My Best Friend’s Wedding

Michael: I called because I met someone.

Julianne: Well, that’s great. That’s great ’cause you haven’t really seen anybody, have you — since 1)dingbat Jenny Lee.

Michael: No, you don’t understand. I’ve never felt this way about anybody. I mean, she’s all wrong for me.

Julianne: Well, there’s a good start.

Michael: Well no, I mean, she’s a junior at the University of Chicago. She’s 20. Her name’s Kim. Jules, you’re gonna to love her. She’s beautiful and her dad is this billionaire and he owns the White 2)Sox and some cable empire and, you know, I’ve always been kind of uncomfortable around rich people.

Julianne: Sure.

Michael: But they’re not like that. They’re such wonderful people. Really, 3)salt of the earth.

Julianne: So you’ve met her parents?

Michael: Yeah.

Julianne: Umhmm...

Michael: Jules, we’re getting married this Sunday. Hello? Hello?

Julianne: Michael....

Michael: Hello?

George: Listen, Jules, why don’t we just stop and have a drink and you can take a later flight?

Julianne: No, no, no, no. I’m a busy girl. I’ve got exactly four days to 4)break up a wedding, steal the bride’s 5)fella, and I haven’t one clue how to do it. He adored me for nine goddamn years, Me!

George: I can see why.

Julianne: Look, she has known him for what? Five seconds? OK, plus she’s got billions of dollars, plus she’s apparently 1 perfect. OK, so don’t go feeling all sorry for Miss Preteen Illinois. I can’t lose him, George. I’m gonna bring him back.

Kimmy: Oh, this just makes everything so perfect! From the day I met Michael, all I’ve heard is Julianne this and Julianne that. I’ve never had a sister. (While driving) Right up, I have this 6)monstrous 2 favor to ask you.

Julianne: Excuse me?

Kimmy: My best friend Angeline shattered her 7)pelvis line-dancing in Abilene over spring break. Be my maid of honor?

Julianne: What! Shouldn’t you promote a 8)bridesmaid or someone that you’ve known for at least 45 minutes?

Kimmy: My bridesmaids are my only two female relatives under the age of 40, debutante 3 sisters from Nashville who are basically 9)vengeful 10)sluts. Oh my exit! So this means I have four days to make you my new best friend. It’s time for you to force yourself to get personal.

Kimmy’s mother: George?

George: Yes, darling?

Kimmy’s mother: How did you and Julianne meet?

Julianne: George is my editor.

George: Yes. But Poofy, we met a long time before that. Actually, it’s a very romantic story. Would you like to tell it, Sweet Pea?

Julianne: No, it’s private.

George: Hmm, not anymore. I first met Julianne in a mental institution. Julianne was obviously seeing some French chef she’d sent 11)insane with a bad review. And I was there visiting Dionne Warwick.

Kimmy’s mother: Dionne Warwick?

George: Well yes, he thought he was Dionne Warwick.

Man 1: Who is Dionne Warwick?

George: Uh, 12)sacrilege, darling.

Sister: She’s Whitney Houston’s aunt.

Man 2: She’s very good on the 13)psychic 4 friend’s network.

Michael: Isn’t she?

Sisters: (singing) Do you know the way to San Jose, la, la, la...

George: So there I was with Dionne, whose real name by the way is Jerry. We were having one hell of sing-song, and suddenly breezing through the doors from the electric shock 14)therapy room, I saw her. A vision in pink...

Michael: Pink? You don’t wear pink.

George: Oh, she does, Michael, sometimes. She does wear pink.

Julianne: George...

George: You do.

Julianne: I do.

George: I said to Dionne, ＂Dionne, who is this vision? Quesce c’est vision? Surely she must be the 15)understudy to some fabulous 5 Broadway star, I mean, look at her skin! Who does her hair?＂ And in that moment, I knew....

Julianne: OK, we don’t all need to know what you...

All: Oh yes, we do... We’d love to know...Yes!

Michael: I’m very curious.

George: They do. I knew that some day we’d end up like this, like some glittering Doris Day, Rock Hudson 16)extravaganza. I said to Dionne, ＂Dionne, I’m in love. Could this 17)siren love me? Are the gods so kind?＂ And Dionne turned to me, opened her lovely eyes and said...

Woman:  What did she say?

George: (singing) The moment I wake up, before I put on my makeup 6...

Kimmiy’s mother: (singing) I say a little pray for you.

George: (singing) While combing my hair now, while wondering what dress to wear now...

Sisters: (singing) I say a little prayer for you.

All: (singing) For ever and ever, you’ll stay in my heart, and I do love you. For ever and ever, we never will part. Oh how I love you, together forever. That’s how it must feel to be without you...

Kimmy’s father: (singing) It’d only be heartbreak for me...

Kimmy: How is he?

Julianne: Well, he’s sort of wondering why you haven’t told your parents that the wedding’s off?

Kimmy: Well, I don’t know. I’m still hoping for a miracle, I suppose. I mean, how could he think that my father and I would do such a thing?

Julianne: I only 18)minored in psych, you understand. Maybe Michael couldn’t commit to this marriage so he created a 19)delusion 8, produced an 20)unconscious 21)psychosomatic 22)manifestation 9 of... I’m better with food. OK, you’re Michael. You’re in a fancy French restaurant. You order creme brulee for dessert. It’s beautiful, it’s sweet, it’s irritatingly perfect. But suddenly Michael realizes he doesn’t want creme brulee, he wants something else.

Kimmy: What does he want?

Julianne: 23)Jello 10.

Kimmy: Jello? Why does he want jello?

Julianne: Because he’s comfortable with jello. Jello makes him comfortable. I realize compared to creme brulee, it’s jello. But maybe that’s what he needs.

Kimmy: I could be jello.

Julianne: No, creme brulee can never be jello, you could never be jello.

Kimmy: I have to be jello.

Julianne: You’re never gonna be jello. Now you need to come clean with your parents because if you’re waiting for that, ＂Do you take this man＂ part, it’s considered poor form.

Kimmy: I love him. And whatever delusions 11 I drove Michael to, there’s truth at the heart of it. You see, I want him to work for my father. I want to stay in school and I want a life of my own. Please tell him that it’s my fault and that I love him. You’re the only person that I trust.

Julianne: I’ll be right back.

Kimmy: Thank you.

Michael: Do you think she still loves me?

Julianne: Love, umm well, it’s a strong word and I don’t know that I’m necessarily qualified 12 as a... I mean, I guess I wouldn’t be totally 24)off base if I said that in her way she does possess strong feelings...

Michael: Jules.

Julianne: Sure, she does, Michael. She’s crazy about you.

Boys: (sing) You fill up my senses like a night in the forest, like the mountains in spring time...

Michael: Tell her that I’ll marry her at six o’clock if she’ll still have me. Please.

Julianne: I’ll be right, right back.

Boys: (sing) Come love me again. CE

05、我最好朋友的婚礼

(又名“新娘不是我”)

迈克尔：我打电话是想告诉你，我认识了一个女孩。

朱丽安：啊，好极了。好极了，自从那个怪人珍妮·李以后，你都没怎么约会过，是不是？

迈克尔：不，你不明白。我从没这样爱过别人。我是说，她全然不合适我。

朱丽安：这倒是个良好的开端。

迈克尔：不，我是说，她在芝加哥大学念大三，20岁，名字叫金。朱儿，你会很喜欢她的。她长得很漂亮，她的爸爸还是个亿万富翁，他拥有白短袜公司和什么电缆帝国，你知道的，我和富家子弟相处总是觉得别扭。

朱丽安：是啊。

迈克尔∶但他们不是那种人。他们人好极了。真的，很有修养。

朱丽安∶那么说你去见过她的父母了？

迈克尔：是的。

朱丽安：唔……

迈克尔：朱儿，这个星期天我们就要结婚了。喂？喂？

朱丽安：迈克尔……

迈克尔：喂？

乔治：听我说，朱儿，我们何不停步去喝点什么，你可以搭晚班飞机走？

朱丽安：不行，不行，不行，不行。我忙得很呢。我只有四天时间破坏婚礼，抢走新郎，现在我还没想出办法来。他爱了我九年，他爱的是我！

乔治：我能看出来。

朱丽安：而她才认识了他多久？五秒钟吧？好的，就算她还有亿万家财，就算她貌美无双。好，就算她是伊利诺斯选美皇后也不能可怜。我不能失去他，乔治。我要把他带回来。

金蜜∶哦，你来了一切就完美了！自打我认识迈克尔那天起，就总听他说朱丽安这、朱丽安那的。我从来都没有过好姐妹。（驾驶中）现在我想请你帮个怪忙。

朱丽安：什么？

金蜜：我最好的朋友安吉利娜放春假时在阿比力跳舞，摔断了骨盆线。请你做我的伴娘好吗？

朱丽安：什么！你不从女傧相中挑一个吗，或者找个至少认识了45分钟的人也好？

金蜜：我的女傧相只有两个不到40岁的女亲戚，这对姐妹从纳什维尔来，初入社交场合，根本就是浪荡妇。噢，出口在这！也就是说，我有四天来让你成为我最好的朋友。你该强迫自己来亲近我。

金蜜妈妈：乔治？

乔治：什么事，亲爱的夫人？

金蜜妈妈：你是怎么认识朱丽安的？

朱丽安：乔治是我的编辑。

乔治：是的。但是啊，我们早在那之前就认识了。其实那还是个很浪漫的故事呢。你愿意告诉大家吗，亲爱的？

朱丽安：不，这是私事。

乔治：唔，已经不是私事了。我第一次遇见朱丽安是在一家精神病院里。朱丽安显然是去看某位为她恶评所逼疯的法国大厨。我到那里是去探望迪翁·瓦威克。

金蜜妈妈：迪翁·瓦威克？

乔治：是的，他以为自己是迪翁·瓦威克。

男1：迪翁·瓦威克是谁？

乔治：唔，亲爱的，你太孤陋寡闻了。

姐姐：她就是惠特尼·休斯顿的姨妈。

男2：对通灵术很有一套。

迈克尔：是吗？

姐妹：（唱）你知道怎么去圣荷西吗，啦啦啦……

乔治∶当时我就和迪翁在一起，顺便提一下，他的真名叫杰里。我们在一起唱了许多歌，突然从电疗室那边刮来一阵穿堂风，我就看见了她。一个粉红色的身影……

迈克尔∶粉红？你从来不穿粉红色。

乔治∶哦，有时候她也穿的，迈克尔。她是穿粉红色的。

朱丽安：乔治……

乔治：你是穿。

朱丽安：我是穿。

乔治∶我问迪翁：“迪翁，这个俏影是谁？这个俏影是谁？我想她一定是某位百老汇巨星的替身演员，瞧她的皮肤！她的发型是谁做的？”那一刻我就知道了……

朱丽安：好了，大家用不着知道所有细节……

众∶哦，要知道……我们想知道……是的！

迈克尔：我很好奇。

乔治：他们想知道。我早知道我们会有今天这样的结果。就像光芒璀璨的多丽丝·戴-洛克·赫德逊《爱情狂想曲》。我对迪翁说：“迪翁，我恋爱了。这位女妖会爱我吗？上天会这么眷顾我吗？”迪翁转身朝我睁着她那可爱的眼睛，说……

女：她说什么？

乔治：（唱）我醒来的一刻，妆容未施……

金蜜妈妈∶（唱）我为你轻声祈祷。

乔治：（唱）我梳着头发的时候，我思量着穿哪件衣服的时候……

姐妹∶（唱）我为你轻声祈祷。

众：（唱）到永远，你会永驻我心间，我真的爱你。到永远，我们永不分离。哦，我如此爱你，永远在一起。没有你就只会感觉……

金蜜爸爸∶（唱）我只会感觉到心碎……

金蜜：他还好吗？

朱丽安：他感到有点奇怪，你怎么还不把取消婚礼的消息告诉你父母？

金蜜：唔，我不知道。我想仍在盼望着奇迹出现吧。我是说，他怎么会认为我父亲和我会做出这样的事来呢？

朱丽安：你要知道，我对心理学了解不多。或许迈克尔因为无法面对婚礼而产生出错觉，无意识地制造了一个受压力所迫发的心理反应……我还是对食物比较在行。好吧，你就是迈克尔。你在一家豪华的法国餐馆里，你点了一道法式奶派做甜点。它是那么好看，那么香甜，不可抵挡的完美。可突然之间，迈克尔意识到他并不想要法式奶派，他想要别的东西。

金蜜：他想要什么？

朱丽安：果冻。

金蜜∶果冻？他为什么想要果冻？

朱丽安∶因为他觉得和果冻一起自在。果冻让他舒服。我知道和法式奶派相比，果冻只是果冻。但是或许这正是他需要的。

金蜜：我可以当果冻啊。

朱丽安∶不行，法式奶派永远当不了果冻，你永远当不了果冻。

金蜜∶我必须当果冻。

朱丽安：你当不了果冻。现在你要去跟父母讲清楚，因为如果你还在等着“你是否愿意嫁给此人”那一刻的话，实在太可怜了。

金蜜：我爱他。不管我让他产生了什么错觉，我心里都真正爱着他。你知道,我想让他为我爸爸工作。我想留在学校里继续学业，我想有自己的生活。请你告诉他，这些都是我的错，而且我爱他。你是我唯一信任的人。

朱丽安：我马上回来。

金蜜：谢谢。

迈克尔：你认为她还爱我吗？

朱丽安：爱，这个嘛，这个字眼太大了，我不，我必然要……我是说，我猜如果我没有完全搞错的话，用她的话来说，她还是有强烈感情的……

迈克尔：朱儿。

朱丽安：当然，她还爱你，迈克尔。她疯狂地爱着你。

男孩：（唱）你占据着我全身心，就像夜晚的森林，就像春天的山峦……

迈克尔：告诉她，我六点和她结婚，如果她还要我的话。拜托你了。

朱丽安：我马上，马上回来。

男孩：（唱）再爱我一次。 CE

1) dingbat [5diNbAt] n. 笨蛋，怪人

2) sox [sCks] n. 短袜

3) salt of the earth 社会中坚，最优秀的人

4) break up 破坏，分裂

5) fella [5felE] n. 小伙子

6) monstrous [5mCnstrEs] a. 恐怖的，荒诞的

7) pelvis [5pelvis] n. 骨盆

8) bridesmaid [5braidzmeid] n. 女傧相

9) vengeful [5vendVful] n. 报复心切的

10) slut [slQt] n. 懒妇，荡妇

11) insane [in5sein] a. 患精神病的

12) sacrilege [5sAkrilidV] n. 悖理逆天的行为，亵渎神灵

13) psychic [5saikik] n. 精神，心理

14) therapy [5WerEpi] n. 治疗

15) understudy [5QndEstQdi] n. 替角

16) extravaganza [eks9trAvE5gAnzE] n.狂妄的言行

17) siren [5saiErEn] n. 妖妇，对男人有害的女人

18) minor 7 [5mainEr] v. 副修

19) delusion [di5lu:VEn] n. 错觉

20) unconscious [Qn5kCnFEs] a. 无意识的

21) psychosomatic [saikEusE5mAtik] a.受心理影响的

22) manifestation [mAnifes5teiFEn] n. 显示，表现

23) jello [5dVelEu] n. 果冻

24) off base 与事实不符的，错误的