新思路单项技能教材 口语（PETS）三级 29-34_new

Twenty-nine A Priest and a Bus Driver

[00:05.30]A priest and a bus driver both died and went to heaven at the same time.

[00:12.28]They get to the pearly gates where an angel greets them.

[00:17.53]The angel motions to the priest,

[00:21.39]and they both hop 1 in a jeep and go out of the back door.

[00:27.25]There are about 50 acres of rolling hills,with a little cottage on a small hill.

[00:35.79]The angel turns to the priest and says,"This will be yours for eternity 2.

[00:42.84]A perfect little cottage,right next to a wishing well.

[00:49.32]Anything you wish on that wishing well will come true guaranteed."

[00:56.16]The priest says,"Oh,thank you so much.This I shall enjoy!"

[01:03.32]The angel drops off the priest and goes back to the pearly gates

[01:09.07]and motions to the bus driver.

[01:12.83]They hop in a limo and go out of the front door.

[01:18.29]There are about 500 acres of land,with mountains and lakes and rivers.

[01:26.54]There is a huge castle on one of the mountains with about 200 rooms.

[01:35.09]The angel says"This will be yours for eternity.

[01:40.13]You can live in that castle with servants to wait on your hand and foot,

[01:46.89]and you can have everything you want."

[01:51.26]The bus driver looks at the angel and says,"Well,now,don't think I'm not grateful,

[01:59.90]but shouldn't the priest get all this,not me?

[02:05.47]Shouldn't I get the cottage and 50 acres instead?"

[02:11.81]The angel just laughs and says,

[02:16.67]"The reason you get all this is because when the priest preached,

[02:22.84]everyone fell asleep.Now,when you drove your bus,people prayed!"

[02:30.78]Thirty   Sabbath Violator

[02:34.54]John and Woody were strolling home from shul on Saturday morning.

[02:40.39]Suddenly a cab sped past,and their friend,Irving,

[02:46.87]was running frantically 3 behind it,waving his arms wildly.

[02:51.13]"Well,"said Woody,"I never imagined our good friend Irving was a Sabbath violator!

[03:00.87]Look at him running for that taxi."

[03:04.71]"Wait a minute."John replied."Didn't you read that book I lent you.

[03:11.35]The other Side of the Story,about the idea judge other oeople favorably?

[03:18.40]I'll bet we can think of hundreds of excuses for Irving's behavior."

[03:24.36]"Yeah,like what?" "Maybe he's sick and needs to go to the hospital."

[03:31.20]"Come on!He was running 60 miles an hour after that cab-besides,

[03:38.17]he's healthier than Arnold Schwartzenegger."

[03:42.25]"Well,maybe his wife's having a baby."

[03:46.56]"She had one last week." "Well,maybe he necks to visit her in the hospital."

[03:55.02]"She's home." "Well,maybe he running to the hospital to get a doctor."

[04:03.98]"He is a doctor." "Well,maybe he needs supplies from the hosptial."

[04:11.35]"The hospital is a three-minute walk in the opposite direction."

[04:16.71]"Well,maybe he forgot it's Sobbath!"

[04:22.45]"Of course he know it's Sabbath.Didn't you see his tie?

[04:29.30]It was his 100! silk tie from italy.He never wears it during the week."

[04:36.66]"Wow,you're a really observant!I didn't even notice he was wearing a tie."

[04:44.11]"How could you not notice?

[04:47.35]Didn't you see how it was caught on the back fender of the taxi?"

[04:52.31]Thirty -one  Canada

[04:56.07]On the sixth day God turned to the angel Gabriel and said,

[05:01.82]"Today I am going to create a land called Canada.

[05:07.77]It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty

[05:13.94]-It shall have tall majestic 4 mountains full of mountain goats and eagles,

[05:21.70]and beautiful sparking lakes bountiful with carp and trout 5.

[05:28.86]There shall be forests full of elk 6 and moose,

[05:33.82]high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life,

[05:41.37]and rivers stocked with slamon."

[05:45.42]God continued,'I shall make the land rich in oil so to make the inhabitants prosper 7;

[05:55.40]I shall call these inhabitants Ganadians;

[06:01.14]they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

[06:06.92]"But Lord."asked Gabriel,

[06:11.57]"don't you think you are being too generous to these Ganadians?"

[06:18.64]"Not really."God replied."Just wait and see the neighbors I am going to give them."

[06:26.51]Thirty -two   The Art of Papermaking

[06:30.95]Paper was invented in China about the year 105,by a man called Cai Lun.

[06:40.82]He found a way to make paper from the stringy inner bark of the mulberry tree.

[06:47.95]He pounded the bark in water to separate the fibers 8,

[06:53.60]then poured the soup mixture onto a sieve 9.

[06:58.74]The water drained away and the soft mat was laid on a smooth surface to dry.

[07:06.40]Bamboo and old rags were also used.

[07:11.75]Later on,somebody thought how to improve the paper by brushing starch 10 on it.

[07:19.20]Chinese traders traveled fat to the west

[07:24.76]where they met Arabs who learned their secret and took it ot Spain.

[07:30.72]From there the aret of papermaking spread over Europe.

[07:36.28]In time,all kinds of improved methods and machines for making paper were discovered.

[07:44.72]One of the most important,for example,

[07:49.86]was a machine developed in France in 1798 that could make a continuous sheet of paper.

[07:58.41]Thirty-three  Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

[08:03.58]A salesman selling vacuum cleaners

[08:08.02]is going from door to door trying to flog them to unsuspecting housewives.

[08:15.28]He goes to this new house hoping to have some luck there.

[08:21.63]Carrying his cleaner up to the door

[08:26.28]and holding some goodies in his other hand,he knocks on the door.

[08:32.84]A lady opens the door.

[08:36.78]"Excuse me,madam."says the salesman,while pushing his way into the house.

[08:43.83]He quickly empties the goodies he has all over the lady's new wool carpet,

[08:52.19]including gravel,dirt,and some other crap.

[08:58.36]Then he says."The cleaner that I am about to sell you here

[09:05.52]is so good that if it doesn't clean that crap off your carpet

[09:12.07]I swear that I will eat it!"

[09:16.33]The lady,furious with the mess,replies:"Well,you stupied salesman,

[09:24.19]would you like sauce with that,because we haven't got the power on yet!"

[09:31.25]Thirty-four  King of the Jungle

[09:35.48]A lion woke up one morning feeling really angry and mean.

[09:42.53]He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,

[09:47.57]"Who is the mightiest 11 of all jungle animals?"

[09:52.22]The trembling monkey says,"You are,mighty lion!"

[09:57.58]The lion walked up to an elephant an roared,

[10:03.04]"Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"

[10:07.79]Fast as lightning,the elephant snatched up the lion with his trunk,

[10:13.96]slammed him against a tree half a dozen times,

[10:18.71]making the lion feel like it'd been run over by a wagon 12.

[10:25.27]The elephant then stomped 13 on the lion

[10:29.39]until it looked like a pancake and then walked away.

[10:34.72]The lion let out a moan of pain,

[10:38.59]lifted his head weakly and shouted after the elephant,

[10:43.34]"Geez,just because you don't know the answer,you don't have to get so pissed off!"