TED演讲 :生命中最惨痛的时刻如何造就我们(8)

 And I sometimes wonder  有时候我在想

whether I could have found such fulfillment  如果婚姻和孩子
in marriage and children  来得更容易些，
if they'd come more readily,  我是否会找到这样的满足，
if I'd been straight in my youth or were young now,  而如果我年轻时是异性恋，或我还年轻，
in either of which cases this might be easier.  它们会让事情变得简单。
Perhaps I could.  也许我会的。
Perhaps all the complex imagining I've done  也许我做过的所有的复杂事情
could have been applied 1 to other topics.  都可以应用在其他的议题上。
But if seeking meaning  但如果寻求意义
matters more than finding meaning,  比找到意义更重要，
the question is not whether I'd be happier  那问题不是我是不是因为被欺负
for having been bullied,  而更加快乐，
but whether assigning meaning  而是这些被赋予意义
to those experiences  的经历
has made me a better father.  是否让我成为更好的父亲。
I tend to find the ecstasy 2 hidden in ordinary joys,  我常常发现在普通的快乐中躲藏的狂喜，
because I did not expect those joys  因为我不认定这些快乐
to be ordinary to me.  对我来说是普通的。
I know many heterosexuals who have  我认识许多异性恋者他们
equally happy marriages and families,  有着同样快乐的婚姻和家庭，
but gay marriage is so breathtakingly fresh,  但同性婚姻是那么的让人赞叹的新鲜，
and gay families so exhilaratingly new,  同性家庭是那么的令人振奋的新奇，
and I found meaning in that surprise.  而我在这惊喜中找到了意义。
In October, it was my 50th birthday,  10月是我的50岁生日，
and my family organized a party for me,  我的家人为我举办了派对，
and in the middle of it,  在进行到一半时，
my son said to my husband  我的儿子对我的先生说
that he wanted to make a speech,  他想要演讲，
and John said,  约翰说，
"George, you can't make a speech. You're four."  “乔治，你不能演讲，你才四岁。”
"Only Grandpa and Uncle David and I  “今晚只有爷爷和大卫叔叔
are going to make speeches tonight."  和我要演讲。”
But George insisted and insisted,  但是乔治一再的坚持，
and finally, John took him up to the microphone,  终于，约翰把他带到了麦克风前，
and George said very loudly,  然后乔治很大声的说，
"Ladies and gentlemen,  “女士们先生们，
may I have your attention please."  请大家注意一下。”
And everyone turned around, startled.  大家都转过身来，惊呆了，
And George said,  乔治说道，
"I'm glad it's Daddy's birthday.  “我很高兴今天是爹爹的生日。
I'm glad we all get cake.  我很高兴有蛋糕吃。
And daddy, if you were little,  还有，爹爹，如果你还是小孩，
I'd be your friend."  我会做你的朋友。”
And I thought ?Thank you.  而我想 （ 谢谢）
I thought that I was indebted  我想我甚至对鲍比
even to Bobby Finkel,  都有亏欠，
because all those earlier experiences  应为所有这些先前的经历
were what had propelled me to this moment,  把我带到了现在这一刻，
and I was finally unconditionally 3 grateful  而我终于无条件地感激
for a life I'd once have done anything to change.  这个我一度千方百计想要改变的人生
The gay activist 4 Harvey Milk  一个年轻的同性恋男人
was once asked by a younger gay man  曾问过同性恋运动人士哈维·米尔克
what he could do to help the movement,  他能为这个运动做点什么,
and Harvey Milk said,  哈维·米尔克说，
"Go out and tell someone."  “出去告诉一个人。”
There's always somebody who wants to confiscate  世上总是有人
our humanity,  想要没收我们的人性
and there are always stories that restore it.  但也总是有恢复人性的故事。
If we live out loud,  如果我们活出精彩，
we can trounce the hatred  我们就能战胜憎恨
and expand everyone's lives.  拓宽众人的生命。
Forge meaning. Build identity.  铸造意义，建立身份
Forge meaning.  铸造意义,
Build identity.  建立身份。
And then invite the world  然后邀请世界
to share your joy.  共享你的喜悦。
Thank you.  谢谢。
Thank you. (Applause)  谢谢。（掌声）
Thank you. (Applause)  谢谢。（掌声）
Thank you. (Applause)  谢谢。（掌声）