保持神志正常。
adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的
- It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
- Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。
adj.生动的，形象的，绘画的，文字的，图表的
- The book gave a graphic description of the war.这本书生动地描述了战争的情况。
- Distinguish important text items in lists with graphic icons.用图标来区分重要的文本项。
v.使苦恼( harry的过去式和过去分词 )；不断烦扰；一再袭击；侵扰
- She has been harried by the press all week. 整个星期她都受到新闻界的不断烦扰。
- The soldiers harried the enemy out of the country. 士兵们不断作骚扰性的攻击直至把敌人赶出国境为止。 来自《简明英汉词典》
n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨
- I would like to express my appreciation and thanks to you all.我想对你们所有人表达我的感激和谢意。
- I'll be sending them a donation in appreciation of their help.我将送给他们一笔捐款以感谢他们的帮助。
v.(对…)不停地唠叨；n.爱唠叨的人
- Nobody likes to work with a nag.谁也不愿与好唠叨的人一起共事。
- Don't nag me like an old woman.别像个老太婆似的唠唠叨叨烦我。
adj.有鉴赏力的，有眼力的；感激的
- She was deeply appreciative of your help.她对你的帮助深表感激。
- We are very appreciative of their support in this respect.我们十分感谢他们在这方面的支持。