零距离美语会话[家庭]Lesson 2:Here comes the bride

Two     Here comes the bride.
新娘来了。
 1    Introduction
A     Some American men have this thinking - why buy the cow if you can get all your milk free? 
一些美国男人有这种思想——如果你可以免费得到牛奶的话，那又何必去买头奶牛呢？（这句话有很明显的引申意义：身边有女人愿意跟着，又何必一定要自寻麻烦娶个老婆呢？）
B     Marriage is not like having a room full of roses; you get out of it whatever you put into it.  Another way of expressing this is, you’ve made your bed now you’re going  to have to sleep in it.
婚姻不像是一个房子装满了玫瑰；你付出了什么就收获什么。另一种说法是，你已经铺好了床，现在你就得睡在里面。
C     She got the gold mine, he got the shaft 1.  That means when the judge decided 2 how the property would be divided in the divorce.  The woman received the biggest part of the marital 3 assets 4.  Most men say, “It’s not marriage that scares me; it’s the divorce court I am most afraid of.”
“她分了金矿，他得到的是茅杆。”那就是说离婚时当法官作出决定财产是如何划分的。大多数男人说，“让我害怕的不是婚姻；是离婚时的法院最让我恐惧。”
D     In most instances, a man who has never been married will prefer to marry a woman who has also never been married.
多数情况下，没结过婚的男人比较愿意娶也没有结过婚的女人。
E     Most men prefer having a wife who is younger than them.  But it’s usual for a man to marry a woman older than himself.  Older women who like younger men are frowned upon in American culture. 
多数男人比较愿意妻子比自己年轻。但是娶比自己大一点的女人也是常有的。老女人喜欢年轻男人，这在美国文化是会引起别人皱眉的。

 2    Sample Sentences
1.   Brad really means a lot to me.
布莱德对我来说真的很重要。
2.   As soon as I met her, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with her.
当我一见到她，我就知道我将会和她共度此生。
3.  If you love someone, set them free; if they come back to you, they’re yours; if they don't, they weren't yours in the first place.
如果你们爱某个人，就让他们自由；如果他们回到你们身边，他们就是你们的；如果他们没有，一开始他们就不是你们的。
4.   I think some people get married before the age of 20.
我认为一些人还没满二十岁就结婚了。
5.   In fact, we are planning a formal engagement 5 for this Christmas, 2001, and an exchange of vows 6 in spring of 2006.
     事实上，我们正计划2001年的圣诞节举行一个订婚仪式，在2006年的春天结婚。
6.   They are looking forward to the union of our love.
他们盼着我们的爱走到一起。
7.   I simply knew I wanted to have certain qualities in a mate and that if the right person came along, marriage was great.
我只知道我想要我的配偶有一些特定的品质，如果要找的那个人出现了，婚姻就是幸福的。
8.   When we finally met in person, it was love at first sight!
当我们最终碰面时，那就是一见钟情。
9.   He is the person I will always love, without end, without bounds, and with all my heart.
     他是我将永远爱着的人，没有尽头，没有界限，用尽我全部的心。
10.  We sometimes struggle with being newlyweds and an instant family.  However, we wouldn't trade any of this for anything in the world.
结为新婚夫妇以及速成一个家庭，为此我们有时不免有些斗争。然而，我们不会拿这些与世上任何一样东西相替换。
11.  As a matter of fact, we are talking about marriage, although it is not official yet (he hasn't formally proposed).
    事实上，我们在谈论结婚，尽管还不是正式的（他还没正式求婚）。

 3     Conversations
1.  Here Comes the Bride.
At a wedding reception in St. Louis, Missouri.
Tim:  Thanks for inviting 7 me to your friend’s wedding.  I was surprised to hear the bride and groom1 talking to each other that way during the marriage ceremony2.  Is that common?
Sam:  Well, some people use a standard set of words, but many couples today write their own wedding vows3.
Tim:  Your tradition of throwing rice as they got into their car was interesting, but it didn't look like real rice to me.
Sam:  It wasn't.  It was birdseed4.  We don't throw rice anymore because someone discovered that birds come along and eat the rice and have trouble digesting it.
Tim:  Oh, I didn't think of that.  Well, this reception reminds me of wedding parties back in China.  Plenty of food and drink, music and dancing, and interesting traditions.
Sam:  Wait until you see what happens next!  The bride is getting ready to throw her bouquet5.  Let's go over and watch.
Tim:  She’s got quite a crowd around her.  Oh, look!  That little girl caught it!
Sam:  She’s my friend’s ten-year-old niece.  I guess there won’t be another wedding in this family for a long time.

Additional Information：
 Most American weddings are held in churches.  The reception may take place in a rented hall such as a hotel banquet room.  Guests always give gifts at the reception.  Often the wedding reception is catered 9 by the hotel or an outside catering 10 service.  Alcoholic 11 beverages 12 are usually served including Champaign. 
大部分美国婚礼在教堂举行。举行宴会的地方有可能是在一个租用大厅，例如酒店的宴会厅。客人一般在宴会上赠送礼物。通常结婚宴席由酒店或者由外面一个承办宴席行业承办。各种酒饮料像香槟通常会供应。
【译文】
——谢谢你邀请我来参加你朋友的婚礼。听到新娘和新郎在婚礼上这样互相说，我真惊讶。那样很常见吗？
——一些人使用一套标准的词句，但是今天很多夫妻自己写他们的结婚誓言。
——当他们上车时，你们传统上的扔大米很有趣，但是在我看来不像是真正的大米。
——不是。是鸟食。我们不再丢大米是因为有人发现鸟儿一起来吃大米，很难消化。
——噢，我还没想到了。这宴会让我想起中国的婚礼。很多吃的喝的，音乐、跳舞，还有有趣的传统仪式。
——你等着看下面的！新娘要准备丢花束了。我们过去看看。
——她周围可围了不少人。噢，看！那个小女孩捧到了！
——她是我朋友十岁的侄女。我猜这个家族很久不会再有人结婚了。

2.    Living together before getting married.
Zoe:  Hey Kevin, what are you doing here?  Don't you usually spend Tuesday nights at home studying?
Kevin:  I needed to get out of the house.  My parents just went ballistic6 over something my older sister told them.
Zoe:  What did she tell them?  Is she dropping out of college?
Kevin:  Nothing that serious.  She finally told them that she moved out of the dormitory a few months ago and has been living with her boyfriend.
Zoe:  And your parents took it badly? 
Kevin:  That's putting it mildly7.  My father started shouting at my sister and my mother just glared 13 at her. 
Zoe:  Ouch, that sounds bad.  What did your sister do?
Kevin:  She started arguing back to my dad that how much she loves her boyfriend, how they're in love and it's not hurting anybody, and so on.  My dad said she's too young to do this, and that she should move out right away.
Zoe:  How long has your sister been with her boyfriend?
Kevin:  Three years.  They've been dating since freshman 14 year.  They're even talking about marriage.
Zoe:  Really?  Then I guess living together would be a good idea.
Kevin: What do you mean?
Zoe:  Well, these days too many people are getting divorced.  If they live together, then at least they're finding out if they're really compatible8 or not.
Kevin:  I guess so.  Better to find out now than after you're married, when it's harder to get out.
Helpful Information： 
Since the 1960’s, America has been much more tolerant 16 of couples living together—like husbands and wives—without being married. The issue of sex before marriage is generally not as upsetting to parents as it was before.
自1960年以来，美国对未婚同居的伴侣就越来越能够接受。父母对婚前性行为通常也不会像以前那样伤心。
【译文】
——嗨，凯文，你在这儿干什么？星期二晚上你通常不是在家学习吗？
——我当时是迫不得已要离开这个家。我父母对我姐姐告诉他们的事一下子大发雷霆。
——她对他们讲了什么？她要从大学退学吗？
——没那么严重。她最后告诉他们几个月前她搬出了宿舍，一直和她男朋友住在一起。
——那你父母觉得很不好吗？
——那样把事情说小了。我父亲开始对我姐姐大喊大叫，我母亲对她怒目而视。
——哎哟，听起来很糟糕。你姐姐怎么做？
——她开始对我父亲回嘴说她有多么爱她的男朋友，他们怎么相爱，而且没有伤害任何人等等。我父亲说她太小了不该这样，而且她应该马上搬出来。
——你姐姐和她男朋友在一起多久了？
——三年。他们从大学一年级开始就一直约会。他们甚至在谈论结婚。
——真的吗？那么我想在一起生活还是个好主意。
——你什么意思？
——唔，现在太多的人离婚。如果他们在一起生活，那么至少他们会发现他们是否能真正和睦相处。
——我想也是。现在发现比结婚后发现要好，到那时就很难摆脱了。

3.   Talking about mother in laws.
Ned:  Hi, Becky, what's up?
Becky:  Not much, except that my mother-in-law is driving me up the wall9.
Ned:  What's the problem?
Becky:  She loves to nit-pick10 and criticizes everything that I do.  I can never do anything right when she's around.
Ned:  For example?
Becky:  Well, last week I invited her over to dinner.  My husband and I had no problem with the food, but if you listened to her, then it would seem like I fed her old meat and rotten11 vegetables.  There's just nothing can please her. 
Ned:  No, I can't see that happening.  I know you're a good cook and nothing like that would ever happen.
Becky:  It's not just that.  She also criticizes how we raise the kids.
Ned:  My mother-in-law used to do the same thing to us.  If it wasn't disciplining12 them enough, then we were disciplining them too much.  She also complained about the food we fed them, the schools we sent them too, and everything else under the sun13.
Becky:  You said she used to?  How did you stop her?
Ned:  We basically sat her down and told her how we felt about her constant14 criticizing, and how we welcomed her advice but hoped she'd let us do our things.  She understood, and now everything is a lot more peaceful.
Becky:  That sounds like a good idea.  I'll have to try that.

Additional Information：
Nowadays wives seldom live with their mother in laws.  So this doesn’t happen often. 
现在妻子很少和他们的婆婆住在一起。所以这类事很少出现。
【译文】
——嗨，贝基，有什么事吗？
——没什么，只是我婆婆让我气愤。
——怎么啦？
——她喜欢吹毛求疵，批评我做的每件事情。当她在边上时，我什么事都做不好。
——举个例子？
——比如，上周我邀请她过来吃饭。我丈夫和我对饭菜都觉得没什么不好，但如果你听了她说的话，那就似乎是我给她吃臭肉、烂菜。简直没有一件事能让她高兴。
——不，我看不出会发生这种事。我知道你是个手艺不错的厨师，像那样的事决不会发生。
——事情还不止那样。她还批评我怎么抚养小孩。
——我岳母娘过去也常对我们这样。如果不是对他们管得太严，就是对他们约束太多。她还抱怨我们给他们做的饭菜，我们所选的学校，以及世上的一切事情。
——你是说她过去也这样？你怎么阻止她的？
——我们主要是让她坐下来，然后告诉她我们对她时刻不停地批评有什么感受，我们怎样欢迎她提建议，但希望她能让我们做我们的事。她理解了，现在一切都平静多了。
——听起来是个好主意。我得试一试。

4.    Indiscretion.
Janice:  What's the matter, Lisa?  You don't look too good.
Lisa:  I just found out that my husband is cheating on15 me.
Janice:  You mean Mark?  He seems like such an honest guy.
Lisa:  That's what I thought.  It seems that he's been seeing someone else for about two months. 
Janice:  Two months?  How did you find out?
Lisa:  I asked for leave and was at home when the telephone rang.  I picked it up and a girl asked to talk to Mark.  She then asked if I was his sister, and I said no, I was his wife.  She hung up immediately. 
Janice:  So you asked him about the girl who called?
Lisa:  Yeah, he first said it was someone from work. He gave me a lame16 excuse, and so I pressed him on it. 
Janice:  What'd he do?
Lisa:  He kept trying to make stupid excuses, and then broke down17 and admitted to a small indiscretion18.
Janice:  Indiscretion?  How can an indiscretion last two months?  I mean, you two have been married for two years!  How can he do that to you? 
Lisa:  I told him I would divorce him if he wouldn’t tell me the truth or end the relationship with her.
Janice:  Good.  I totally agree with what you did.
【译文】
——什么事，丽莎？你看上去不高兴。
——我刚发现我丈夫对我不忠。
——你是说马克？他看上去像一个很诚实的男人。
——我过去也是那样想。他好像已经和别人约会了近两个月。
——两个月？你怎么发现的？
——我请了假在家, 电话响了。我拿起电话，一个女孩说找马克。然后她问我是否是马克的姊妹，我说不是，我是他妻子。她立即挂了电话。
——然后你问他打电话的那个女孩是谁？
——是的，起先他说是同事。他找了一个根本就站不住脚的借口，所以我逼他说。
——他怎么做？
——他不断地找些愚蠢的借口，然后又说不是，承认有点言行失检。
——言行失检？言行失检怎么能持续两个月？我是说，你们两个已经结婚两年了！他怎么能那样对你？
——我说如果他不告诉我真相并和她断离关系，我就和他离婚。
——很好。我完全赞成你的做法。

 4   Words and Expressions
1. groom  新郎
2. ceremony 仪式, 典礼
3. vow   誓,誓言,誓约
4. birdseed  鸟食, 鸟饵
5. bouquet 8 花束, 一束花
6. ballistic  弹道的
7. mildly   温和地, 和善地
8. compatible 15 能共处的; 可并立的
9. drive up the wall 使...大怒 
10. nit-pick 挑剔;吹毛求疵
12. discipline 惩戒，训导 
13. under the sun   世界上
14. constant 不停的,接连不断的,持续的
15. cheat on    (夫或妻)表现不忠,不贞
16. lame 17 站不住脚的,无说服力的
17. break down 失败;故障
18. indiscretion 不慎重;言行失检