访谈录 Interview 2007-09-16&09-18, 如何成为约会女王
英语课
We've all heard that a good man is hard to find, but that certainly dosen't stop a lot of women from trying.
I've been dating since I was 15, I'm exhausted 1, where is he?
Who? The white knight 2?
That only happens in fairy tales.
I here hurts.
Well, this morning we have some dating advice from an expert. Janis Spindel is a professional matchmaker who just wrote a new book ''How to Date Men? -- Dating secrets from American's top matchmaker", and Rubi Ludwig is a psychotherapist and host of GSN's Without Prejudice. Good morning, ladies. (Good morning. Good to see you!)Janis, before we get into our discussion 3 this morning, you've successfully matchmade, made more than 760 marriages.
That's correct. In 15 years, 760 couples married, 45 are underway this year and I hope to get to 50.
Yeah, and, and they've stayed together?
To my knowledge, I have, I would think that I'd be the first one they called if they got divorced 4. I think everybody is still married.
So you know what you are talking about. Alright. So let's get to, uh, I wanna show a graphic 5 because you say something at the very beginning of your book. Ladies, I've got news for you because you say if you are still single and frustrated 6 about it, it means one of two things: One, you are super picky. Or two, you are doing something wrong. Explain what you mean by this, Janis. I mean that's tough. You , you put the blame on the ladies.
Well, I really believe that men are pickier than women. Women are not that picky. They just want a guy who is intelligent, funny with a great personality which basically 7 means they are doing something wrong.
And, uh, women, is it just that we, we are looking for that white knight? You know, that Mr. Mr. Prince who is gonna come on his white horse(white horse) and save us and take us away.
It doesn't happen that way unfortunately.
And, and Rubi, in your experience, working with couples as well (Um, um), do you find that women are basically making the same mistakes over and over again, going for the wrong type guy?
You know, in some cases, in some cases, it's self-esteem. They don't think enough of themselves, so they can't appreciate somebody who likes them. And they think there is this fantasy that it will happen automatically(Um, um) and they don't need to do anything in order to work towards having a relationship and really that's the most important choice that women can make. And you do need to put yourself out there and be thoughtful 8 about it in order to make it happen for yourself.
Date different types of guys. And Janis, you also remind women that not every man is gonna be interested in you, no matter how beautiful, smart or successful you are. Rejection 9 is a hard thing for women to take. A lot of women are heart-broken when they see that you know, Mr. Handsome is not gonna be that into them. So how do you get past that?
As Rubi said you have self-esteem and confidence and you don't take it personally. You move on to the next one. You have to be proactive.(Um)
Proactive in a lot like where you find the right guys to date?
You can find a guy anywhere, at a newspaper stand, at a coffee bar, at a library, at a Barnes & Noble Cafe, walking down the street, in an elevator.
And you could just tell yourself that some guys have bad taste and are wrong, you just move on.
(Exactly, I agree with you. One hundred percent. That's right. OK....)
Sometimes, the guys just don't realize, too. I mean, maybe you have to just get in their face and say hey, you wanna date me.
I think you need to have faith too that if somebody just doesn't work out for you, then they are not a right match and somebody better out there, is there for you.
To your point, Janis, about being on the lookout 10 always. (always.) When you say there are places, I mean, we know weddings are good places to meet women or to meet men. Dinner, cocktail 11 parties, college alumni events, homes of mutual 12 friends, standing 13 a line at the DMV , that, that's seems sort of out of the ordinary.
I have met some of the greatest lawyers in the world. It's the world that's small claims at the DMV.
Take a look at this list that we have, running in museums, sporting events. Obviously 14 you are gonna find a lot of guys there, airplanes, all those...(train stations), train stations exactly. So how do you approach them though?
You smile and say hello. You do what I call the hello challenge. All you have to do is have self-esteem and confidence. You smile (yeah).
And there is something to be said about flirting 15 as well and making yourself, you know, just giving that impression that you are available and you like being around men.
And, and interesting, Janis, you also point out to women that on the first date, you say you should wear a skirt. Why? (Femininity) That seems kind of, I know, but it seems sort of old school, a little passé .
Well, men are used to working all day long with women in business suits and business suits are usually pantsuits. You wanna be feminine 16, you wanna wear heels, you wanna dress like a woman.
And you also say let them pay?
Absolutely.
All the time? Let them pay and I'm not gonna...
I say let them pay too ,OK? I say....
I am not gonna argue with you on that one.
But you know what? Men really do expect to pay (yeah). And if they are not paying, I think it means something suspicious 17, like they are not taking you seriously (or they don't like you) or they are not treating you or they don't like you.
Janis, really quickly, as a matchmaker, I mean, what exactly when, when you meet people, do you have sort of an idea of what they are looking for? I mean how do you make these couples?
I have a sixth sense. I get clear volume premonitions, when I have lunch with men every day, who they are going to marry.
Very Interesting.
And she is gonna to heaven.
I know, she (right? yes).
Absolutely. Alright, the book is "How to Date Men". Janis Spindel, thank you, Rubi Ludwig, it's always for great advice this morning.
Thank you! Thank you!
-------------------------------------------------
DMV: (the Department of Motor Vehicles) a government department in each of the US states, which is responsible for giving driving tests and drivers' licenses 18. In some states the DMV has the power to collect road taxes.
passé: If someone describes something as passé, they think that it is no longer fashionable or that it is no longer effective.
eg: Punk is passé
I've been dating since I was 15, I'm exhausted 1, where is he?
Who? The white knight 2?
That only happens in fairy tales.
I here hurts.
Well, this morning we have some dating advice from an expert. Janis Spindel is a professional matchmaker who just wrote a new book ''How to Date Men? -- Dating secrets from American's top matchmaker", and Rubi Ludwig is a psychotherapist and host of GSN's Without Prejudice. Good morning, ladies. (Good morning. Good to see you!)Janis, before we get into our discussion 3 this morning, you've successfully matchmade, made more than 760 marriages.
That's correct. In 15 years, 760 couples married, 45 are underway this year and I hope to get to 50.
Yeah, and, and they've stayed together?
To my knowledge, I have, I would think that I'd be the first one they called if they got divorced 4. I think everybody is still married.
So you know what you are talking about. Alright. So let's get to, uh, I wanna show a graphic 5 because you say something at the very beginning of your book. Ladies, I've got news for you because you say if you are still single and frustrated 6 about it, it means one of two things: One, you are super picky. Or two, you are doing something wrong. Explain what you mean by this, Janis. I mean that's tough. You , you put the blame on the ladies.
Well, I really believe that men are pickier than women. Women are not that picky. They just want a guy who is intelligent, funny with a great personality which basically 7 means they are doing something wrong.
And, uh, women, is it just that we, we are looking for that white knight? You know, that Mr. Mr. Prince who is gonna come on his white horse(white horse) and save us and take us away.
It doesn't happen that way unfortunately.
And, and Rubi, in your experience, working with couples as well (Um, um), do you find that women are basically making the same mistakes over and over again, going for the wrong type guy?
You know, in some cases, in some cases, it's self-esteem. They don't think enough of themselves, so they can't appreciate somebody who likes them. And they think there is this fantasy that it will happen automatically(Um, um) and they don't need to do anything in order to work towards having a relationship and really that's the most important choice that women can make. And you do need to put yourself out there and be thoughtful 8 about it in order to make it happen for yourself.
Date different types of guys. And Janis, you also remind women that not every man is gonna be interested in you, no matter how beautiful, smart or successful you are. Rejection 9 is a hard thing for women to take. A lot of women are heart-broken when they see that you know, Mr. Handsome is not gonna be that into them. So how do you get past that?
As Rubi said you have self-esteem and confidence and you don't take it personally. You move on to the next one. You have to be proactive.(Um)
Proactive in a lot like where you find the right guys to date?
You can find a guy anywhere, at a newspaper stand, at a coffee bar, at a library, at a Barnes & Noble Cafe, walking down the street, in an elevator.
And you could just tell yourself that some guys have bad taste and are wrong, you just move on.
(Exactly, I agree with you. One hundred percent. That's right. OK....)
Sometimes, the guys just don't realize, too. I mean, maybe you have to just get in their face and say hey, you wanna date me.
I think you need to have faith too that if somebody just doesn't work out for you, then they are not a right match and somebody better out there, is there for you.
To your point, Janis, about being on the lookout 10 always. (always.) When you say there are places, I mean, we know weddings are good places to meet women or to meet men. Dinner, cocktail 11 parties, college alumni events, homes of mutual 12 friends, standing 13 a line at the DMV , that, that's seems sort of out of the ordinary.
I have met some of the greatest lawyers in the world. It's the world that's small claims at the DMV.
Take a look at this list that we have, running in museums, sporting events. Obviously 14 you are gonna find a lot of guys there, airplanes, all those...(train stations), train stations exactly. So how do you approach them though?
You smile and say hello. You do what I call the hello challenge. All you have to do is have self-esteem and confidence. You smile (yeah).
And there is something to be said about flirting 15 as well and making yourself, you know, just giving that impression that you are available and you like being around men.
And, and interesting, Janis, you also point out to women that on the first date, you say you should wear a skirt. Why? (Femininity) That seems kind of, I know, but it seems sort of old school, a little passé .
Well, men are used to working all day long with women in business suits and business suits are usually pantsuits. You wanna be feminine 16, you wanna wear heels, you wanna dress like a woman.
And you also say let them pay?
Absolutely.
All the time? Let them pay and I'm not gonna...
I say let them pay too ,OK? I say....
I am not gonna argue with you on that one.
But you know what? Men really do expect to pay (yeah). And if they are not paying, I think it means something suspicious 17, like they are not taking you seriously (or they don't like you) or they are not treating you or they don't like you.
Janis, really quickly, as a matchmaker, I mean, what exactly when, when you meet people, do you have sort of an idea of what they are looking for? I mean how do you make these couples?
I have a sixth sense. I get clear volume premonitions, when I have lunch with men every day, who they are going to marry.
Very Interesting.
And she is gonna to heaven.
I know, she (right? yes).
Absolutely. Alright, the book is "How to Date Men". Janis Spindel, thank you, Rubi Ludwig, it's always for great advice this morning.
Thank you! Thank you!
-------------------------------------------------
DMV: (the Department of Motor Vehicles) a government department in each of the US states, which is responsible for giving driving tests and drivers' licenses 18. In some states the DMV has the power to collect road taxes.
passé: If someone describes something as passé, they think that it is no longer fashionable or that it is no longer effective.
eg: Punk is passé
adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的
- It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
- Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。
n.骑士，武士；爵士
- He was made an honourary knight.他被授予荣誉爵士称号。
- A knight rode on his richly caparisoned steed.一个骑士骑在装饰华丽的马上。
n.讨论，谈论；论述
- It is certain he will come to the discussion.他肯定会来参加讨论。
- After months of discussion,a peace agreement is gradually taking shape.经过几个月的商讨，和平协议渐渐有了眉目。
adj.离婚的；分开的；不相干的；脱离的v.与…离婚(divorce的过去式和过去分词)；分离；与某人离婚，判某人离婚
- Apparently they are getting divorced soon. 看样子，他们很快就要离婚。
- Many divorced men remarry and have second families. 许多离婚的男子再婚组成了新的家庭。
adj.生动的，形象的，绘画的，文字的，图表的
- The book gave a graphic description of the war.这本书生动地描述了战争的情况。
- Distinguish important text items in lists with graphic icons.用图标来区分重要的文本项。
adj.挫败的，失意的，泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的过去式和过去分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧
- It's very easy to get frustrated in this job. 这个工作很容易令人懊恼。
- The bad weather frustrated all our hopes of going out. 恶劣的天气破坏了我们出行的愿望。 来自《简明英汉词典》
adv.基本上，从根本上说
- His heart is basically sound.他的心脏基本上健康。
- Basically I agree with your plan.我基本上同意你的计划。
adj.思考的，沉思的，体贴的，关心的
- She is thoughtful for her friends.她很体贴她的朋友们。
- This is a thoughtful essay.这是一篇具有思想性的随笔。
n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃
- He decided not to approach her for fear of rejection.他因怕遭拒绝决定不再去找她。
- The rejection plunged her into the dark depths of despair.遭到拒绝使她陷入了绝望的深渊。
n.注意，前途，瞭望台
- You can see everything around from the lookout.从了望台上你可以看清周围的一切。
- It's a bad lookout for the company if interest rates don't come down.如果利率降不下来，公司的前景可就不妙了。
n.鸡尾酒；餐前开胃小吃；混合物
- We invited some foreign friends for a cocktail party.我们邀请了一些外国朋友参加鸡尾酒会。
- At a cocktail party in Hollywood,I was introduced to Charlie Chaplin.在好莱坞的一次鸡尾酒会上，人家把我介绍给查理·卓别林。
adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的
- We must pull together for mutual interest.我们必须为相互的利益而通力合作。
- Mutual interests tied us together.相互的利害关系把我们联系在一起。
n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的
- After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
- They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
adv.显然；明白地
- Obviously they were putting him to a severe test.显然他们是在给他以严峻的考验。
- Obviously he was lying.显然他是在撒谎。
v.调情，打情骂俏( flirt的现在分词 )
- Don't take her too seriously; she's only flirting with you. 别把她太当真，她只不过是在和你调情罢了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
- 'she's always flirting with that new fellow Tseng!" “她还同新来厂里那个姓曾的吊膀子！ 来自子夜部分
adj.女性的，女子气的
- He has a very feminine voice.他的声音非常像女人。
- She was a very feminine person.她是个很有女性气质的人。
adj.可疑的，容易引起怀疑的，猜疑的，疑心的
- A man was hanging about the house in a suspicious manner.一个男人在房子周围可疑地荡来荡去。
- He's so suspicious he would distrust his own mother.他这个人疑心太重，连自己的母亲也不相信。