英语视频：二十岁一去不再来

 　5天内超过60万次浏览量的最新TED演讲“二十岁一去不再来”激起了世界各地的热烈讨论，资深心理治疗师 Meg Jay 分享给20多岁青年人的人生建议：(1)不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。(2)不要把自己封锁在小圈子里。(3)记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

　　Meg说：“第一，我常告诉二十多岁的男孩女孩，不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，开始思考你可以是谁，并且去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。现在就是最好的尝试 时机，不管是海外实习，还是创业，或者做公益。第二，年轻人经常聚在一起，感情好到可以穿一条裤子。可是社会中许多机会是从弱关系开始的，不要把自己封锁 在小圈子里，走出去你才会对自己的经历有更多的认识。第三，记住你可以选择自己的家庭。你的婚姻就是未来几十年的家庭，就算你要到三十岁结婚，现在选择和 什么样的人交往也是至关重要的。简而言之，二十岁是不能轻易挥霍的美好时光。”
　　这段关于20岁青年人如何看待人生的演讲引起了许多TED粉丝的讨论，来自TEDx组织团队的David Webber就说：Meg指出最重要的一点便是青年人需要及早意识到积累经验和眼界，无论是20岁还是30岁，都是有利自己发展的重要事。”
　　When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology 1 at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex. Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved.
　　My classmate got an arsonist 2 for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle. But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.
　　"Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.
　　But before long, my supervisor 3 pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back. I said, "Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."
　　And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but she might marry the next one. Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one."
　　That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment. That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime. That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it.
　　That was when I realized that this sort of benign 4 neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures 5 of twentysomethings everywhere.
　　There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood 6 without going through their 20s first.
　　Raise your hand if you're in your 20s. I really want to see some twentysomethings here. Oh, yay! Y'all's awesome 7. If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see — Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.
　　So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.
　　This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!" moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s.
　　People who are over 40, don't panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.
　　We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt 8 in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky 9 after age 35.
　　So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options. So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment 10 in the brain. It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate 11 impact on who you will become.
　　But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development. But this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing. Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.
　　Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence 12. Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters" and "kidults." It's true. As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood. Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. Isn't that true?
　　So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "You have 10 extra years to start your life"? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.
　　And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: "I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count. I'm just killing 13 time."
　　Or they say, "Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine." But then it starts to sound like this: "My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college."
　　And then it starts to sound like this: "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn't want to be the only one left standing 14 up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30."
　　Where are the twentysomethings here? Do not do that. Okay, now that sounds a little flip 15, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.
 




点击收听单词发音  






1
psychology

  
 


n.心理，心理学，心理状态


参考例句：





She has a background in child psychology.她受过儿童心理学的教育。
He studied philosophy and psychology at Cambridge.他在剑桥大学学习哲学和心理学。












2
arsonist

  
 


n.纵火犯


参考例句：





You're pretty sure you can identify a single arsonist?你确信你能鉴别出一个特定的纵火者？
The arsonist confessed that he set fire to six businesses.那纵火犯承认他给6家商场纵过火。












3
supervisor

  
 


n.监督人，管理人，检查员，督学，主管，导师


参考例句：





Between you and me I think that new supervisor is a twit.我们私下说，我认为新来的主管人是一个傻瓜。
He said I was too flighty to be a good supervisor.他说我太轻浮不能成为一名好的管理员。












4
benign

  
 


adj.善良的，慈祥的；良性的，无危险的


参考例句：





The benign weather brought North America a bumper crop.温和的气候给北美带来大丰收。
Martha is a benign old lady.玛莎是个仁慈的老妇人。












5
futures

  
 


n.期货，期货交易


参考例句：





He continued his operations in cotton futures.他继续进行棉花期货交易。
Cotton futures are selling at high prices.棉花期货交易的卖价是很高的。












6
adulthood

  
 


n.成年，成人期


参考例句：





Some infantile actions survive into adulthood.某些婴儿期的行为一直保持到成年期。
Few people nowadays are able to maintain friendships into adulthood.如今很少有人能将友谊维持到成年。












7
awesome

  
 


adj.令人惊叹的，难得吓人的，很好的


参考例句：





The church in Ireland has always exercised an awesome power.爱尔兰的教堂一直掌握着令人敬畏的权力。
That new white convertible is totally awesome.那辆新的白色折篷汽车简直棒极了.












8
spurt

  
 


v.喷出；突然进发；突然兴隆


参考例句：





He put in a spurt at the beginning of the eighth lap.他进入第八圈时便开始冲刺。
After a silence, Molly let her anger spurt out.沉默了一会儿，莫莉的怒气便迸发了出来。












9
tricky

  
 


adj.狡猾的，奸诈的；(工作等)棘手的，微妙的


参考例句：





I'm in a rather tricky position.Can you help me out?我的处境很棘手，你能帮我吗？
He avoided this tricky question and talked in generalities.他回避了这个非常微妙的问题，只做了个笼统的表述。












10
attachment

  
 


n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附


参考例句：





She has a great attachment to her sister.她十分依恋她的姐姐。
She's on attachment to the Ministry of Defense.她现在隶属于国防部。












11
inordinate

  
 


adj.无节制的；过度的


参考例句：





The idea of this gave me inordinate pleasure.我想到这一点感到非常高兴。
James hints that his heroine's demands on life are inordinate.詹姆斯暗示他的女主人公对于人生过于苛求。












12
adolescence

  
 


n.青春期，青少年


参考例句：





Adolescence is the process of going from childhood to maturity.青春期是从少年到成年的过渡期。
The film is about the trials and tribulations of adolescence.这部电影讲述了青春期的麻烦和苦恼。












13
killing

  
 


n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财


参考例句：





Investors are set to make a killing from the sell-off.投资者准备清仓以便大赚一笔。
Last week my brother made a killing on Wall Street.上个周我兄弟在华尔街赚了一大笔。












14
standing

  
 


n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的


参考例句：





After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。












15
flip

  
 


vt.快速翻动；轻抛；轻拍；n.轻抛；adj.轻浮的


参考例句：





I had a quick flip through the book and it looked very interesting.我很快翻阅了一下那本书，看来似乎很有趣。
Let's flip a coin to see who pays the bill.咱们来抛硬币决定谁付钱。