为什么一些单身女士喜欢与已婚男士约会？

... why are single women attracted to married men?

There,there are so many reasons. And in, in my practice I look at it kind of the behind-the-scenes guy. Cause a lot of times we just do stuff we don't know why we're doing it, right?In this case for single women, there,there is this, this concept of what a married man is. It's like a fantasy but it's, it's also reality. It's, it's like a married man has that stamp of approval by a woman,right? And,and, and so there's, there's something about this guy, it's er, it's intrigue 1. It's competition. It's, it's dramatic. It's...

It's the thrill of the challenge?

It's the thrill of the chance, you know, think about this too, er, guys in, in certain situations,dating situations are considered players sometimes,right? A married man does not carry the stigma 2 of being a player because he's married.(right.)You know ,(And part of appeal) it's, it's a completely different look at, at him than you are if you have a single guy.

Harry 3, let's talk, you have a couple of really interesting points about why women choose to go this way. And one of the things you say is loneliness turns a blind eye. what do you mean by that?

I think so. Well, I think there're, there arefar more single women than there are single men with so this statistics say.So if you want to be with somebody,sometimes you wanna be with somebody so badly.That you said, um, well at least get him part-time. And of course,that leads to a lot of other problems because you never can completely feel that loneliness because he's not fully 4 available to you. But I do think that a lot of women are, are choosing to be with married men because there is no other choice they think.

And one of the other things too is the fear of commitment because you get to have him but you don't actually have to be with him all the time.

Well, I, I think that's a huge part because very often people want to be in a relationship but they are afraid that if I show my whole-self,I'll get rejected. In a relationship with somebody married you know deep down inside that the rejection 5 could happen you can give your,you could give your whole-self but he's not gonna take your whole-self. So,you, it, it's a weird 6 kind of a twist, but the fear of commitment I believe pushes them to choose someone who can't fully come to them and say let's walk down that aisle 7 together and have our committed relationship together.Share our whole-selves.

Is that part of it?Is it the lack of the strings 8 being attached that's part of the appeal but who in this party is thinking I'm doing something really wrong here.

Yeah,the slogan is "no rings, no strings,"right? That's, that's the slogan.(Wow.... yes.) , right? there it is. It's, okay. If you are, if you are a single woman,and there is a married man out there, and you engage in some kind of, you know, physical activity relationship with him. It's like,hey,I didn't do anything wrong,I'm single,he is the married one.The accountability is on him, it's not on me. You know,when you look at,when you look at fear of commitment, you know everybody talks about that. What, would it is that exactly? Would it means is that I can engage in a relationship with somebody as long as he doesn't get emotionally intimate where as Harry has said(inaudible) I know,hold on,hold on.Yeah,the concept here is if it's a lustful 9 relationship that everybody seems happy.(You are right)Although it's based on distrust,absolutely it's okay.The minute that this kinda of relationship the single woman and a married guy turns emotional.Totally different story.Totally different about it.

Right, which brings up, which brings up my other point that a lot of times I think people get involved in these relationships for fun,for the lustful relationship. And when it changes,because,you know,we have hearts,we have feelings. When the changes have been lasted long enough, then trouble is there. And then,and then we see the stalkers and then we see the one,'are you going to leave her for me?'(True) And , and the letters, the common mail all that craziness that happens when love comes into the picture and I think that people are wrong to believe that love won't come into the picture if they grow to be close to each other.

You guys are great. I'd love to continue going. Unfortunately we are running out of time. Part two is, is do, do they actually leave? You know, do they leave the, the spouse 10 is mean(really) is there you know, is there really love after? But listen, we gotta go.

Ok, see you next time. There is so much to say.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

I know,all right. We will back with more of today right after this.